Army May 2021

[NoSugar]

Re: Army May 2021

Hi, Army. Other than here, I don't say I'm an alcoholic or an addict. I know all this person-first language can get a little stilted and overwhelming (especially in my daytime job!) but bottom line is I consider myself a person who is/was addicted to alcohol. I don't know how we can say whether is or was is correct but I'm sure not going to run the experiment to find out!!! I'm inclined to go with present tense, though, because of my experience with sugar. I rarely eat sweet things and when I do to "be polite", have the smallest of pieces and rarely get 'triggered'. However, on Mother's day we had a delicious, gluten-free cheesecake from Aldi. I had my tiny dessert and was fine until later in the evening when I started picking at the leftovers and could not stop!! Clearly, if I like the form of the drug enough, I'm still addicted! Because what is addiction other than doing or consuming more than you planned to or actually enjoyed with a feeling of a loss of control?

[techie]

Re: Army May 2021

I was never one to drink in the morning, of course I was on pain meds. However, alcohol was never my big issue. It became the eventual combination, prescribed drugs & alcohol. I too, do not like labels. While addiction is in my past, I recognize it for what it was, a dark night of the soul. I am not naive, and accept I may possess some addictive behavior that needs constant management. While I never deny that I had an addiction problem, I do know words have power. I choose mine carefully. How we think of ourselves is a significant factor in how we move forward with grace, dignity, gratitude, and self love. These are the key components of lasting recovery.

Just my take on the conversation

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army May 2021

I am what I am............it depends on who I'm with whether or not to tell my problems.
Actually just popped in to say nighty night...........so night-night.

[mollyka]

Re: Army May 2021

I am what I am............it depends on who I'm with whether or not to tell my problems.
Actually just popped in to say nighty night...........so night-night.

Me too Jackie..don't get what the angst is re. names..very proud to be a recovering addict/alcoholic and the day I lose that pride I reckon I'm in trouble...it's one of my greatest achievements...night night all..every bone in my body is aching from digging but wow it was worth it!!

[satz123]

Re: Army May 2021

Well I'm glad to see this particular conversation has sparked lots of comments. As I said I am addicted to alcohol. Apart from Nicotine I've never tried any other drug - so who knows what else I could have been addicted to. :egad:
Even when my friends were 'dropping acid' in the 70's I was too chicken to go anywhere near it. I stuck with my drug of choice ... Alcohol.

I too am so proud of what I've achieved in quitting alcohol.
BUT
I still care what label I get - and I do not like the term alcoholic. A tag that I refuse to have 'round my neck for the rest of my life.

What's the name for someone addicted to Nicotine ? The other legal drug.
I quit Nicotine 15 years ago but I'm not a Nicoholic till I die. Or am I ?

Dunno why there is a difference ......
Anyhoo both are thankfully gone from my life.

[IamMary]

Re: Army May 2021

Evening, busy couple of days so Ive missed all the chat.

I don't know what I am, only ever talk about here. Mr M commented on my last quit that he didnt think I had a problem either, but he didnt know the half of if it. I never went into it with him either. He's never suggested I drink though, plus hes living the dream now with a designated driver!

The only few times I drank in the morning (champagne + orange juice), I was on edge all day as I couldnt follow it up with another.

Off to Pennys in the morning :egad:

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Army May 2021

Morning all, 7am of a Sunday morning and I am hangover free with no alcohol in my body for over 7 months, that is who Is am, the label I give myself today.
I suppose nobody likes the label of alcoholic as it has very negative connotations. It conjures up, in some, images of someone who lost any self control, who is weak willed, a failure, someone who doesn’t have the moral compass to be able integrate into a social setting and drink like a ‘normal person’. When joe soap thinks of an alcoholic they see someone who is only steps away from sleeping on a park bench in a puddle of their own vomit and urine, having lost their job, family and friends. Is it any wonder some of us don’t wish to be labeled. AA tells us as much, we have no control, we must give ourselves over to a higher power and we forever will be labeled as an alcoholic, we may as wear a sign around our necks.
For me there seems to be a difference between people who have a physical and a psychological addiction to alcohol, it depends on where one is on that path, and it is a path that only goes in one direction. Moderation is a fallacy once we take enough steps down it. It starts with us drinking an addictive substance and this can become a habit, a place to escape to. The intake increase and over years our subconscious brain learns that alcohol easies the anxiety that it cases in the first place, it is a carrot and stick situation, we need a drink to take the edge off and yet the alcohol causes more anxiety. If we want a label at that stage then is ‘a serious drinking problem’ imo, not alcoholism. When the line is finally crossed into physical addiction, when a persons body cannot function without alcohol it is alcoholism. When it is dangerous to stop suddenly, when fits can occur if we suddenly stop, when the shakes are a constant without al, when hallucinations can happen, that is full blown alcoholism.
I refuse to wear a label for the rest of my life that deems me such a weak person, it is society’s failure to recognise that when you take an addictive substance, some people will become addicted. Take for example what can happen when one first quits and refuses a drink in a pub, people try to force you to have one like you are missing out, they tease, cajole and sometimes bully you. If you said you were quitting cigarettes or say heroin they wouldn’t force them on you, they would say well done. Yet this doesn’t happen, many prod and probe as to why you have stopped and they look at you as if you have been so greedy you can no longer enjoy al like the rest of the normal people. Is it any wonder some of us wish to keep our privacy? Anyone who has taken their life back should feel immensely proud, it is a bloody hard thing to do, as we all know, but it is our business as is who and if we choose to tell.
I am sure there are those who will disagree with me strongly but that is my take on it and I am sorry if I offend anyone with it, but that is the thing about opinions, we all have one.
Enjoy your sober Sunday folks and spare a thought for many of the ‘normal people’ waking up later this morning, head still stuck to the pillow with a shi**y hangover and feel proud.

