May Army 2022

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: May Army 2022

Evening all. I heard you call Molly dear. Reporting for duty.
Techie you are nuts, in a nice way though. You are right, life is for living.

[rustop59]

Re: May Army 2022

Evening everyone

You may be nuts Techie but I really admire you. Not many in the full of their health would attempt what you are about to. Very productive day, my BIL and SIL joined me and many hands etc. It is amazing what a cost of paint can do. Mountains more to do but definitely will be able to stay in the cottage next time I am down.

SIL brought down her kayak, think we might have to invest in a few. Shattered so going to have an early night.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Just saying goodnight and great to see couple of gentlemen popping in...now..maybe more often huh???:thumbsup:
Goodnight all...delighted you're making progress Rusters...it'll be lovely to stay in your own place instead of Airbnb...night all xxx

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

I'm here but in the throws of another YS relapse.
I am resigned that he is never going to get this. And I am growing too old to wait around for it.
Stuck between a rock & a hard place.

• Let him stay and actually never be at ease again as everything then revolves around his drinking / not drinking
• Throw him out and have him live like a hobo again in Dublin ( not the safest of places).

I swear to God I've never seen anyone change so much by picking up that first glass of wine last Sunday.
That day he went from making apple turnovers & steak dinner for him & his Dad to buying wine. Then falling in the door the following day with what appeared to be a bag of mud & empty vodka bottle..... and got the mud all over the floor & bed.
He then slept in that mess of mud & spilled wine. Got up next day & did it all again.
I have photos of his room yesterday & it's truly shocking.

He drinks to oblivion , doesn't wash or eat - just a sorry mess.

[brit]

Re: May Army 2022

Oh Satz I am so sorry, what a horrible situation. I have no words.

[brit]

Re: May Army 2022

On another subject. I had my Cardiac Angiogram this week and although the procedure triggered some painful heart spasms, the good news is that I have no blockages, and my condition can be treated by medication, meaning no surgery required.
The cardiologist recommended running!

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Oh Satz I am so sorry, what a horrible situation. I have no words.

Me neither...my heart goes out to you two as parents...should be able to relax having reared your kids...bless you both xxx

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

On another subject. I had my Cardiac Angiogram this week and although the procedure triggered some painful heart spasms, the good news is that I have no blockages, and my condition can be treated by medication, meaning no surgery required.
The cardiologist recommended running!

And MrsA That is wonderful news....xposted there o think....absolutely delighted for you xx

[JackieClaire]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning,
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]...................I'm so,so sorry. It must be like living on a knife edge. Don't go blaming yourselves he's a grown educated man. To be honest I'd have smacked him silly.

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION]..........excellent news.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning,
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]...................I'm so,so sorry. It must be like living on a knife edge. Don't go blaming yourselves he's a grown educated man. To be honest I'd have smacked him silly.

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION]..........excellent news.

But then her point is that he'll end up on the street if she challenges him and I get that....I've thought about this all morning and I can't think what I'd do....there is the extreme option of having him committed to break the cycle of drinking...but in his case that likely wouldn't work as he did break the cycle but went back to drink so the will really isn't there....if he got an amazing sponsor....could work....maybe....but #1 where do you get an amazing sponsor... and #2 would he want that? He just doesn't seem to have the 'want'.

And not to insult you Satz...but no tales from you of the joys of sobriety will work...I can say this cos I'm the same age as you...he sees us as old people with not a lot left...whereas he wants fun and excitement...I know he's in his 40's but the booze will have made him childlike....I cannot for the life of me see what I would do...I've said from the beginning it's him that needs to do it and want it...so why am I even implying that you should do anything?
Try and get him to watch Paul Merton a walk through life on BBC2...sober but talking so wonderfully about how he is now and how he copes

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning,
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]...................I'm so,so sorry. It must be like living on a knife edge. Don't go blaming yourselves he's a grown educated man. To be honest I'd have smacked him silly.

And I guess like me Jackie you're fumbling round in the dark to think of what can be done... but certainly in treatment --- education and brains are not necessarily a help --often more a hindrance because they think they know better than the 'experts' -- people who've walked the walk of sobriety for 20-30 years.... like my counsellor said to me 'leave your brains at the front door' --- and I did

[rustop59]

Re: May Army 2022

Evening everyone

Wonderful news and horrible news in equal measures. Delighted for you Brit and enjoy your runs. Satz my heart goes out to you. Like the others I am lost as to what can be done and only he can do it. Really thought that this time seeing the consequences of picking up that first drink it might be enough. He did not get much back up from the treatment place when he relapsed so maybe a sponsor is the way to go but where do you find a good one. Take care of yourself as best you can.

Another busy day here. Chicken in the oven of Airbnb and waiting for himself to arrive. Lashed rain all day but beautiful now.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Evening everyone

Wonderful news and horrible news in equal measures. Delighted for you Brit and enjoy your runs. Satz my heart goes out to you. Like the others I am lost as to what can be done and only he can do it. Really thought that this time seeing the consequences of picking up that first drink it might be enough. He did not get much back up from the treatment place when he relapsed so maybe a sponsor is the way to go but where do you find a good one. Take care of yourself as best you can.

Another busy day here. Chicken in the oven of Airbnb and waiting for himself to arrive. Lashed rain all day but beautiful now.

being completely selfish I'm really glad it was raining today -- have been thinking of my plants parching in the ground... heading down there after the party...

The situation with the treatment centre is quite complex... they have to put the newly sober inmates first and foremost.. they say it from the very first day down there that there is a relapse protocol in place to a certain extent (and tbh it seemed fairly extensive to me... a friend of mine down there did relapse but they gave her like one chance and it worked) -- so yeah -- it seems harsh but I s'pose they can't be all things to all men... I'm not saying it's right -- or wrong --- just that's the way it is..
and I really do understand how abandoned YS and Benjy must have felt...

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

Thanks everyone for the kind words.
Well I decided to have one more go at it & sent him to my doctor (who I first went to see many years ago when I was in the height of it & cried in her office.) It was over YS as it happens + the shit I was getting in work at the time. At the time she prescribed Serotonin uptake thingys - said serotonin gets depleted with menopause & stress.

Little did I know then how bad it was really going to get.

She takes no prisoners & gave YS a telling off & Librium for withdrawals.
......so here we go again.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Thanks everyone for the kind words.
Well I decided to have one more go at it & sent him to my doctor (who I first went to see many years ago when I was in the height of it & cried in her office.) It was over YS as it happens + the shit I was getting in work at the time. At the time she prescribed Serotonin uptake thingys - said serotonin gets depleted with menopause & stress.

Little did I know then how bad it was really going to get.

She takes no prisoners & gave YS a telling off & Librium for withdrawals.
......so here we go again.

Its worth a try....just SOME DAY it WILL click....contrary to popular opinion an awful lot of addicts do 'get it'....some sooner...some later...I wonder if you truly told him when sober the impact it's having on your life regardless of whether he's with you or not....some words MAY take hold no matter how many times you've said them before.

I've said it here before...but at some stage in the middle of my on/off horrible drinking...Joe said to me...and these were his simple words 'I've never cried as much as I have in the last year'....it was like he smacked me in the face...my big tough Irishman...stoic in all circumstances....definitely a turning point...how could I do that to someone I love?