November Army Thread

[IamMary]

Re: November Army Thread

Evening, home and shattered, its been a nutty week. Thanks for all the advise and words :happy2: We are all good.. Some privileges revoked and for a couple of week and I should at least get a clean room and the laundry done next week :lildevil: I was at the very same thing by her age, before even - so couldnt exactly lose the plot, you are right there Tabbers.
Good call on the image angle Satz, although I disagree that they are more sensible. By all accounts, they are straight onto the vodka and are blubbering messes if they make it to midnight, all wearing a tissue for a dress - its another world.

VERY positive about YS. Nothing like a few mates for support and 'belonging'.

That made me laugh [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION]!

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

they are straight onto the vodka and are blubbering messes if they make it to midnight, all wearing a tissue for a dress - its another world.

Oh God Mers - I don't envy you. I've seen some of them en masse in town ( not quite sure of the term for a group of young wans dressed in 'fanny pelmets' - a gaggle?) Your little one I know is not one of them :heart:
Only consolation is they won't be wearing that gear in a few years - hopefully it's a phase .

What I always wonder about is ......... of we'll say 10 friends at age 15 - will one end up with the lifelong problem ?
Of YS and his wide group of friends he was the one that it took hold of.
Is it a lottery ?
All the rest are now in various stages of relationships, careers, married with kids etc.
He has been left behind.

I try to figure out why but I can't.

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

Oh God Mers - I don't envy you. I've seen them en masse in town ( not quite sure of the term for a group of young wans dressed in 'fanny pelmets' - a gaggle?)
Only consolation is they won't be wearing that gear in a few years - hopefully it's a phase .

What I always wonder about is ......... of we'll say 10 friends at age 15 - will one end up with the lifelong problem ?
Of YS and his wide group of friends he was the one that it took hold of.
Is it a lottery ?
All the rest are now in various stages of relationships, careers, married with kids etc.
He has been left behind.

I try to figure out why but I can't.

It was good for you to see YS in situ -- it's right to be sceptical to save your own sanity - but hopefully he's going to make it this time... some do -- some don't -- this may be his time.

With regard to the 'friends' -- got me thinking -- over many years I may have gathered about 20 people around me -- not all at the same time -- but going through them one by one -- at least 3 definitely had a problem -- like a proper problem -- I would say another 5 definitely drank to excess -- and some still do -- but I s'pose it depends who's around you -- my BIL and SIL both drink more than I ever drank -- but they facilitate eachother as do their children -- so their 'problem' was a lesser instance than mine.. and a few people fell into that category. Another category were people like Joe actually -- 3 of them were children of addicts (including Joe) and all 3 were adamant that they would be different -- they would not be addicts --- so they spent so many waking hours 'controlling' their drinking - imo to the detriment of the rest of their lives -- none of the 3 'successfully' drank normally ---BUT -- would not have been considered to have a 'problem'

lord jaysus I'm glad I don't drink.

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

All the rest are now in various stages of relationships, careers, married with kids etc.
He has been left behind.

I try to figure out why but I can't.

On that note -- my eldest had a pal - there were a big group of them that hung out together - all big boozers in their time -- loved a good old session - but like that -- they moved along -- most of them with families -- certainly with partners and houses and moving up in their jobs -- but the pal --- she preferred drinking -- so she ran out of pals here -- and went to Australia -- I don't know for sure but I'm guessing things went a bit belly up over there cos she ran out of drinking buddies over there too and came back home about 2 years ago.... she has completely and utterly turned her life around -- she's in a good job - back in touch with her old pals - buying a house... unbelievable stuff -- dunno if you remember Benjy -- but when we were over in Noooooocastle with Jacks - I was telling yiz a story on a bus about how I always thought my lad should have ended up with a certain girl -- well that is she....(not that they're together!!)

and in answer to your question - is it a lottery? yeah I think so... but -- place most of us in a different family/group of friends -- we could be still out there being utterly dysfunctional..

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

It was good for you to see YS in situ -- it's right to be sceptical to save your own sanity - but hopefully he's going to make it this time... some do -- some don't -- this may be his time.

lord jaysus I'm glad I don't drink.

I laughed at that last line Molls :haha:
But agree 100% it's f*cking exhausting just thinking about it - the chaos of a life devoted to drink.

On that note. I went up to my mother's house with YS away and holy Jesus the mess of the house. The alarm was down off the wall & the fuse board exposed when the box covering it fell down.
Asked about this - was told by YS that the alarm went off one day & he couldn't stop it - so he ripped it off the wall ???? Jesus !!!

There was old food around & the cooker was filthy. There was flies everywhere. It was a pigsty. And he had been there the night before he went in.
I'm away up there now to try clean the heaviest of dirt - so he will not be going back there when he comes out.

This is how he's been living for the past few months....

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

I laughed at that last line Molls :haha:
But agree 100% it's f*cking exhausting just thinking about it - the chaos of a life devoted to drink.

On that note. I went up to my mother's house with YS away and holy Jesus the mess of the house. The alarm was down off the wall & the fuse board exposed when the box covering it fell down.
Asked about this - was told by YS that the alarm went off one day & he couldn't stop it - so he ripped it off the wall ???? Jesus !!!

There was old food around & the cooker was filthy. There was flies everywhere. It was a pigsty. And he had been there the night before he went in.
I'm away up there now to try clean the heaviest of dirt - so he will not be going back there when he comes out.

This is how he's been living for the past few months....

They may have changed their agenda in Áiseiri since I was there - but back then - they always wanted some sort of a regime set in place before the 'inmate' went home. I was left alone cos I was going straight back into the family home.. but my lovely roommate and friend lived alone in Wicklow and they insisted on her going to a sort of 'half way house' -- didn't consider it appropriate to go back to the 'blissful solitude' of 'no one will know'.. I'm guessing they may want him to do that or move in with you for a while.... I thought it was fierce bossy at the time but in hindsight it made a lot of sense.

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

Wasn't as bad once we got stuck in - mainly just old tat hanging around & lots of dust. It's an old house so hard to keep clean.
Dead mouse behind the sofa :egad:

Yes Molls there is 'Secondary Care' that he can go to for 6 months. I've made it known I think that's something he should do.
I'm not having him here swanning around - getting up at mid-day.
And our nerves on edge thinking every time he goes out he's gone for drink. We've done that for long enough.

[rustop59]

Re: November Army Thread

Yes Molls there is 'Secondary Care' that he can go to for 6 months. I've made it known I think that's something he should do.
I'm not having him here swanning around - getting up at mid-day.
And our nerves on edge thinking every time he goes out he's gone for drink. We've done that for long enough.

Evening everyone.

You are dead right Satz, live and learn as they say. Hopefully this time is his last and you can all look forward to a brighter future. Big change in the weather. Very frosty this morning at 6 am! Got my walk in though.

Just in from work so need to get some food. Catch up with you later.

[brit]

Re: November Army Thread

Good morning, fascinating posts re friendship groups and family drinking patterns.

I have 3 daughters the oldest has 2 glasses of wine occasionally but prefers Diet Coke . The youngest hates the taste so doesn't bother with it. The middle one is another one with a preference for 2 glasses and then can leave it.

Sounds like a good plan for YS Satz, you have to look after your sanity.

I do think my wanting a drink recently is that I think no one would know and it could block out my cold miserable evenings. When I wake up in the night and know I didn't drink I am so relieved and I can cope better with the loneliness

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

Good Morning all .....
The Army is getting very depleted.
Nothing to read so I was tempted to just log out again - and I know others are the same - but I'll keep going for another while.

Seems now folk just read & don't bother to post unless they have something extraordinary to say ... it makes me so sad when I think how lively this thread used to be ... we could log on any time of day & someone would be there to chat. :sorrow:
It feels like people were braver then & posted whilst still drinking & still struggling which, after all, is why we are here?

To the few of us that are left may as well set up a FB group & chat that way?
At least that way we can be more open with each other without the worry of our lives being reading material for others ?

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

Good morning, fascinating posts re friendship groups and family drinking patterns.

I have 3 daughters the oldest has 2 glasses of wine occasionally but prefers Diet Coke . The youngest hates the taste so doesn't bother with it. The middle one is another one with a preference for 2 glasses and then can leave it.

Sounds like a good plan for YS Satz, you have to look after your sanity.