[mollyka]

Re: Army May 2021

Well two points I would make..#1..the reason imo that addiction to nicotine is different is that it doesn't cause behavioural changes per se...and if I smoke again I would consider myself weak..I have given myself control over alcohol and tobacco..so only am I not weak..I am so strong.

#2...I always go back to it..my counsellor in treatment ..what an amazing man..and as they say a pillar of his community...he told me he would happily have 'I am an alcoholic ' tattoed on his forehead if his sobriety required it..so would I....truly!

[rustop59]

Re: Army May 2021

Good morning Tabs and all to come. Totally agree with you, wonderful words. Just because we did not fit into the stereotypical alcoholic profile does not mean that we did not have a problem. That is why MWO appealed to so many of us and as you say it is our business who and if we choose to tell in real life. Most people don’t care anyways.

Enjoying a sober early morning, here in bed reading in a quiet house, bliss. Got loads done in the garden yesterday despite the rain and today does not look too bad.

[mollyka]

Re: Army May 2021

Good morning Tabs and all to come. Totally agree with you, wonderful words. Just because we did not fit into the stereotypical alcoholic profile does not mean that we did not have a problem. That is why MWO appealed to so many of us and as you say it is our business who and if we choose to tell in real life. Most people don’t care anyways.

Enjoying a sober early morning, here in bed reading in a quiet house, bliss. Got loads done in the garden yesterday despite the rain and today does not look too bad.

I agree that nobody cares...no one that matters anyway..there is a stigma like HIV was imo..because people used to be ashamed..now there's no shame to HIV as people talk openly about it..however I agree that it is our own business..as is what I choose to share about anything in my life...no more..no less! I've learnt the 'right' to privacy from Joe..he wouldn't tell anyone the time of day...a pal of his came into the library other day..he hadn't seen him for a while..he said he'd just heard Joe had been ill...says Joe 'you didn't tell him did you'? FFS..ridiculous man

[brit]

Re: Army May 2021

The wine is going tomorrow!! It will pay for a good holiday after the pandemic!

Feeling both sad and relieved at the same time.

I always knew I was an addict but equally didn't want to broadcast it. If it would have helped I might have shared it but would not have coped with the"stigma" But that is just me

[mollyka]

Re: Army May 2021

Good for you..and yes you should plan a fabulous holiday
I think that's the point I was trying to make..in other words there is nothing I wouldn't do for my sobriety..but also sobriety has made me a person I like much better so no i don't feel any stigma at all..the sort of people who think it is...I don't want to know them anyway..very precious these days about who is in my life!
How's the running going? Lovely time of year to get out and about..as always I'm thinking of you xxc

[techie]

Re: Army May 2021

love.JPG

[mollyka]

Re: Army May 2021

Lovely Techie -- just lovely words!

Evening all -- literally spent all day in the garden with a short break for lunch -- just thrilled with my wee garden.. and wee it is.. but that's the attraction to me -- it all just feels manageable.. but omg I'm tired -- and stiff-- and old!!!! anyway - going to have a cuppa and feet up for a few hours -- I've the horrendous family birthday week next week so need to get my act in gear...

all ye Irish folks -- did any of yiz see the weather forecast for today? and did any of you see rain? Forecast was shocking - so bad that Joe didn't go out on his bike and that's unknown -- it's been glorious here all day...

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army May 2021

[MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION]..........besutiful and thank you.
To be honest, just popping in to say good night. Haven't felt chatty and been tired all day.
A good night's sleep should put that right.