May Army 2022

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning all.
Yes Rusters shitty day - cold.
Doesn't REALLY bother me but but MrS thinks the weather does it to annoy him & moans.
He loves hot sunny weather - me not so much apart from holidays.

@IamMary we are just barely back in soberland with YS after the ultimatum I gave him but not sure for how long.
I pivot from feeling sorry for him "it's a disease he can't help it "- to FFS WHY CAN'T HE JUST STOP.

If it's a disease like they tell us he can't really be blamed when he relapses ?
Can anyone explain ? If we as parents do not want to live with it what are we to do ? He will end up on the street because he's done it before - willingly.

After all these years I still do not know.

He is the worst drunk you can imagine.
When drinking he lives like a pig - no self-respect. Doesn't shower for days on end.
He goes off wandering for hours.
I could find food mashed into bed , red wine spilled over bed and floor. Empties everywhere.

I know we're not supposed to say "I wasn't that bad" but I WASN'T: I was the opposite - always over cleaning & tidying.
I struggle with it.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning all.
Yes Rusters shitty day - cold.
Doesn't REALLY bother me but but MrS thinks the weather does it to annoy him & moans.
He loves hot sunny weather - me not so much apart from holidays.

@IamMary we are just barely back in soberland with YS after the ultimatum I gave him but not sure for how long.
I pivot from feeling sorry for him "it's a disease he can't help it "- to FFS WHY CAN'T HE JUST STOP.

If it's a disease like they tell us he can't really be blamed when he relapses ?
Can anyone explain ? If we as parents do not want to live with it what are we to do ? He will end up on the street because he's done it before - willingly.

After all these years I still do not know.

He is the worst drunk you can imagine.
When drinking he lives like a pig - no self-respect. Doesn't shower for days on end.
He goes off wandering for hours.
I could find food mashed into bed , red wine spilled over bed and floor. Empties everywhere.

I know we're not supposed to say "I wasn't that bad" but I WASN'T: I was the opposaite - always over cleaning & tidying.
I struggle with it.

A lot of people have a problem with AA when they appear to say that addicts have no control over alcohol....I had a problem too...but that's not what they say...they say they have no control AFTER the first drink...and I get that....but of course they can control that .... I don't for one SECOND believe they can't...it's a conscious decision

[techie]

Re: May Army 2022

Hello Army. I leave you with this…

084CB9F6-457A-4BAC-8A67-C0C65C3C31A3.jpg

[rustop59]

Re: May Army 2022

Hello Army. I leave you with this…

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6196[/ATTACH]

Lol Techie, we are not that bad really.

You are absolutely right Molly, once we do not pick up that first drink we are ok. Very hard to understand and I feel for you Satz, you are caught between a rock and a hard place,

Early walk as travelling west to meet an architect at the cottage. Will be interesting to hear what he has to say.

[brit]

Re: May Army 2022

Good morning, feeling a bit better today as I have had my house cleaned, gutters cleaned out, gardener coming in a bit to mow the grass etc. booked someone to power wash outside.

All the jobs Mr A did in the past but if I can afford some help I am going to take it.

Hope you are all doing OK

[JackieClaire]

Re: May Army 2022

Apologies for lateness I've got stomach problems (that's the polite way of saying I got the trots) One good thing its not covid......I've done a test

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].............I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You're such a gentle soul its just not fair. The spare bedroom's ready if you want to bolt. TV and a big Easter Egg in there.

[mollyka]

Re: May Army 2022

Evening...hope you're ok jacks...you get a lot of bugs don't you?! Poor thing :hug:

One tired lady here but on hols now for a week yay!!!

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

Hello Army. I leave you with this…

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6196[/ATTACH]

:hahaha: You better believe it [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] !!

[IamMary]

Re: May Army 2022

Good morning everyone

Quick check in as I have to bring my daughters car for a service. Think you mentioned before that hubby wasn’t happy with job Mary. What would he like to do?

Thats a very good question Rustop, he doesn't know and can't make the leap in his head.
The dream was to take a redundancy package but his dept were never offered them. Anyway, he's threatening to just hand in his notice now with no backup plan so out if desperation I've hooked him up with a Life coach! Costing a small fortune and could be a load of shite but I'm out of options!

