How do you change your persona?

[NYCGirl]

How do you change your persona?

Hi adagirl,

I relate so much to what you are saying! I too am in a similar situation. My inner circle of friends are very heavy drinkers, and I honestly can only remember spending time around them once that didn't involve drinking (several months ago when I was trying to abstain). I really haven't seen anyone in about a week since I've decided that I really need to address my drinking problem. I was supposed to see them this weekend, but (somewhat conveniently, in a way) I'm actually not feeling well so I told them I'm taking the weekend off to catch up on sleep and get better.

I'm sorta waiting to hear people's reactions to that so I can start making choices about who I keep in my life. I expect that there will be some people who give me attitude about it. Frankly, I think when you immerse yourself in a world that revolves around the use of any substance to a degree that is unhealthy, choosing to pull yourself out of that environment is going to cause some people who are still in it to react negatively. I think because it somehow, even if subconsciously, forces them to think that maybe their behavior isn't the norm, is something that not everyone would choose to do, is somehow unhealthy. And I think that can be threatening to people who build their identities around being heavy partiers. I expect that I will lose some friends in this process, and I think I've really reached the point where I'm fine with that. I want people in my life who love me for me and not because of the facade I put up when I'm drinking.

I would think it's fine to tell people that you aren't drinking (or as much) because of WW or your medication. It certainly seems it's true that you shouldn't drink on that medicine anyway, even if it's not a new prescription. I personally am telling people that I'm going to not be drinking so that I can train for a cycling event I'm doing in August. Everyone pretty much has already heard me talk about it, so no one should be surprised to here that, though I do expect to get a few 'oh, one or two drinks won't hurt you'. But you just have to be persistant and stick to your guns. Your friends should love and support you no matter what if they are true friends.

Good luck with everything.

[adagirl]

How do you change your persona?

rachel28;153604 wrote: right, i dont know much, but ill give it a shot, stick to your excuse , its feasable, quite good , u will soon b able to tell if all your friends r going to try an encourage u to have JUST 1 more than u should! even tho it may effect your health, on a medical ground, maybe re assess the crowd to go around with, without having to bear your soul about drinking, just an idea, i am declaring myself MOST CLUELESS MEMBER !!!!!!

I don't think your clueless! Actually, your reply sums it up really well. I do think I'm just gonna use the BP medicine excuse (its not a lie). I still want to drink 2-3 drinks so I will just tell them it makes me drowsy if I drink too much. And, that's a great excuse because I do actually get drowsy on the Naltrexone when I drink. After three drinks, I really don't feel like I could drink more. I am either ready to go to bed or have a coffee or diet coke to stay up.

I don't think using my diet as the excuse long term would work because you know how people are when you are on a diet... most people don't take it seriously and offer you all the stuff you aren't supposed to eat/drink thinking that you can splurge 'just this time' and they are doing you a favor by encouraging you to go off and have fun for the night. The BP med excuse is better long term I think because as rachel28 said, if a 'friend' is pushing shots on you knowing that there are medical reasons you have to limit your drinking, then that's really not a true friend.

Don't you love how I have all these perfectly valid excuses for not drinking (or limiting my drinking), but I've never found any reason to use them before I decided I just don't want to get drunk anymore. LOL I used to spend a lot of time and effort trying to figure out how to sneak an extra drink or two in (like arriving early every time I go out to meet my friends and having a drink in the bar before) and now I'm actually trying to figure out ways I can sneak that I'm drinking less. It did occur to me that when I go up to the bar, I could order a club soda w/lime and all my friends would probably think it was my old standard (a double gin & tonic). Or, I could start losing my drinks, like put it down to go dancing and don't come back for it. LOL

[blueeyes]

How do you change your persona?

After reading through a number of forums here, I think you should be careful about telling anyone. The people on this list are in a real minority when it comes to knowledge of alcoholism. If you tell 3 people, you'll find 3 really different perspectives, and I'd expect 2 would be pretty uninformed, at least. Because what you eat/drink is fundamentally your business, I think the social lie is the best way to go....and as someone else said earlier, it won't take long for them to forget. But, if you tell them...they'll always remember...be careful!

[nancy]

How do you change your persona?

This is tough. You shouldn't have to make excuses to be a moderate drinker.

You don't have to tell anyone the truth unless you want to. maybe in time you will feel comfortable just saying you don't drink. but perhaps the excuses will help you until then.
Acid reflux is common and you should not drink with it.