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January Army 2022

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    Re: January Army 2022

    Afternoon everyone

    God Satz you could be describing my in laws. The passive aggression and then the charades. Finished with all that years ago, reached my limit but had started calling them out way before that. Didn’t go down too well but that was their problem not mine. Now I have nothing to do with the majority of them. Peace. Delighted to hear about young Satz doing so well, that’s what really matters.

    Much milder this morning so had an enjoyable walk. Only afternoon to go and then work finished for week. Listening to the details of that poor girls funeral on the radio, it’s heartbreaking.

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      Re: January Army 2022

      [QUOTE=satz123;1805816]
      Originally posted by mollyka View Post


      Yes I've noticed that myself Molls. My DD used to blame the alcohol - she soon learned the straight talking was something she couldn't blame on the drink :haha:
      But for me recently it has caused problems.

      Long Story alert :

      My brother resents the fact that we (my sister & me ) outed his daughter who was stealing from her grandmother (my mother) with Dementia. She stole k's. My sister planted a camera.
      He has a huge chip on his shoulder & on the family WhatsApp group he is passive aggressive & ignores both of us & over reacts to the others to let us know.
      This went on for for about 2 years - but I finally cracked the other day. & told him to grow up.

      We are talking about selling my mother's house. It is falling into disrepair & YS living there drunk didn't help. :egad:
      After calling to the house first time in 3 years he was fuming that the alarm was broken & ancient fuse box was broken. Instead of venting that anger properly he just got more & more sarky in a passive aggressive way.
      He demanded to know how much was in my mother's bank accounts. I just couldn't take the bullying tone any more. I told him I TRUSTED my sister ( POA) to run my mother's affairs. He said HOW DARE YOU accuse me of not trusting. So when the WhatsApp group got confrontential the rest of them just wouldn't call him out. But knowing where the resentment originated I couldn't take any more without saying something.
      So that's it now - I'm officially the black sheep. My sisters agree with me but they prefer to still play happy families.
      Oh crikey Benjy -- sounds like my lot 15 years ago -- haven't spoken to them since Mum died --- be careful he doesn't drive a wedge between you and your sisters.... once money or property is involved things can get so very nasty -- is he blaming YS for messing up your mum's house or what point is he making -- he's obviously peeved that his daughter was found out - but I presume he is pointing the finger at somebody no? I have never regretted for one MOMENT getting my sister's out of my life -- and in hindsight - they (well one in particular) would fight with her shadow so I was just 'next' --- just as I say - mind he doesn't cause a rift with the rest of them and you
      Originally posted by rustop59 View Post
      Afternoon everyone

      God Satz you could be describing my in laws. The passive aggression and then the charades. Finished with all that years ago, reached my limit but had started calling them out way before that. Didn’t go down too well but that was their problem not mine. Now I have nothing to do with the majority of them. Peace. Delighted to hear about young Satz doing so well, that’s what really matters.

      Much milder this morning so had an enjoyable walk. Only afternoon to go and then work finished for week. Listening to the details of that poor girls funeral on the radio, it’s heartbreaking.
      Agree Rusters -- as I say - above... funny -- my family were always the Waltons on paper whereas Joe's all fought and barked at each other all the time -- no passive aggressive there -- but they all still talk whereas mine not... that mean nasty making digs is a horrible way of behaving -- a good row much better imo
      Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
      contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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        Re: January Army 2022

        [QUOTE=mollyka;1805834]
        Originally posted by satz123 View Post
        Agree Rusters -- as I say - above... funny -- my family were always the Waltons on paper whereas Joe's all fought and barked at each other all the time -- no passive aggressive there -- but they all still talk whereas mine not... that mean nasty making digs is a horrible way of behaving -- a good row much better imo
        Oh I agree totally Molls - mean & nasty. I've just no time for it. Life's too short !
        If I met him face to face he'd be as meek as a lamb - big eejit. We think there may be alcohol involved when he gets brave on WhatsApp.

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          Re: January Army 2022

          [QUOTE=satz123;1805836]
          Originally posted by mollyka View Post

          Oh I agree totally Molls - mean & nasty. I've just no time for it. Life's too short !
          If I met him face to face he'd be as meek as a lamb - big eejit. We think there may be alcohol involved when he gets brave on WhatsApp.
          i was just going to suggest that, meet up for coffee, just the 2 of you. I’m sure he’s mortified about his daughter and he’s hiding behind his anger. There is probably more to that story. You’ve had a tough few years with YS. You have both been hurt.
          Turn up one day, dont give him the opportunity to think of an excuse.
          AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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            Re: January Army 2022

