[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]
LC like everyone else I drank since my teens. I became a 'very good' drinker. Social drinking ( out of the house) until, in hindsight, the menopause kicked in when with insomnia etc., it escalated. When my kids moved on that's when it really took off 'cos no-one to answer to. It turned eventually to daily evening drinking after work.
MrS barely noticed - I was so clever to have a glass on the countertop but a hidden bottle elsewhere. MrS NEVER drinks in the house and has this thing that only alcoholics drink at home - you could be blathered in the local from dawn to dusk and you're grand.
I tried various methods to "just stop drinking at home" - but I found a life of work to home very mundane. Looking back I think I was suffering mild depression / anxiety where only a few drinks gave me the enthusiasm to do the chores of cooking, ironing, and all that shit. Never actually getting drunk - just happily merry & chilled.
The house sparkled & my meals became more elaborate.
I needed more & more to get the same effect. When wine moved to gin I knew I had to do something and tried lots of things.
In 2009 I found MWO. Didn't stick with it.
On & on till I came back in January 2012 - clicked with Molls & Jacks and others in the Army. Loved the interaction & eventually realised just drinking at weekends was not an option for me. I would have to quit completely :egad:
Stopped drinking in July '12 but decided to drink on holidays in Australia in December. Started at Dublin airport and went on for 3 weeks.
In Australia my family decided to confront me re drinking - odd because I was 6 months off it up to then - but once I'd decided to drink, my 'alcoholic drinking' was obvious to them at that stage.
I was 'raging' 'cos I had 6 months behind me but they still confronted me.
Anyway a few fits & starts in 2012 & eventually picked a date and stopped for good in June 2013.
A lot of what helped me was being bull-headed and wanting to SHOW THEM I could do what I said I would. What also helped was being 6 months alcohol free had opened my eyes to what freedom was & I wanted it so much.
In my family & social circle, drinking is ingrained so it was very difficult. Molls sent me some Antabuse that she had and they helped immensely if I had to go to something where I knew I'd be tempted - I was terrified I'd be sick if I drank. Worked a treat in the early days and highly recommended.
From day one I relished the look of admiration / shock / envy on the faces of those who were aghast that I could enjoy myself drinking sparkling water when out.
I still do to this day!
It's kept me going if I'm honest. Holidays with my sister-in-law are legendary where I'm so evil I love the fact she now gets in trouble for drinking too much & I am an :angel: Apart from that, as she constantly reminds us, she is the perfect wife, mother, grandmother, friend. I'd say I am practically sullen compared to her social butterfly ways.
I know that deep inside MrS longs for the old days where I drank to his timetable of only drinking at weekends, in the evening on holiday and never in the house.
But that ship sailed long ago.
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