March Army 2022

[brit]

Re: March Army 2022

So sorry to hear this Satz! Bloody alcohol. If I hear anyone asking if it is Wine O'clock yet? I will punch them--Alcoholism is so looked down on but everyone seems to think that booze is the only way to either celebrate or relax.

[mollyka]

Re: March Army 2022

I'm afraid to contact them. They probably won't let him back if he has been drinking?
He can't go back until he has a clear Covid test - so I'm hoping he uses the time to get sober & be able to go back.

I understand how you feel...but I do feel he must tell them what happened..no? Honesty is the key to sobriety...honest with others but scrupulously honest with ourselves...I learnt that in Áiseirí...if no honesty there ..as addicts we could spend the rest if our lives 'getting away' with it....it was and is very important to me anyway

[satz123]

Re: March Army 2022

I understand how you feel...but I do feel he must tell them what happened..no? Honesty is the key to sobriety...honest with others but scrupulously honest with ourselves...I learnt that in Áiseirí...if no honesty there ..as addicts we could spend the rest if our lives 'getting away' with it....it was and is very important to me anyway

Yes you're right - thanks Molls. Default was always to lie. I include myself in that.
I told him to contact Eoin & tell everything.
He agreed - but I'm not sure where the feck he is now.
I'm exhausted with it all ..... & this shaggin' Covid.

[IamMary]

Re: March Army 2022

Well hes big enough now Satz, he’ll have to get himself back on track. FFS, he was doing so well, he had it, the penny had dropped.
Hows Covid treating you?

[satz123]

Re: March Army 2022

Well hes big enough now Satz, he’ll have to get himself back on track. FFS, he was doing so well, he had it, the penny had dropped.
Hows Covid treating you?

Thanks Mers - well if he hasn't told them I've just put it all in an email & asked if they can help.
Covid is not bad - just a nice horsey cough developing and tiredness.
MrS dragging himself around - he's not used to illness - so very impatient.
Whereas I am enjoying the excuse to do nothing :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: March Army 2022

I seem to be one of the only folk on the planet who hasn't had it yet...half the library at home doing Lydia Lanquish ;-)

God I'm tired...like really really tired...must have run up and down 3 flights stairs yesterday bout 50 times...but it'll get me back fully fit.

Put in my retirement formally yesterday...gobsmacked the big boss sent me a truly lovely email...jeez I was filling up...she's the main woman with about 10 of them one grade behind trying to take her place...and tbh she's the best of a bad lot.
SO....11th June....done and dusted....53 more working days not counting annual leave...should have about 20 days cos I carried 9 over from last year....so...yeah...this is it!!!

[mollyka]

Re: March Army 2022

Thanks Mers - well if he hasn't told them I've just put it all in an email & asked if they can help.
Covid is not bad - just a nice horsey cough developing and tiredness.
MrS dragging himself around - he's not used to illness - so very impatient.
Whereas I am enjoying the excuse to do nothing :haha:

Tell me to shut up if you want benjy - but -- here we go --- addicts are like children -- they want 'someone' to take control of all the shite they have caused ( I know this from personal experience... trust me -- I was like a belligerent toddler) - and will happily hand it over and not examine the situation truly themselves -- then as soon as the shit is removed there is nothing -- absolutely nothing to stop them going back to previous behaviour cos someone will bail them out again -- and again -- and again...
So I'm not saying not to email them re. the relapse -- they need to know - so if he won't tell them - jesus - someone must -- and it won't be painless -- they don't just kiss and make-up down there --- he will feel the consequences -- and it's those consequences that MIGHT keep him sober the next time ---

My advice -- send the email if you have to --- then -- STEP BACK --- I'm not going to tell you to put him out of your mother's house -- it's what should happen probably -- but I doubt I could do that either -- but other than that --- let him fucking stew.... no food -- no money --- no 'loans' -- no car -- he has made this mess -- 100% --- there ARE no 'two sides to this story' -- no shouting or fighting is going to 'cure' him -- it would appear that what worked temporarily in the last year was that he was left to stew and it eventually DID dawn on him that that was no way for a 40 year old to live -- he needs to remember that.... anyway -- this is just my opinion -- Aiseiri could give different feedback and I would always bow to their knowledge -- but he's acting like a child -- don't treat him like one... remember -- consequences! That's a word I learnt all about and is embedded in my brain

