July Army 2022

[rustop59]

Re: July Army 2022

Morning everyone

Have a good day at work Satz. Not very nice here, grey and foggy. Have already walked the dogs even though I did not get to bed until late. Was chauffering, daughter went to friends 30th. Poor girl has had a brain tumour removed and is having chemo. They just had a bbq at the house. Even when I feel like screaming at mine I have to remind myself what her poor mother is going through.

Great to see the Gaelteachts back again this year. One of mine went every year, other one totally refused to go. Two puppies here for weekend, very cute.

Hope you are enjoying the grandkids Molly.

[JackieClaire]

Re: July Army 2022

Morning,
Waves to to our lovely [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION]

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]............why are you off to ghealtacht or is it just one of your kids?

Off to sister in law to celebrate Grandad's 92 or is it 93 up at SILs. Going to get a photo of 4 generations. Him, Mr JC, S&H and the newest addition, Alfie.

[mollyka]

Re: July Army 2022

The gaeltacht is a right of passage Jacks...most teenagers would remember getting their first kiss there!
Heading to the lake with the mob...jilly is fine...I mumble and give out here when I shouldn't...she's a good young'un but she is inclined to raise things to drama level unnecessarily sometimes....is he stalking her....mmm...I would have said yes a couple years ago but in fairness to him...he's a great dad and I feel he wants to be nearer to Tilly.

Right off we go xxxx

[starty]

Re: July Army 2022

Ok I'll bite, what on earth is the gaeltacht?

Oh I didn't realise they shared a child. Understandable that he would want to be close then.

Yes Mary, walking dogs definitely does help with anxiety, the problem I have is it comes back when I am quiet which is a bloody nuisance. I have started taking ashwaghanda as I had some in cupboard and ordered some magnesium which by all accounts is calming. Seriously hoping the HRT kicks in soon and that I don't have to wait months like some. I have the most vivid dreams on it. I just had a nap after a 7 mile walk and dreamt I was at a party with politicians (yes really) and wasn't drinking and Dominic Raab (politician) was saying it was because I was an alcoholic. I stood up and threatened to sue him for defamation. You really couldn't make it up. I woke up so shocked its taken me a while to calm down :haha:

Anyway, have a great day whatever you are doing. I will be preparing my court case with my lawyers :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: July Army 2022

Gaeltacht areas in Ireland where Irish is spoken as the first language ...youngsters in school...usually 13-17 year olds go there for up to a month during summer holidays to get their Irish more fluent..Great fun...they stay in homes so they absorb culture as well.

Hate dreaming...Good or bad!

[satz123]

Re: July Army 2022

jilly is fine...I mumble and give out here when I shouldn't...she's a good young'un but she is inclined to raise things to drama level unnecessarily sometimes.

Of course she's a good kid Molls - don't mind me - she'll be missing you & Joe for a while I'd say.
BTW we all have a drama queen ....... mine is superb at it. :haha:


YS back drinking & I'm sick to death of it.
He was supposed to move down to Limerick this weekend - had a place to stay organised - and work on campus in the University.
He has f*cked it up again.

We went to a wedding on Wednesday & stayed overnight - he couldn't even stay sober for 24 hours while on his own.
I do not believe it is an overwhelming compulsion any more. He was well able to stay happily sober here for 3 weeks while we were around all the time.

The worst part is he will sit & deny he drank / is drinking ..... treating us like fools. Then says "this is why I need to move out" "the constant accusations"
I said ''WELL what are you waiting for - I'll even pack a case for you " .............. I am SO angry ......

[rustop59]

Re: July Army 2022

Of course she's a good kid Molls - don't mind me - she'll be missing you & Joe for a while I'd say.
BTW we all have a drama queen ....... mine is superb at it. :haha:


YS back drinking & I'm sick to death of it.
He was supposed to move down to Limerick this weekend - had a place to stay organised - and work on campus in the University.
He has f*cked it up again.

We went to a wedding on Wednesday & stayed overnight - he couldn't even stay sober for 24 hours while on his own.
I do not believe it is an overwhelming compulsion any more. He was well able to stay happily sober here for 3 weeks while we were around all the time.

The worst part is he will sit & deny he drank / is drinking ..... treating us like fools. Then says "this is why I need to move out" "the constant accusations"
I said ''WELL what are you waiting for - I'll even pack a case for you " .............. I am SO angry ......

Don’t blame you. Ffs you have done everything you possibly could. Thinking of you and remember you take care of you and we are all here for you. Come and vent, write it down if that helps xx

[starty]

Re: July Army 2022

Of course she's a good kid Molls - don't mind me - she'll be missing you & Joe for a while I'd say.
BTW we all have a drama queen ....... mine is superb at it. :haha:


YS back drinking & I'm sick to death of it.
He was supposed to move down to Limerick this weekend - had a place to stay organised - and work on campus in the University.
He has f*cked it up again.

We went to a wedding on Wednesday & stayed overnight - he couldn't even stay sober for 24 hours while on his own.
I do not believe it is an overwhelming compulsion any more. He was well able to stay happily sober here for 3 weeks while we were around all the time.

The worst part is he will sit & deny he drank / is drinking ..... treating us like fools. Then says "this is why I need to move out" "the constant accusations"
I said ''WELL what are you waiting for - I'll even pack a case for you " .............. I am SO angry ......

I'm so sorry Satz, I think I agree with you. Enough is enough.

When Mr S was drinking, like you, I gave him chance after chance and help upon help until I couldn't any longer. After yet another sleepless night of worry and panic I wrote an email ending with an offer of divorce. If no divorce was required then things had to change. I would absolutely have carried through with the divorce because my life and the dogs was so affected. He knew it and things changed. I know things are different between a son and parents so maybe what I have said is unhelpful. Just thought I would share anyway.