            [QUOTE=IamMary;1805840]
            Originally posted by satz123 View Post

            i was just going to suggest that, meet up for coffee, just the 2 of you. I’m sure he’s mortified about his daughter and he’s hiding behind his anger. There is probably more to that story. You’ve had a tough few years with YS. You have both been hurt.
            Turn up one day, dont give him the opportunity to think of an excuse.
            Morning! Maybe you're right Mary..I spose if benjy can separate the 'crimes' of the sprogs from the parents ...personally after my family debacle..once my mum was out of the picture and wasn't going to be hurt I happily got rid of my sister's..I don't believe with siblings that blood is necessarily thicker than water..I would NEVER have fallen out with my mum or my own children...but siblings? I know my life is better without their toxicity and the sense of dread I used to have when they rang or called...just my lot..I think you are right Mary...but personally I need people who love (or at least like)me around me
            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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              Re: January Army 2022

              Morning,
              We're not by any means the Waltons here but thank all that is good in this world we've never had to go through what you're going through Satsuma and what Molls and Rusttop have been through
              If he's that concerned, Satz, tell him to put his hand in his pocket and make him pay to bring it to a saleable property or do it himself. ...........
              I'm not close to my brother.............there's 5 years between us and to be honest he can be a proper knob at times. I just roll my eyes. Although when my mum died we were close for a while.

              My ears trumpets have been upped a level. I'm getting deafer.

              And we heard the sad news that Ads Grandad died yesterday. 102 years old. He'd only been in the home for six weeks as he couldn't cope on his own anymore.
              It could be worse, I could be filing.
              AF since 7/7/2009

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                Re: January Army 2022

                Originally posted by JackieClaire View Post

                And we heard the sad news that Ads Grandad died yesterday. 102 years old. He'd only been in the home for six weeks as he couldn't cope on his own anymore.
                Afternoon everyone

                Deepest sympathy JC, may he rip. Sad to see loved ones go no matter what age.

                While your Mom is still around you probably will have to have contact with him Satz but as Molly said, after that it is different. You could be right, alcohol could be in the equation but they are his issues not yours so you don’t have to be bothered with them if you decide not to.

                Still no closing date for sale of cottage but I am happily deciding what I can off load down there and plan what I can replace it with here. Anyone use the Dulux paint app? Changed the colour of my bedroom about a year ago and hate it. (Daughter refers to it as Virgin Mary Blue) Its not it’s a light blue/grey/green kind of colour not the bright blue she’s referring to. The curtains are staying so having great fun trying out different colours. Think I’ll go for a very deep green. When’s the op Molly?

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                  Re: January Army 2022

                  Op is Monday Rusters have a PCR Friday tho so isolate after that...tomorrow my last day in work till March...still no keys here either but just as well..I'll need a few weeks before I'll be strong enough to carry boxes and plant trees...the seller was originally just moving in with his daughter but now he's buying in Galway so guessing he's in a chain...as I say..suits us.

                  Funnily enough when I think of it..whereas I was the problem drinker..it was my sister who got mean when drinking..fought with everyone..even tried to start a row with me while I sat beside my mum's bed when she was very sick....poxy poxy drink
                  Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                  contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                    Re: January Army 2022

                    [QUOTE=IamMary;1805840]
                    Originally posted by satz123 View Post

                    i was just going to suggest that, meet up for coffee, just the 2 of you. I’m sure he’s mortified about his daughter and he’s hiding behind his anger. There is probably more to that story. You’ve had a tough few years with YS. You have both been hurt.
                    Turn up one day, dont give him the opportunity to think of an excuse.
                    [MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].
                    The thieving happened a few years ago - I said we will NOT tell my brother, that she was an adult & not his problem. But my other gawbeen of a brother told him. We met up quite a few times since as a family - I apologised many times that he had this dumped on him. We went after her ourselves for the money to be paid back.Things were grand.

                    But now I'd say for the time YS was living in the house paying very little rent, he has been resentful, and it comes across as 'spiky' towards me & my sister. We fell over ourselves trying to be nice to him - but gave up recently as he got worse. So I think we have to just accept it. He's a prick to us .... and I don't need it - brother or no brother.

                    Meet him on my own - are ye MAD ?:egad:
                    Our families were never the closest over the years - like me & my sisters - but no I won't apologise any more that he & his wife were morto.
                    His wife didn't visit my mother for about a year in case we were there & I can't forgive that either. She may have been mortified - but it's not my mother.'s fault

                    Thanks for the input folks :thumbsup:

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                      Re: January Army 2022

                      Dulux paint app? Changed the colour of my bedroom about a year ago and hate it. (Daughter refers to it as Virgin Mary Blue) Its not it’s a light blue/grey/green kind of colour not the bright blue she’s referring to. The curtains are staying so having great fun trying out different colours. Think I’ll go for a very deep green.
                      @rustop59
                      Virgin Mary Blue :haha:
                      Blue is a cold colour ....... dark green? dunno.
                      What about Pistachio ( Dulux) - it's a lightish green - really nice. Bright - but soothing colour for a bedroom...
                      Last edited by satz123; January 19, 2022, 10:17 AM.

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                        Re: January Army 2022

                        Just got invited to a poxy (as Molls would say ) wedding. Will know the bride's father only - that's it ....
                        First thoughts. Long long day, alcohol, drunk MrS to drive home - not going.