I feel for you both -- (MrS and yourself obs) -- it's very very hard I imagine -- but like you say -- underneath he wants this -- and if what we have is so much better than the dreariness of living alone, drinking alone, thinking alone --- eventually it's a no-brainer what he will pick..... just don't make drinking or the fall-out of drinking easier for him -- he's a big man as Mary says --- all said truly with love and care xxxx

[rustop59]

Re: March Army 2022

Good morning everyone

Like the others really feel for you and Mr Satz and bow to Mollys knowledge as she has been through that treatment centre so she has probably given very good advice. Any idea what caused it this time, COVID, boredom? Glad at least that you are not feeling too bad. I have not had it either Molly but daughter is in UK this week on course so we all could have it by next week if she picks it up traveling.

Another beautiful sunny morning here and just back from walk. Trying to motivate myself to do some housework. Wow retirement is really close Molly. I have another four and a half years to go. With only working two days I’ll get through it.

[JackieClaire]

Re: March Army 2022

Morning,
[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION].............you're much more erudite than me. You put it beautifully and with kindness.
Not only are we like children when we're drinking we behave like spoiled brats.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]............remember its not your fault. You've bent over backwards to help him.

I haven't had covid either neither has Mr. JC.. Better add a yet just in case or the vaccines are doing their job.

[satz123]

Re: March Army 2022

Thanks everyone for the advice.
Molls everything you say is true. I know that. :hug:
I sent the email so that if anything can be salvaged from this mess - and in view of the money spent on this treatment - early upfront honesty from the family is needed. Saying nothing is just covering up for him. I won't do that anymore.
It's up to him now to make contact today or it will all be gone down the drain.

I do what I do in self-preservation way. I don't want him in my mother's house - but neither do I want him here. It's just too stressful.
So what's left ? ........ the fear of him on the street is real at this stage.

[NoraC]

Re: March Army 2022

Hello everyone. :checkin:

Satz - sending a big hug your way. Wish I had words. But, sounds like you are doing & have done everything that you could possibly do.

[mollyka]

Re: March Army 2022

Hi Nora ---how's things going for you? We do miss you round about these parts xxx

Thanks everyone for the advice.
Molls everything you say is true. I know that. :hug:
I sent the email so that if anything can be salvaged from this mess - and in view of the money spent on this treatment - early upfront honesty from the family is needed. Saying nothing is just covering up for him. I won't do that anymore.
It's up to him now to make contact today or it will all be gone down the drain.

I do what I do in self-preservation way. I don't want him in my mother's house - but neither do I want him here. It's just too stressful.
So what's left ? ........ the fear of him on the street is real at this stage.

I truly get all that -- and I think I would be exactly the same myself -- have you had any response from the emailed people? Or from YS? Take care of yourself through all of this -- you've been a bit sick and you need to have some self care going on here... hugs xxx

[satz123]

Re: March Army 2022

His counsellor replied from the Centre in Waterford & said he would meet the team to see what will happen.
He rang later & said he needs to go back & tie in with the Continuing Care Team in the main house & see what is the next step - he was really sorry but he cannot return to secondary care after a relapse. But get him to contact ASAP to see what can be salvaged.
I am worrying now that he has been off the radar for 24 hours & I'm thinking the worst.
He is not answering his phone or reading texts.
He is either out of the game drunk or dealing with withdrawals.

The Germans are coming on Friday - so we'll have that drama to deal with when I tell his sister tomorrow :egad:

[IamMary]

Re: March Army 2022

Your head must be completely wrecked [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]. Dont know if its a happy ending or not.. ive told you about my cousin (in the centre at the same time as YS the 1st time. Similar age too). Things got much worse before they got better. Then my aunt had to pull back. Well, cease all contact. It was awful and it could have gone either way, but hes making a fist of things now. No contact with my aunt - shes getting counselling. One brother keeps in touch.
Itll be good to have the Germans over, distraction and company. When are you free of isolation?

Im just a decade behind you for retirement Rustop!

Molly, did you say you were tired? Thats definitely Covid :haha:

[rustop59]

Re: March Army 2022

Good morning everyone

Your head must be completely melted Satz, thinking of you. As Molly said try and look after yourself as best you can. Very sad about your cousin too Mary, glad he is back on track but very hard on his mother.

Another beautiful sunny morning and walk done. Got some more logs yesterday so have to put them away and then do the dreaded grocery shop. We are going to Galway for two nights tomorrow so looking forward to that.