Army August 2022

[starty]

Re: Army August 2022

Morning everyone,

Congrats JC with the wedding and glad it was so successful for you all!

Can I ask why you will be in the doghouse with your nurse?? I do hope all is OK :hug:

[satz123]

Re: Army August 2022

Morning all!

They went to Amsterdam about 6 weeks ago.

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] ......... to get married?

[mollyka]

Re: Army August 2022

Are you okay Jackie? Bit worried about your post?

[lifechange]

Re: Army August 2022

Morning Army!

just a quickie as we get ready to go to my guy's niece's (no idea where the ' goes!:congratulatory "Einschulung".. first day of first grade celebration.. should be fun. school celebration and then out to eat.. he's a bit on my nerves atm, but i'm sure it will all even out.. tonight all the museums are open till 2 am and we'd been planning to go out and about.. but i'm sooooo tired so we'll see..
wishing you all a lovely Saturday!!

[satz123]

Re: Army August 2022

.. he's a bit on my nerves atm, but i'm sure it will all even out.. tonight all the museums are open till 2 am and we'd been planning to go out and about.. but i'm sooooo tired so we'll see..

I believe when we are drinking it sugar coats the stuff we don't like. We tolerate.
You'll need to decide if you can put up with him long term in sobriety :egad:

Then again take care of yourself ..... tiredness can make us irritable and less tolerant.
..... so if you are too tired tell them all to feck off....... just say 'NO' I've been working hard and need to go to bed. Don't be swayed - it is important to your sobriety to be selfish and say 'no'.
Selfish is not a negative - it's just taking care of YOU !

They'll get over it.

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army August 2022

Morning,
I'm fine..........honestly........apart from being beyond tired. Just felt a bit of a tool about giving my favourite people giving the wrong information.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]................ when I said they I meant the hen party was in Amsterdam. Back in the day it was a few drinks then a night club. Haven't a clue what Ad did for his stag do.

We're now awaiting a new bathroom. They're delivery all the stuff this morning, the work should take two days and a bit starting 31st (not sure how big the bit is) and Mikey and I are taking off to a hotel for couple of days while they faff about. We went a hotel when they did the kitchen. I'll have two whole days watching daytime TV and my book and cross-stitch.

Aaaah Molls, don't worry about me I was just rather frazzled,over tired and glad its all over.

[rustop59]

Re: Army August 2022

Selfish is not a negative - it's just taking care of YOU !

They'll get over it.

Good morning everyone

Very good advice there. Apart from when drinking and we are trying to keep everyone happy, we as women need to learn to say NO more. Heard something on the radio recently when they said No is a complete sentence.

Was hoping to get some painting done outside today at the cottage but it’s damp and rained during the night. Took the doggies up to the woods early. Feet up now with cup of tea. Am sure I’ll find something to do.

[mollyka]

Re: Army August 2022

Aaaah Molls, don't worry about me I was just rather frazzled,over tired and glad its all over.

Well - If you say so --- I know we all bottled up here a few years ago cos the site didn't feel safe really -- fighting and bitching going on... got riled up myself a few times and regret some things -- but I just feel the site is much safer really - and it IS for support - so don't feel you can't open up a bit if you are bothered beyond the surface things... thinking of you xx

Morning all else... agree with Benjy -- relationships (and lots more actually) really do change in sobriety. There were things I didn't even KNOW about Joe until after fairly prolonged sobriety -- nothing sinister like -- but little things like - how unobservant he is (all the times I worried that he knew I had been drinking on the sly --- pfff -- needn't have worried!!!) - but you sometimes do have to reassess a relationship -- however -- NOT too early in sobriety either -- EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET irritated me in the first year -- if it hadn't been for Aftercare and being able to talk things out and listen to other couples talk out things I think I'd have murdered someone!!! Just don't put up with things that you now know aren't right --- doesn't have to be the biggies -- if something is driving you mad you CAN address it in a moderate fashion!!!!

It is a bit drizzly down here in Mayo today Rusters -- I too walked the dog earlier (Joe had hurt his back -- but oh my!! it's going on a bit!!!!) so just having a late breakfast and thinking what to do today. The garden is at a funny sort of hiatus -- summer things still blooming and too early to do autumn/winter planting so I'm just sort of sitting on it.

[lifechange]

Re: Army August 2022

hi again Army!

all of your thoughts reached me via energetic brainwaves today!:happy2: OMG.. the Germans. we were at the school at 9:45.. school ceremony went until 11:30.. no problem.. went to a pizzeria for lunch (everyone had a glass of prosecco to cheers, i had an OJ.. got a couple of surprised looks, but no prob).. were there till 14:30, then they said, ah, let's stop at the playground before we go back to our place for coffee and cake.:egad:.. i like them all alright but it's really hard work to hang around with people you don't really know, ask questions, listen.. mostly they don't ask or know anything about me.. great if it's a couple of hours, but their get togethers go on forever! sitting around talking, games, then finally cake.. i went out to the balcony several times to sit by myself, get some fresh air and breathe..it could be that they're waiting to see if i stay around before investing time in getting to know me..? and i am someone who maybe includes myself/gets to close/dives right in too early.. anyway, around 17:00 i said, i think i need to go (they looked at me like already?!) and an hour later we left.. i'm DEAD.. had a shower and am on the sofa for the remainder of the evening.. no museums!

