Wow Day of revelations

[Guest]

Today was a hard day for me. My hubby told me his dad had started to drink a lot just before he died(two years ago). I have to say this changes my whole outlook. I thought Ken(My FIL) was a very strong man. I loved him, he helped me do stuff around the house when my hubby was at work. I never realized it was an excuse to come drink beer with me until my hubby told me tonight. I love Ken and I won't think any less of him because of that but wow! We had a discussion about faith. I was never brought up with God so I don't really believe. I'm stuggling to say anything else.


Love you all,
Marcie

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Geez Marcie,

The saying "The Lord works in mysterious ways" comes to mind right now. It is not always for us to know why things happen but somtimes just to except that they do. Try to remember the good times with Ken and take comfort in the fact that there was more to your relationship than just drinking beer. He could have gone to the corner pub and drank beer if that is all he really wanted to do. I am sure they wouldn't have put him to work at the pub doing chores, right?

Donna

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Marcie are you blaming yourself for your FIL's drinking?

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Not at all Magnum. I just never knew he was drinking like that until last night.

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Thank god!

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Marcie, I don't think it's fair of your Hubby to say such a thing. How dare he try to speak for his Father ... who is no longer with you? I just think he is being hurtful... whether he means to be or not... That's very insensitive, to both you & the memory of his Father. Cyber slaps!!>: to him!

and :d :h to you, Judie

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Marcie,
Strong people sometimes drink to excess. Don't think less of your FIL because of something he didn't share in the open with you. He probably felt free to be himself in your presence and have some beer. If that was the only reason he was there (beer) you wouldn't have gotten any work out of him!:rolleyes
Tell your hubby that you are sorry if your offering him beer added to" his " problem but you didn't know he had one. Maybe your hubby is still grieving the loss of his dad? Maybe HE feels guilty in some way?

Try not to be too hard on yourself or you hubby. Sometimes life hurts and we want to blame someone.:rolleyes

Much :h
Nancy:d :d :d

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Judie, I never thought of that until you posted. I've thought more about Ken today. He was always sober when I was around. I can't imagine he was that much of a drinker. Hubby just said he found a couple bottles of Jack in Ken's workshop. I don't think he came over to visit and help me with stuff around the house just to drink beer. He would drink a couple pretty quick sometimes, but then just stopped or drank after that much slower.

He was usually at my house to help me with repairs or building of something. He NEVER drank if he was using a saw or anything that could be dangerous. I remember one time my MIL being mad because he drank too much, but other than that never. I knew him for 15 years, I think I would have noticed a couple times if he was really a drinker.

So I'm just going to ignore what hubby said.

Thanks Everyone!
:h

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

I think you probably have a good handle on your FIL, Marcie. With hubby's revelation and your own experience, you would probably be a very good judge!

How are you doing, by the way?????:d

Kathy

[Guest]

Wow Day of revelations

Marcie,

I'm glad you had that second revelation after thinking about Ken. I am sure you are a good judge of Ken & that issue. And of course we know that "personal or character strength" has nothing to do with this disorder, if he had it. He does sound like a strong man.

I didn't get in your first post how the "faith" question fits in.

Hang in...keep thinking...Chrysa