Looking forward to the architect stories.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION], that's a total nightmare, you can't live like this. Yep, it's a disease but it's still a choice and it's very hard to keep making that choice every single day. Is he sober now because your watching him or because he's desperate to get back to where he was?

Lovely dinner and walk with guys from work. Most not drinking too, win win!

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

@satz123.............I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You're such a gentle soul its just not fair. The spare bedroom's ready if you want to bolt. TV and a big Easter Egg in there.

:hug: first time I've ever been called a gentle soul Jacks. Your comment touched me. I'll :hug: it to myself.....
I often think I can come across as hard nosed / abrasive to those who don't know me well. Because I don't cry at the drop of a hat - or fly into a panic if someone is ill - I'm a hard nut. I'm not. Jesus someone has to stay calm.

The night before DD wedding last year there were lots of champagne - induced tears. The bridesmaids were in howls of laughter when I calmly said "I haven't cried since 1985" at this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFkAJ0HOWkM


Packing me bags: I lurve Easter Eggs
1103805.jpg

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

Thats a very good question Rustop, he doesn't know and can't make the leap in his head.
The dream was to take a redundancy package but his dept were never offered them. Anyway, he's threatening to just hand in his notice now with no backup plan so out if desperation I've hooked him up with a Life coach! Costing a small fortune and could be a load of shite but I'm out of options!

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]
Men hit that mid-life crisis time. All flighty notions of being a postman or a window cleaner. That's fair enough if he can make a living from it.
My daughter's hubby did too - but he was so lucky the Germany move came & he was able to get a sizeable redundancy.
It's tough on you Mers. Having got the kids reared now faced with the thought of being the lone earner is pressure & not funny. He needs to think to the end. It's not fair on you. What will he do ?

Mr M is in the same boat I was for a while - had enough but feel it's only fair to be paid for all the years service. It's a horrible place to be and you can get terribly unhappy. In my case I actually went out sick with the stress of it all and while I was out redundancy kicked in - was win/win. Tell him to be patient & it will happen. I feel employers do not want long-timers when they can get newer models cheaper. HAs he approached them with a proposal to buy him out ?

@satz123, that's a total nightmare, you can't live like this. Yep, it's a disease but it's still a choice and it's very hard to keep making that choice every single day. Is he sober now because your watching him or because he's desperate to get back to where he was?

Mers I think it's a bit of both. I think he needs a whole change of scene like was on offer in Waterford before he blew it. There is now a chance of funding for the same type of secondary care in Cork.
He is sober now but I know next time he takes up that glass I'll have to pack his bags.
I'm sorry but I hate to bore yiz with depressing talk of YS.

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

off to work :horse:

[JackieClaire]

Re: May Army 2022

Morning,
I've got IBS and it flairs up now and again. Weird how I've managed to avoid getting Covid.

Mr JC's rarely ill (touch wood) he goes a bit more exciting like dislocating his hip like he did on my birthday the other week. He's already got one hip replacement and I can see another one coming.

My SIL was at Live Aid all those years ago when she lived in London.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]............best of luck with the new place.

[satz123]

Re: May Army 2022

I'm back ....

It's tough on you Mers. Having got the kids reared now faced with the thought of being the lone earner is pressure & not funny. He needs to think to the end. It's not fair on you. What will he do ?

Sorry Mers : Read this back & had a word with meself - said "shut up & mind yer own business". At least I get in & say it before you do :haha:

[rustop59]

Re: May Army 2022

I'm back ....


Sorry Mers : Read this back & had a word with meself - said "shut up & mind yer own business". At least I get in & say it before you do :haha:

Evening everyone

All input gratefully accepted where I am concerned Satz. Mary may feel different but we are all in her corner, same for you and YS.

Having neighbours, well just a few women over for bbq. Himself fishing and hates that type of thing. Decided to take advantage of that plus daughter had the place all done for her bbq a few weeks ago so I only had the food to do. Bloody exhausted after drive back.