how is it for you all with birthdays, etc? are they also usually all day events? in my family, we usually got together for dinner or lunch, had cake, hung out a while.. i don't know these long, drawn out days.. and i can see that they can be nice.. but i have to get used to them.. or not!! i felt it important to stay today cause 1st day of school only happens once in a lifetime.. boyfriend didn't get on my nerves at all..
speak of the devil.. have to go!
xx

[mollyka]

Re: Army August 2022

Hate them...all of them..birthdays...'get togethers' ...weddings...graduations...can I go on?! Loved them as an excuse to day drink.
Elsie...sometimes we have to appear 'rude' almost...its self preservation really..a lot of us (me for sure) drank to fit in....to be more gregarious...more fun...and without the crutch...well it can be hard. But sobriety comes first so I always set the ground rules. I will tell Joe in advance that I'm only staying an hour...or just for the meal..or whatever ...if needs be have an excuse ready so no one is upset....I think it's crucial to protect your sobriety. My last drink happened because I felt so aggrieved making Irish coffees for all and sundry in the kitchen on Christmas day. I didn't drink that day...but the grievance was there and I lifted the glass the next day....

[satz123]

Re: Army August 2022

it's really hard work to hang around with people you don't really know, ask questions, listen.. mostly they don't ask or know anything about me.. great if it's a couple of hours, but their get togethers go on forever!

@lifechange that sounds horrendous. So difficult to be 'nice' for the whole day.
My advice next time set boundaries - tell bf you won't stay for the full day.
I think it's a bit much to expect you to anyway.

i felt it important to stay today cause 1st day of school only happens once in a lifetime.

Yeah LC but it's not your family so they can't expect you to be as invested in their family stuff surely ?
Though I do remember when going out first with MrS, being dragged to some shocking events : Football matches, funerals ( on the other side of the country & staying in some old lad's house that smelled of cabbage), visiting nuns in a Mayo convent (Jesus), pretending to like horse racing - but all that soon wore off :haha:

I will tell Joe in advance that I'm only staying an hour...or just for the meal..or whatever ...if needs be have an excuse ready so no one is upset

Same here Molls. I used to get kick back from MrS "Jesus we haven't even gone out yet" but he knows now. In fact most that I go out with know I'll be the first to be gone at this stage. No excuses any more - just "I don't drink" and they know it's true that they wouldn't be there so long if they didn't drink.

[IamMary]

Re: Army August 2022

Evening.
Delighted the wedding went so well [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], I hope your recovering, the buildup and the day is exhausting, you'll need a holiday now.

I would be exactly the same as you [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], it's hard work keeping up the social image, especially when they are all drinking! Most people are wrapped up in their own bubbles, yawn. My survival strategy is loads of questions, people love talking about themselves, conversation flows!
Did you say a few posts back you were drinking zero beer? I'm always tempted but never do, afraid I'd get a taste for beer! Maybe not.

Over in my folks earlier, brother and his gang there overnight. He doesn't drink either, so there's wasn't a drop of booze around. Great craic.

All kids home now, for a change, so bed.
Night all x.

[IamMary]

Re: Army August 2022

Rustop you are dead right offering your home as a B+B. Such unnecessary stress.
Getting better at it too, slowly! :happy2:

[lifechange]

Re: Army August 2022

Good Sunday Morning, Army!

yeah, you're all sooo right.. and tbh, one of the reasons i did stay is cause noone was drinking.. aside from the one small glass of prosecco they each had.. they're basically a non drinking family which makes it easier for me! god, if i'd have had a glass at lunch i would have been ransacking the flat for more alcohol and probably would have "gone out for a walk and a breath of fresh air" to buy more.. anyway, don't think i need to worry again till Christmas!!

next thing i'm trying to decide is whether or not i'll fly home beginning of October.. i already have tickets, but it's sooooo stressful with my family atm (and has been the past year) plus the jetlag coming back always completely does my head in (though i could take a few extra days off work to get back into the time zone).. and each time upon returning home i've "decided" to drink.. i already told my mom and basically everyone else that i'm going to decide very last minute whether or not i come.. like days before.. if i don't i'll lose 550,eu.. but i think that would be better than risking my sobriety.. at that point, i'll have a good 6 weeks under my belt..

anyway, blah blah blah...

Mary, i don't normally drink AF/0,0 beer.. but out at my friend's place, she'd hidden the alcohol (of course i could have easily found it) and though i was full on food i wanted to drink.. i wanted to slam beers or wine to get drunk.. so i did the same with cold 0,0 beer she had in the fridge.. it tastes like the real thing so i think it actually helped me to have the feeling it was (prob. not good long term.. but i was desperate not to give in to the cravings)... and after 1.5 liters i was really full and sick of it and cause my head wasn't affected i could stop.. i don't know.. these next few weeks i'm going to do whatever i have to, NOT to drink alcohol..

Molly, what will you plant for Autumn/Winter? are you growing hokkaidos? do you like to eat pumpkin? one of my favourites and the easiest thing ever to grow..
JC, enjoy the hotel!! i LOVE staying in hotels.. cushy..

i hope you all have a lovely Sunday! we're heading to the gym and then to a Japanese Market.. there's fooood!:congratulatory:

[rustop59]

Re: Army August 2022

Good morning everyone

Beautiful morning here, just been out for walk with doggies. The lake was like glass , really gorgeous.

A few days in a hotel is just what you need JC after all the wedding madness. How is the training going Mary? Bet it is easier in this weather and you will have a quieter house after this week.

Do whatever it takes LC. A few people here have done it. Think it was Satz who brought antiabuse with her.

Got most of the front of the cottage painted yesterday. It has made such a difference. Need to finish it off today.