International Army August 2020

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: International Army August 2020

Evening all, checking in.

[IamMary]

Re: International Army August 2020

Hey Tabbers, I was just about to knock off the nights, quietly before Satz heard me.

I dont know who Sharon Horgan is! But that hike sounds lovely, in Wicklow, you mad rebel :haha:

Stirls, we were 92 today. Population half your size, so sneaking up again here. We were in single digits! Everyone wearing masks now, has to make a difference.

Thats a the first time I heard the rain being blamed for a non erection :eyes:

[fickle]

Re: International Army August 2020

@Tabbers I totally agree and I am looking at downsizing as you suggest. Its just that I fought so long and hard through such dramas over the years to keep this house and it's saved us so many times. I feel as though letting it go is like letting go of one of those life preserver rings. It could be that letting it go means I'm free to swim to shore.. who knows! But i've got to do all the work to investigate if there is any way to keep it. I am hoping renting it out is a way to get it to pay for itself so I can move to a smaller place. Then it will be there for the kids when I go. [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] Isn't it just amazing to look back and think what a drama quitting was. All the fear about it just seems so bizarre now. I can't feel any sense of that any more. I've had a fridge full of booze left over from a party about a month ago and nothing about it seems attractive to me. But I have asked youngest to take it with her when she moves out so I can have my fridge back

[fickle]

Re: International Army August 2020

xpost Mary:hug:

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army August 2020

Morning and waves to the world.
It's all about exam results over here and there's merry Hell going on. Ads has been in the teaching malarkey 14 years so its water off a ducks back for him. Jenny teaches up to 16 year old their results are out next week and she's got the jitters............but she's only been at it two years so not jaded..............yet.

More adventures of Buddy the Manic Beagle.............he slipped out the back gate about 11pm...........poor Ads running the streets in his bare feet looking for the little beggar.

Think they're packing to go home so I'll be bacinabit.

[satz123]

Re: International Army August 2020

Morning all ....
Bye Bye Beagle .........
Jacks standing at the door saying "what's yer hurry - here's you lead" :haha:

Talk of manic - I 've trying to train Rosie not to tear across the road to the wood in front of our house.
I can hear her out there playing with the kids & sitting at the base of a tree barking at squirrels, cats, big birds, little birds, lawnmowers a favourite - anything really ....:egad:

Must be a storm at sea - Seagulls have come inland. She LOVES chasing Seagulls.

But she'll meet her maker if she keeps darting across the road.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: International Army August 2020

Evening all,
Hope we are all well. Sad to see your young people go home I bet JC. You must miss them. But they are off doing good things in the world. I'm sorry you missed out on your erection. Maybe another night.

Amazing Fickle. The kids bought a stack of wine over and left it around. Obviously I don't want it so they asked me to rehouse it. I actually forgot all about it then tripped over it one day when vacuuming and sent it on to some friends. I just pray that I never become complacent though. That's how 'Season 2' began.

Great big waves to everyone and I'm off to sleep.

[techie]

Re: International Army August 2020

Evening all,
Hope we are all well. Sad to see your young people go home I bet JC. You must miss them. But they are off doing good things in the world. I'm sorry you missed out on your erection. Maybe another night.

Amazing Fickle. The kids bought a stack of wine over and left it around. Obviously I don't want it so they asked me to rehouse it. I actually forgot all about it then tripped over it one day when vacuuming and sent it on to some friends. I just pray that I never become complacent though. That's how 'Season 2' began.

Great big waves to everyone and I'm off to sleep.

Self awareness is half the battle. Blessings x

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army August 2020

Had trouble getting on.

Got a call from my cousin this morning and when I saw who it was my heart sank.................but no, its good news. The Aunt with the virus taken to hospice care last week has recovered and is back in her nursing home........well, but tired.Worked it out she was 95 in August. Dunno what they put in their porridge in the 1920s but its working.

The house feels and smells fusty and quite frankly it honks around here because of getting all ye olde camping stuff out of the loft...............but its gone to York. :applouse:

The best, happiest and very emotional thing today..............I got to hug my little girl. We cried. I haven't touched another human being apart from Mr. JC for nigh on six months.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].............the joys of pupper ownership and the speed of the beggars.

[IamMary]

Re: International Army August 2020

Evening, so glad to hear you got a good squeeze in [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]!
I loved when my mother couldnt wait anymore.. but they are going to keep their distance again once the schools are back.
My youngest is still in primary school, its v small, 110 kids. She just found out her class room will be the school hall and is not happy. I am expecting protests, banners and a march.

Wine in my fridge regularly, Mr M. I used to hate it, but now its just taking up good real estate, annoying.

