International Army Mayl 2020

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Sorry for the downer on this beautiful sunny day. I'm trying to process and work out a few things in my head and I find writing it out knowing it will be read very effective.

Bless your, heart. You are heard here. In the early days your head will be all over the place. We have been there (honestly) and we know that some days it feels like we've got shoes made of heavy lead and minds made of spaghetti. It is quite normal after that first buzz.
It would be easy to say feck this ...........no-one's paying attention I may as well go back to what I was doing.................but you're not doing it for your kids, your ex, your parents or even us in the Army...............its for you and you only...........the honesty in your posts show your willingness and trying not to sound trite hear this will pass.

[mollyka]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Bless your, heart. You are heard here. In the early days your head will be all over the place. We have been there (honestly) and we know that some days it feels like we've got shoes made of heavy lead and minds made of spaghetti. It is quite normal after that first buzz.
It would be easy to say feck this ...........no-one's paying attention I may as well go back to what I was doing.................but you're not doing it for your kids, your ex, your parents or even us in the Army...............its for you and you only...........the honesty in your posts show your willingness and trying not to sound trite hear this will pass.

Couldn't agree more...once you turn your head around to doing it for yourself..it just begins to make sense..you will never get truly sober (yeah you can be a dry drunk till you die but no one wants that)until you want the best for you...the rest will happen..or not happen..my dad asked me many years ago when my heart had been broken...'if he doesn't want you WHY would you want him?'....makes sense..can't speak for your wife..but I would put money on it that down the road if your kids see you making a new 'you'..they will be part of your life..
But for now...just you...nothing else ..

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

.can't speak for your wife..but I would put money on it that down the road if your kids see you making a new 'you'..they will be part of your life..
But for now...just you...nothing else ..

- and the same may apply to your wife and even friends. When they start to be comfortable around you again they will all want to hang with you more ....
I read somewhere : when people see you turn things around ..... they will respect you, trust you, they will feel more comfortable in your company ....... all easy ...... meeting up will be like putting on an old pair of slippers.

[rustop59]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

- and the same may apply to your wife and even friends. When they start to be comfortable around you again they will all want to hang with you more ....
I read somewhere : when people see you turn things around ..... they will respect you, trust you, they will feel more comfortable in your company ....... all easy ...... meeting up will be like putting on an old pair of slippers.

Once again great advice Chancy. Busy day here, started painting. Did the dining room ceiling and will do the walls tomorrow. Another fabulous day, Bbq’d this evening, quick and easy. Night everyone.

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Night Rusty -
How the feck you can paint on a sweltering day like that ? Fair fecks to you.

I'm back in work again tomorrow - I too am tiring of the heat.
'The residents are revolting' too - 'cos of the heat :haha:

They want to sit outside - but no-one to watch them - or no-one can be arsed. There is a lazy element who do nothing at weekends.
So some frail residents need to be kept in. It's sad really.
I sure as hell am not answering phones, watching renegade residents who run for the open doors, admin work & then doing Carer's jobs for them while they go for a smoke.

The worst culprit is 96 year old Sarah. Fully with-it - she had me mithered today. I had to keep going out and moving her chair for her to follow the sun in order that she got an even tan ...... Jesus !!!

[IamMary]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Evening,
Couldnt get on last night. My parents were over for a BBQ, my dads birthday and their first time out since lock down. They were like a pair on their debs (prom?) night, the excitement.. We all sat out until late, wrapped up in blankets.

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], sorry to hear about your barney :hug:, nothing worse than going to bed when your head is melting. Glad things are a bit better.
I hate having big rows. Squabbles are fine. But they are normal, maybe even healthy if they bring things to a head..

I've found that many people feel threatened by others who make different diet choices then they do. I know some people in my life feel judged by me when they eat sweets or drink alcohol in my presence despite the fact that I never say anything about it. Apparently not participating speaks louder than words. Turning down sugary treats offered to me sometimes makes the giver feel like I'm rejecting their love. Declining drinks with friends and not participating in the rituals somehow undermines the group. And, writing about what works for me in the hope that it might help someone else has led to some unnecessarily harsh exchanges. But, it makes me very happy to hear about your success with low carb/keto/IF and I hope that maybe some lurker reading our stories will be inspired to investigate ways to improve their health, too, whether by these protocols or some other changes to what they drink and eat.

Completely agree here. My close friends know me better, but colleagues or less close friend can watch me for a reaction, add explanations (its the weekend, you have to let your hair down) or change the subject when they remember that I dont drink. This used to bother me, a lot. Less so now. What they think of me, is really none of my concern (I try to make this my mantra, but not always easy!).