[satz123]

Re: July Army 2022

I'm so sorry Satz, I think I agree with you. Enough is enough.

When Mr S was drinking, like you, I gave him chance after chance and help upon help until I couldn't any longer. After yet another sleepless night of worry and panic I wrote an email ending with an offer of divorce. If no divorce was required then things had to change. I would absolutely have carried through with the divorce because my life and the dogs was so affected. He knew it and things changed. I know things are different between a son and parents so maybe what I have said is unhelpful. Just thought I would share anyway.

Thank you so much for sharing that Starts. I wasn't aware that your MrS was bad. Did he just stop ? Or get help ?
YS is a complete mess when drinking.
He doesn't go out & have a jolly time in the pub and sometimes drink too much and be annoying like his Dad.
He goes to Aldi & buys vodka & drinks it alone in his room.
If we were in the way he's not averse to sitting outside somewhere & drinking. I saw a letter from the Guards with a fine for drunk & disorderly in our village main street.
I have my suspicion that when he had no money he doctored hand sanitiser to drink that. Something he heard in rehab i think. Just like someone in jail learning new tricks.

His room is now a pig sty. Plates of food debris everywhere. Wine stains on the bed sheets & he doesn't seem to see any of it. Sleeps in the bed and steps over the pieces of food.
Does not shower or even brush his teeth.

This is the same person who just 5 days ago was showering every morning , working from home from 8am, going to AA meetings then vacuumed the whole place 'cos his sister was coming to stay.
Therein lies my problem when dealing with him - I KNOW how he is when sober and the hope is always there that if we can only get him sober again that maybe THIS time it will stick.

But I am now realizing slowly that he is beyond my help - he LIKES drinking. When the opportunity is there he will drink. He will try not to but he will drink.

[mollyka]

Re: July Army 2022

Thank you so much for sharing that Starts. I wasn't aware that your MrS was bad. Did he just stop ? Or get help ?
YS is a complete mess when drinking.
He doesn't go out & have a jolly time in the pub and sometimes drink too much and be annoying like his Dad.
He goes to Aldi & buys vodka & drinks it alone in his room.
If we were in the way he's not averse to sitting outside somewhere & drinking. I saw a letter from the Guards with a fine for drunk & disorderly in our village main street.
I have my suspicion that when he had no money he doctored hand sanitiser to drink that. Something he heard in rehab i think. Just like someone in jail learning new tricks.

His room is now a pig sty. Plates of food debris everywhere. Wine stains on the bed sheets & he doesn't seem to see any of it. Sleeps in the bed and steps over the pieces of food.
Does not shower or even brush his teeth.

This is the same person who just 5 days ago was showering every morning , working from home from 8am, going to AA meetings then vacuumed the whole place 'cos his sister was coming to stay.
Therein lies my problem when dealing with him - I KNOW how he is when sober and the hope is always there that if we can only get him sober again that maybe THIS time it will stick.

But I am now realizing slowly that he is beyond my help - he LIKES drinking. When the opportunity is there he will drink. He will try not to but he will drink.

So much i recognise there....the last bit reminded me of myself...I loved loved loved drinking...and I was perfectly happy to drink on my own...the social side like Joe liked was more a nuisance to me...I could have just imbibed in my room with a good book forever!!
The living in a pigsty ....Joey had a few shocking years...his bedroom could be as you describe...and he 'lived' in the garage with his mates...empty bottles of whiskey all over the place...he was a terrible worry...BUT....he wasn't an addict...he met a girl had a baby (2 now) and settled down...he was here for the last 3 days and drank 6 cans of Heineken the entire time....happily ...ignored the wine I bought in. I could NEVER do that...and I guess neither can YS. His arrogance is astounding but understandable...he's blaming you and MrS for MAKING him drink ....yeah right!
I cannot give advice..so far out of my depth I'd be with it...but I know I'd need him gone...he's casting a deep shade on yours and MrS's life when you should be free to enjoy your freedom..your sobriety...your healthy years....can he still go to Limerick? He might as well screw up down there as with you would be my opinion ....all ...as always....said with care and love xxxx

[mollyka]

Re: July Army 2022

Oh....August .......zooooom

[starty]

Re: July Army 2022

Thank you so much for sharing that Starts. I wasn't aware that your MrS was bad. Did he just stop ? Or get help ?
YS is a complete mess when drinking.
He doesn't go out & have a jolly time in the pub and sometimes drink too much and be annoying like his Dad.
He goes to Aldi & buys vodka & drinks it alone in his room.
If we were in the way he's not averse to sitting outside somewhere & drinking. I saw a letter from the Guards with a fine for drunk & disorderly in our village main street.
I have my suspicion that when he had no money he doctored hand sanitiser to drink that. Something he heard in rehab i think. Just like someone in jail learning new tricks.

His room is now a pig sty. Plates of food debris everywhere. Wine stains on the bed sheets & he doesn't seem to see any of it. Sleeps in the bed and steps over the pieces of food.
Does not shower or even brush his teeth.

This is the same person who just 5 days ago was showering every morning , working from home from 8am, going to AA meetings then vacuumed the whole place 'cos his sister was coming to stay.
Therein lies my problem when dealing with him - I KNOW how he is when sober and the hope is always there that if we can only get him sober again that maybe THIS time it will stick.

But I am now realizing slowly that he is beyond my help - he LIKES drinking. When the opportunity is there he will drink. He will try not to but he will drink.

Hi Satz, I am going to copy and paste this on the August thread. I don't know how to quote it and don't want to miss anything