Is it somebodies birthday today?? Or is FB telling lies :headscratch:
Nothing fancy Molly, in case I did get it wrong
Dig in everyone..
image.jpg

[fickle]

Re: International Army August 2020

Good morning all
[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] yes complacency is the thing I worry about. I was feeling really fragile last night. It has been a tough week with lots of worries. I went out for lunch with some friends from work last week which was great because it was the first time in about 6 months we've seen each other. I ordered a stirfry which would have been wonderful except they drowned it in some sugary sauce.

Putting the best face on it, I ate it but knew it would bring back sugar cravings and that is very bad for me. Since I quit sugar I've had no cravings and managing my appetite has been pretty easy. But last couple of days I've woken up hungry.. a bummer because I'm usually fasting in the mornings. Then last night, being friday night and me all emotional about various worries, I could not get the idea of the taste of vodka out of my mind. Its weird, but it was one of the last sources of sugar I gave up. Prior to quitting booze altogether, it was a sweet treat. Looking back, madness.

Anyway, I examined myself, my feelings, etc and said to myself its a sugar craving. Noting I still have a fridge full of booze, including some of my old favourites that were not even remotely interesting to me, I could rule out booze cravings. So I then inspected my emotional state, recognising it as a former trigger and noting it no longer is one. As a way of self soothing I went to the shops and bought some little pots of chocolate mousse and some sugar-free icecream. After enjoying that with my daughter I went to bed. She watches really junk TV and that just annoys me.

The thing I reflected on was in the past, I had been told by someone that I had an alcohol addiction, so that is what I assumed it was. (I now know its more complex.) From many sources I heard that alcohol addiction is a hopeless and incurable condition that only gets worse as you get older. This meant that in the past, having a terrible craving meant I gave into it purely from the miserable belief that I was going to give into it sooner or later anyway so why torture myself.

Last night, even though I felt that old suffering, I didn’t see it with the same dread. In the past I have believed in my own doom and that my evil fate can only be resisted but never defeated.

Now that I have a lived experience of real freedom and know that 99.99% of the time I am completely free from any thought of it, I don’t hold those old beliefs any more. Those beliefs were a huge part of the problem.

This is the difference between this quit and all the others before it. It is the experience of so many great days living without that stuff in my life and the knowledge that I don’t ever need to go back to living with all that dread and doom.

It is important for me to write this because I actually had thoughts like “if I just have a little bit of vodka I can quit again tomorrow”. I actually thought that not once but like, on repeat. I actually had to talk to myself out loud about how “this is a sugar craving and you have had a very emotional week. You have an old pattern of comforting yourself with food or alcohol. You know the idea of vodka is an old pattern, its an old belief that it will make you feel better. You know after a quick buzz it will make you feel terrible for days. Look how long its is taking for you to get over a bit of sugar.” …and so on.

Thank god I did all that reading about the different parts of the brain and why you get that little voice urging you to drink. It really helped me in that moment. It helped me to turn to the sensible voice like a big sister and listen when it said ‘have some icecream and go to bed’.

Today I am going to put all other thoughts out of my head and plan my way out of these sugar cravings. If I have to go strict keto again for a week, then so be it. I can't afford to let myself get that vulnerable again.

[satz123]

Re: International Army August 2020

Wonderful post [MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION]. So insightful.
I too since quitting alcohol turn to sweet food as a comfort.
One huge trigger is work. As soon as I hit the desk the craving starts. I will use your story to work my way through it.

Someone once said to me "as soon as you feel that urge to eat in the evening - take off to the bedroom".
We don't normally associate the bedroom with food or alcohol (or even sex) :haha:"

This is so true - my Mammy never let us eat in bed - mice you know - so that has stuck.
Then the church told no sex unless you want babies - so I think that also has stuck ..... :harhar:


Just one simple question : do you eat fruit?

[satz123]

Re: International Army August 2020

:shout: Hey if you are reading - why not contribute - we want to hear from you.

I'm off to work :llama:

[mollyka]

Re: International Army August 2020

I'm contributing ;-) -- busy the last day or two - how's everyone? No news here - going out for lunch with the sprogs - other than that... nothing!

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army August 2020

Morning and waves to the world.

[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION].............sorry bit late with the Happy Birthdays.............I'm afraid I started the cake without you. Hope your day was the best.



[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].........different way around for me.............once the schools go back I won't be able to hug the teacher. Her school is 11-16-year-olds.............they're the biggest worry is the corridors being jammed when they change classes.

Back in the wild days at the beginning of the virus.........when anxiety was coming out my ears.......I looked over my shoulder..............by the sideboard there's two bottles of port and a couple of bottles of red. In the conservatory, there's a mass of different whiskey's from the Scottish Isles (Its Mr JC's thing)..........and beer in the garage.
Anyway the thought did arise that a wee drink would stop my jangled nerves...........who was I kidding...........the way I was feeling there was not enough alcohol on this planet that would have stopped the anxiety............it would just lead to more anxiety and the shame and the tears and the lying and the hiding ..........instead I knitted 10 teddybears like a mad woman and we get water out of the tap.