Chances, really well done, you are marching on through this and the days are ticking away. Your gang will be very proud of you.

[MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION], keep talking nutrition, I love it. Normal weight here, but slipping into some covid eating and its a bad habit. 8 stone or 18 stone, positive food conversations are always welcome. Plus I have teenagers and with the girls it can be tricky, as you probably know.
Laughing at JCs post and the idea that its ok to say "your looking a bit heafty there Betty".

[fickle]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

I found myself contemplating whether or not to do something social the other day and musing over what I would say about not drinking. I figured I would order a vodka soda without the vodka so as to look like I was drinking to avoid having to discuss it with anyone. I also thought about what to say when someone offered to buy another... something like 'just a soda and lemon please, not feeling like more vodka just this minute, I’ll get another later'... This was really interesting to me to discover how nervous I feel about having to 'make excuses' and the lengths I was going to think through different scenarios in my head. It's easy to think why should I care, but it's not the reality. I really have found (especially in my last job) that people were loudly offended if I declined cake or donuts. I've also had that happen to me at social occasions over declining wine or asking for soft drinks. Even bringing and quietly opening my own AF drinks, people feel they have to make a fuss about it. You would think this would be a non-issue with driving laws these days. I know it is a ridiculous thing to let others berate me, especially when in my mind they are behaving rudely. I also go into a negative self talk spiral about why do people think they have the right to treat me this way.. is it something I'm doing? Do I need to be more assertive, more dignified, less childish, less friendly and forgiving??? It gets blown into something out of all proportion in my mind so I’m avoiding social situations all together. There are times where I just laugh and shrug it off, and it might pass unnoticed, but surprisingly often it doesn't. I've tried to just say I’ve quit sugar and be done with it.. but people still have to ask me ‘but you can drink vodka can’t you’ and go on to question me further. Anyone else got advice on how to shut those people down nicely? Or does the nicely not matter.. You know I’d rather punch some of them. I can't decide if they are being harmless or being bullies. I guess there is a mix but either way its exhausting.
:cuss:

[mollyka]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Personally Fickle I only go to social gatherings that #1 I want to and #2 I'm totally comfortable with..and that includes events where rude or ignorant people (because that what they are) would be...much rather be home with my book tbh...since I quit drinking most of those events bore me rigid...I've even swerved weddings..but that's me...I would NOT lie...neither do I make pronouncements 'I'm an alcoholic' sort of things..I just firmly..with a firm smiley face that broker NO questions say 'I DONT DRINK'...end of....

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

[MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION]
I certainly would not pretend there is vodka in my glass - that is lethal :egad:
In the beginning you need to 'fake it to make it'
I just said - I'm not drinking at the moment. They will ask why - but be firm just say 'I don't want to' and shrug. There is nothing they can say to that.
Then this is where - for a while - you must 'act' like you are having the best time EVER. You'll be able to ease off later - but for now you need to give no excuse for them to be 'at' you.

So once they see you are not going to be a pain in the arse at their party - they will stop nagging.

To be honest I LOVE saying "sparkling water" to see the reaction. I really think so many are envious of you being able to enjoy life without alcohol. I know I was.
So enjoy them making dopes of themselves. CHEERS !!!!!

[mollyka]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Xpost Benjy....Morning...and agreed!!

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

X Post - morning Mollerooney

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

X Post again

[Guitarista]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Hi Molls, Satz and crew,

Ficks, i'd be non plussed at such non sensical reactions to refusing a donut or a boozy drink as opposed to worried. As Mary mentioned, what people think of me is none of my business. Nor should it be. Let them waffle in their narrow world of high sugar content, fake laughter and brown nosing each other. I bet they'd be the first to turn each other in to the boss to save their ever hefty asses. lol

Have a beaut sunday.

[Guitarista]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Hi Molls and crew,

Ficks, i'd be non plussed at such non sensical reactions to refusing a donut or a boozy drink as opposed to worried. As Mary mentioned, what people think of me is none of my business. Nor should it be. Let them waffle in their narrow world of high sugar content, fake laughter and brown nosing each other. I bet they'd be the first to turn each other in to the boss to save their ever hefty asses. lol

Have a beaut sunday.

[satz123]

Re: International Army Mayl 2020

Need to get up & go to work soon - oh joy !!!!
It's literally 10 minutes drive and I was still late yesterday...

To me this is not a job - the pay is SO bad for what we all do - it's more like voluntary work. And if I'm honest - that's ok most of the time. Then other times I see the owners swanning in in BMWs and I get annoyed.
Put it this way - to go on the megre dole paid by the state would be an increase in wages for me.
As the Nuns in school used to say "offer it up" - meaning there's a place in Heaven for us. :haha: