Is there a Difference?
Married to a true Non-Addict
My husband likes beer. He will very occasionally buy a six pack, drink one, truly enjoy it and the rest sits there until my kids (25 and 30) finally ask, "Can we drink it, dad, before it goes bad?"
He, my husband, DOES NOT LIKE GETTING DRUNK. He does not enjoy the experience, he does not feel good when it has happened, probably 6-7 times in the 35 years I have known him. However, he truly likes a good beer.
The same with pain meds. This is a man with back problems you cannot believe. He is missing 3 lower discs. (not bulging, not herniated, literally eroded away from spinal problems). The doctors have given him the usual pain meds. They sit in the cabinet unused. I have to help him unlace his shoes and pull off his pants. However, he would rather deal with the pain than be anesthetized. My husband is NOT an alcoholic personality. He does not enjoy being "anesthetized" to avoid pain.
We, collective WE (alcoholics/addicts), on the other hand, would rather deaden whatever pain it is we are dealing with.
My husband believes it is not a "will power" issue but a difference in our brains. He does NOT think we are somehow inferior, just different in how our body wants to deal with pain and stress.
Okay. Layman's point of view. Binge vs everyday, who cares. There are those who don't do either and there are those of us who choose (because of some difference in our physiology) to deaden the pain/stress.
However, as my husband points out, that does not relieve us from the effort of trying to deal with the problem, just recognize it and firgure out how to make it better.
I wish I were like him, but as he says, I could have been born a pathological serial killer or something and that would be much worse!! (and he loves me as a drunk anyway, and is supporting me in every effort to get sober, ohmygosh!!!) My only hope is that I can get sober before I lose him..... Even the best of love can be lost through this diease.
Cindi
Married to a true Non-Addict
My husband likes beer. He will very occasionally buy a six pack, drink one, truly enjoy it and the rest sits there until my kids (25 and 30) finally ask, "Can we drink it, dad, before it goes bad?"
He, my husband, DOES NOT LIKE GETTING DRUNK. He does not enjoy the experience, he does not feel good when it has happened, probably 6-7 times in the 35 years I have known him. However, he truly likes a good beer.
The same with pain meds. This is a man with back problems you cannot believe. He is missing 3 lower discs. (not bulging, not herniated, literally eroded away from spinal problems). The doctors have given him the usual pain meds. They sit in the cabinet unused. I have to help him unlace his shoes and pull off his pants. However, he would rather deal with the pain than be anesthetized. My husband is NOT an alcoholic personality. He does not enjoy being "anesthetized" to avoid pain.
We, collective WE (alcoholics/addicts), on the other hand, would rather deaden whatever pain it is we are dealing with.
My husband believes it is not a "will power" issue but a difference in our brains. He does NOT think we are somehow inferior, just different in how our body wants to deal with pain and stress.
Okay. Layman's point of view. Binge vs everyday, who cares. There are those who don't do either and there are those of us who choose (because of some difference in our physiology) to deaden the pain/stress.
However, as my husband points out, that does not relieve us from the effort of trying to deal with the problem, just recognize it and firgure out how to make it better.
I wish I were like him, but as he says, I could have been born a pathological serial killer or something and that would be much worse!! (and he loves me as a drunk anyway, and is supporting me in every effort to get sober, ohmygosh!!!) My only hope is that I can get sober before I lose him..... Even the best of love can be lost through this diease.
Cindi
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