I do think my wanting a drink recently is that I think no one would know and it could block out my cold miserable evenings. When I wake up in the night and know I didn't drink I am so relieved and I can cope better with the loneliness

@brit
Hi MsA.
Yes it is fascinating regarding how some need drink & others don't. I'm sure it's all psychological - a confidence thing - shyness trying to cope with social occasions. I know the latter is why I started.
Now MsA - don't be lonely. Looking at Rosie here beside me - I think you should get yourself a little doggie.
Not as a replacement for anyone - just someone to talk to and will be delighted EVERY TIME you talk to them.
I can't tell you how much delight & fun she has brought to our lives. Unconditional love.
My DD laughs at us & says she's a 'therapy dog' - which is probably true. She has brought out the softer side in us - I suppose that would be normally reserved for grandchildren.
She doesn't shed - the house is a bit muckier - but not much.

We have a young family down the road who LOVE her and take her when we go on holiday or away for anything. Even the Daddy is taking her tomorrow while we need to go out.
Think about it - a little bundle that thinks you are the best thing ever and will greet you by charging at the door when you come in.

[satz123]

Re: November Army Thread

So now...calling out to many MIA....I know...I'm not the most regular poster anymore..but we do worry when there's no sign of ye...give a wee shout out to let us know you're okay..it's hard to keep the thread going without regulars. I will really commit to posting every day this month...even if it's only a wave.
Anyone joining me? Xxxx

me Molls for the remainder of this month & next :thumbsup:

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

Afternoon..just in from shopping and hairdresser.. getting cuppa and will post then xx

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

Good morning, fascinating posts re friendship groups and family drinking patterns.

I have 3 daughters the oldest has 2 glasses of wine occasionally but prefers Diet Coke . The youngest hates the taste so doesn't bother with it. The middle one is another one with a preference for 2 glasses and then can leave it.

Sounds like a good plan for YS Satz, you have to look after your sanity.

I do think my wanting a drink recently is that I think no one would know and it could block out my cold miserable evenings. When I wake up in the night and know I didn't drink I am so relieved and I can cope better with the loneliness

I think the 'no one will know' has to be a weak link for many of us-- but as you say --- YOU would know....but it is handy to be accountable - if you feel it may be an issue maybe join up with an extra walking/running group - or whatever -- the accountability is as simple as having to turn up!

Good Morning all .....
The Army is getting very depleted.
Nothing to read so I was tempted to just log out again - and I know others are the same - but I'll keep going for another while.

Seems now folk just read & don't bother to post unless they have something extraordinary to say ... it makes me so sad when I think how lively this thread used to be ... we could log on any time of day & someone would be there to chat. :sorrow:
It feels like people were braver then & posted whilst still drinking & still struggling which, after all, is why we are here?

To the few of us that are left may as well set up a FB group & chat that way?
At least that way we can be more open with each other without the worry of our lives being reading material for others ?

I couldn't speak as openly as I used to --- those nut jobs from the past are potentially still hanging around out there - lurking -- who knows -- one in particular put things in the public domain about my family that were confidential -- so no -- yup I would be more comfortable in a chat group on FB or something

@brit
Hi MsA.
Yes it is fascinating regarding how some need drink & others don't. I'm sure it's all psychological - a confidence thing - shyness trying to cope with social occasions. I know the latter is why I started.
Now MsA - don't be lonely. Looking at Rosie here beside me - I think you should get yourself a little doggie.
Not as a replacement for anyone - just someone to talk to and will be delighted EVERY TIME you talk to them.
I can't tell you how much delight & fun she has brought to our lives. Unconditional love.
My DD laughs at us & says she's a 'therapy dog' - which is probably true. She has brought out the softer side in us - I suppose that would be normally reserved for grandchildren.
She doesn't shed - the house is a bit muckier - but not much.

We have a young family down the road who LOVE her and take her when we go on holiday or away for anything. Even the Daddy is taking her tomorrow while we need to go out.
Think about it - a little bundle that thinks you are the best thing ever and will great you by charging at the door when you come in.

Oh I don't know -- now I know it worked for you Benjy -- but I still feel seriously aggrieved at being tied down by the dog... in a few months it'll be the first time I'd have been free to do anything or go anywhere I want to - and now I'm stuck with him... if you have spent your life wanting one MrsA -- well then -- go for it... otherwise I would think long and hard..... the only good part is how happy Joe is with him -- not enough for me to want him tho

[mollyka]

Re: November Army Thread

Had a lovely day wandering the shops - picked up some nice bits and pieces -- the kids are all bought for so could relax and enjoy -- got my hair cut as well which is a huge relief --- dentist tomorrow - then I'll be the perfect article:welldone: