Struggling with the daily things

[Beaches]

Hi everyone,
I don't usually start a thread but today I am feeling overwhelmed.

I took my son, who has autism, on a tour, to his new classroomroom (kindergarten) today and I guess it was just an eye opener to me. The other children were sitting and following along with what the teacher was asking and my son was hopping, flapping, stimming, yelling and running around the room. He was startling the other kids and they were just staring at him. He has this thing where he has to do the circumference of a room or any new surrounding before he can join in. After the visit to the classroom we met the gym teacher and went to the library where he immediately dropped to the ground and started screaming. I have no idea why. He loves books. Another mystery to unravel.

My daughter, his twin, is going in for surgery on the 28th to get her adenoids and tonsils removed.

So I guess the day to day things are really piling up on me right now and I just needed to vent. Thank you all for listening.

[lushy]

Struggling with the daily things

Oh Beaches, I am just so sorry. The amount of patience you have amazes me. It is understandable that you are completely overwhelmed and you have every reason to feel so. I wish there was some way I could help; you know that. Ask for as much help as you can from those around you. DO NOT take this all on yourself. You just can't or you will breakdown.

Wish I could do something more for you but know I am sending you lots of love and hugs!!! :l :h

[amethyst]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, just sending hugs your way:l :l Vent all you want!You are dealing with lots of different things going on at the same time, and I'm sure you must be feeling stretched. Keep us posted about what is happening in your world. We care!

[Guest]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches honey, I know you must be tired and probably a little frustrated. It's ok to vent; but even your vent sounded tired. You need a little beaches time. You are such a good mother, give yourself a little break.
Hugs & Smiles
Mar

[ducky]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, what level of support will he receive?

We were able to have a special ed teacher near my stepson (and a few other kids who needed more help) in every class once he was a bit older. Of course we got that level of assistance by being rather assertive and being armed with knowledge of what similar children were receiving in other NY school districts. I know he is young, but will he receive some additional help when he starts school? I believe in inclusion but also think there needs to be adequate support to help the child integrate, and to help the other children understand him/her.

Hope I am not being too nosey.

Sorry it was a tough day. It is hard to see your child be so different. We still see it every day with my stepson, even though he is high functioning. He sees the world so differently and it makes it so hard on him in terms of having a relationship...

Hang in there!

[Beaches]

Struggling with the daily things

Thank you all I feel better and am calming. I thought being in the field I am that I would be prepared for this but apparently I am not. I have worked with people with developmental disabilaties for 17 years now so you would think I would be ready for anything but I have realized when it's your own child and others are looking at them in a way that you never expected...it just breaks your heart. Today I am sure will be the first of many.

However I am an advocate for my son and yes I have gotten a 1:1 aide to begin training this summer with him before he starts. Well thats on paper, I have yet to meet the person.

I appreciate all of your kind words, you have no idea how much I needed them tonight

[ducky]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, glad you are feeling a bit more calm. It is totally different when it is your child, isn't it...You will do great!

Janie, you are right. We are lucky to come here each day. It's the first place I log on to each morning, and the last each nite.

[ScoobyDoo]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, my 8 year old was dx with Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was 2.5 years old. He is now mainstream and really, just like any other normal kid. He didn't talk until he was 3.5 years. He continues to have speech, OT and I take him to a behavioural Optometrist, and he gets additional tutoring (what a load) but he is like the other kids, just a bit slower than they are. The reason I'm telling you this is because I remember all too well how difficult it is to go through this. The worry, was like nothing I could have ever imagined. Just this year, he has made leaps and bounds... the relief I cannot describe!

I remember Chris' first days at school, and also his first day at the special Ed Pre-school (I cried all the way home).

I really do understand where you're at... I'm thinking of you and thanks for posting this. You're so lovely to all the newcomers... please be sure to post whenever you feel like it.

I really do understand what you're going through!

Lots of love
Bernie

[sammys]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches your the Moma bear. With that I mean there are lots of moms who would never notice how, why or what was going on with there child. Good for you!!

Sammys
.

[Mags]

Struggling with the daily things

In many ways you have been the lifeforce of this website. I am sorry to hear how difficult things are for you and your son. You have a tremendous amount of patience and are a great mother. Your son is very lucky.
I don't have any advice except be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
Hugs for you.
:l

[gabby]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, a great big hug to you. You are always so supportive to everyone and now its your turn. I wish I could come to your house and pamper you all day tomorrow. :l

hugs and loves....

[lucky 2.0]

Struggling with the daily things

Hi dear Beaches,

I think you are a saint already, really. Sending you major love and hugs from CA.

xo,
lucky

[SKendall]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches, I am so sorry. You are a remarkable parent, and I'm sorry things seems so heavy.

We all support you.:l

[Waves 2]

Struggling with the daily things

:l :l :l :l

[nething4usp]

Struggling with the daily things

Beaches

I know the circumstances are totally different, but there is some similarity. My daughter has Cerebral Palsy, and I still 15 years later remember the days when she integrated in regular school programs, and each of the years that passed as she progressed to the next grade. I have no idea how old you are, but when I was growing up I never saw special needs people in the community, and definitely never in my classroom environments. And the only suggestion I have for you is when they first told me that she had CP...I didn't even know what it was, other than what you saw on telethons... and even though things have changed dramatically (at least here in Canada) you will be amazed how once the teachers and the students learn how it is your child loves unconditionally, and the more you can tell the teachers and his classmates about him the more it is he will be warmly accepted by them. I made a point every year of meeting one on one with the teacher and prinicpal and all other school staff that would be involved with the day to day events of the school, and made myself aware IF they had ever had a child with special needs in their class, did they know anything about CP, assured them I would be available at all times for any questions, concerns they had, worked with the therapist and all other's working with my daughter and had them come to the school to assist in setting up classroom so accessible for her, without the other students feeling she was receiving special attention. I'm not sure if your son is verbal or not...but the other thing we did first day of school every year was to have her let all the students ask her anything they wanted to....you'd be surprised how once knowing her favourite colour, much of their curiosity disappeared....it's not until the grades when the cliques start developing that the next challenges enter....in our case she did her public speaking about CP, and won an award for her efforts..and went into a city competition and placed third.
I guess the only thing I can leave you is think of all the things you asked to learn about autism...and know that those of us that know little or nothing about it, have the same questions...ignorance may be bliss - but even a little knowledge shared will place the stepping stones your son will need.

As for your daughter's surgery, you have to place your trust in the Drs and know that after the initial discomfort from the day, she will be feeling much better, and as a rule the staff on the children's ward have a real love and understanding of their fears and needs.

and if you haven't realized already - anytime anyone offers to help - always say yes
I made the mistake for too long thinking no one would do it the way I would....then I realized maybe another way is sometimes better, and if it gave me a few extra minutes or hours in the day to tend to the things that get negleted...it was a double bonus

thoughts and prayers are with you and yours and wish you the best of luck