                        That was my initial reaction - then I mellowed and will try to embrace it.

                        Haven't been dolled up for a long time (except Christmas day & I was totally overdressed :haha - my sister wore leggings FFS so she could eat more !

                        Sooooo I've lost 20 lbs since this time last year - so says I "why the feck not go all out ?"
                        Last edited by satz123; January 19, 2022, 10:27 AM.

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                          Re: January Army 2022

                          Originally posted by satz123 View Post

                          Meet him on my own - are ye MAD ?:egad:
                          Our families were never the closest over the years - like me & my sisters - but no I won't apologise any more that he & his wife were morto.
                          His wife didn't visit my mother for about a year in case we were there & I can't forgive that either. She may have been mortified - but it's not my mother.'s fault

                          Thanks for the input folks :thumbsup:
                          I cannot do that 'talk it out' thing -- I just can't -- with anyone -- for starters - if I'm talking about ANYTHING emotional or familyish or personal in any way -- I cry -- I can't not -- it's ridiculous but it's stopped me speaking up so many times when I should have - but I do get it - what you say -- some families do -- some families don't
                          Originally posted by satz123 View Post
                          Just got invited to a poxy (as Molls would say ) wedding. Will know the bride's father only - that's it ....
                          First thoughts. Long long day, alcohol, drunk MrS to drive home - not going.

                          That was my initial reaction - then I mellowed and will try to embrace it.

                          Haven't been dolled up for a long time (except Christmas day & I was totally overdressed :haha - my sister wore leggings FFS so she could eat more !

                          Sooooo I've lost 20 lbs since this time last year - so says I "why the feck not go all out ?"
                          Fair dues to you -- as you all know - not MY cup of tea but I truly admire people 'who do' weddings, funerals etc.... guessing we'll have one soon -- and it's my horror! Some of my workmates won't be in tomorrow so they gave me a lovely present going off for my op.... so kind -- I was quite gobsmacked -- part of the present was a really lovely mug with 'you're a limited edition' on it -- could take that either way

                          Sorry bout the Grandad Jackie -- did you know him well? He had a good innings anyway at 102
                          Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                          contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                            Re: January Army 2022

                            No, I didn't know him but think he would be called a 'character' but loved hearing about him. He lived on his own until a few months ago and went down very quickly. When over 70s were stuck in their houses and not allowed out when the virus hit early last year...............he ignored it. He said he'd spent nigh on five years underwater in a submarine during WW2 to be told he couldn't get a loaf of bread and daily paper from the shop next door the government could go stuff themselves. It was a bit more fruity than that. Jenny and Ads did his big shop.
                            I also found out that most of our subs were underwater around Iceland throughout World war2....................he married an Icelandic woman which lead to Ads looking very Vikingish (Is that actually a word)
                            I feel for Ads as his dad dropped own dead on holiday in Spain when he was about 14 . His Grandpa was the only alpha male he knew.

                            Molls, people like you..........hence the pressies.:hug:

                            Bit of TV then bedtime..............I start my counseling tomorrow morning and I've got a nervous knot in my stomach.
                            It could be worse, I could be filing.
                            AF since 7/7/2009

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                              Re: January Army 2022

                              Ahthat’s v sad [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], but a lovely story. He sounds like a character.
                              good luck tomorrow, you’ll be delighted once the first session is done. Plus, you’ll be able to hear them!
                              Hearing in my right ear has started to deteriorate.. I only know this because we have to do an annual medical. Still, i’m not surprised.

                              More background there [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].. forget the coffee. wide birth and it’s his loss... 20 lbs, that’s a serious drop! like or loath them, wedding invites are like hens teeth these days so embrace it and take that new body out dancing, or at least chair shuffling as sober dancing is scary.
                              is it bodyslim that you and rustop are with? My sister and her hubby started today.

                              How long will you be in hospital Molly?
                              AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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                                Re: January Army 2022

                                Originally posted by IamMary View Post
                                Ahthat’s v sad [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], but a lovely story. He sounds like a character.
                                good luck tomorrow, you’ll be delighted once the first session is done. Plus, you’ll be able to hear them!
                                Hearing in my right ear has started to deteriorate.. I only know this because we have to do an annual medical. Still, i’m not surprised.

                                More background there [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].. forget the coffee. wide birth and it’s his loss... 20 lbs, that’s a serious drop! like or loath them, wedding invites are like hens teeth these days so embrace it and take that new body out dancing, or at least chair shuffling as sober dancing is scary.
                                is it bodyslim that you and rustop are with? My sister and her hubby started today.

                                How long will you be in hospital Molly?
                                Morning all..just 3 days Mary...Covid has a lot to answer to...it's like a 5 star hotel in there....every station on the tele...3 smashing meals a day and luxurious bed changes shape at press of button...luverly luxurious 5 days the last time:welldone:
                                Off for my early shift now then finished till March...yay!

                                Laters all xx
                                Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                                contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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