[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]
LC like everyone else I drank since my teens. I became a 'very good' drinker. Social drinking ( out of the house) until, in hindsight, the menopause kicked in when with insomnia etc., it escalated. When my kids moved on that's when it really took off 'cos no-one to answer to. It turned eventually to daily evening drinking after work.
MrS barely noticed - I was so clever to have a glass on the countertop but a hidden bottle elsewhere. MrS NEVER drinks in the house and has this thing that only alcoholics drink at home - you could be blathered in the local from dawn to dusk and you're grand.
I tried various methods to "just stop drinking at home" - but I found a life of work to home very mundane. Looking back I think I was suffering mild depression / anxiety where only a few drinks gave me the enthusiasm to do the chores of cooking, ironing, and all that shit. Never actually getting drunk - just happily merry & chilled.
The house sparkled & my meals became more elaborate.
I needed more & more to get the same effect. When wine moved to gin I knew I had to do something and tried lots of things.
In 2009 I found MWO. Didn't stick with it.
On & on till I came back in January 2012 - clicked with Molls & Jacks and others in the Army. Loved the interaction & eventually realised just drinking at weekends was not an option for me. I would have to quit completely :egad:
Stopped drinking in July '12 but decided to drink on holidays in Australia in December. Started at Dublin airport and went on for 3 weeks.
In Australia my family decided to confront me re drinking - odd because I was 6 months off it up to then - but once I'd decided to drink, my 'alcoholic drinking' was obvious to them at that stage.
I was 'raging' 'cos I had 6 months behind me but they still confronted me.
Anyway a few fits & starts in 2012 & eventually picked a date and stopped for good in June 2013.
A lot of what helped me was being bull-headed and wanting to SHOW THEM I could do what I said I would. What also helped was being 6 months alcohol free had opened my eyes to what freedom was & I wanted it so much.
In my family & social circle, drinking is ingrained so it was very difficult. Molls sent me some Antabuse that she had and they helped immensely if I had to go to something where I knew I'd be tempted - I was terrified I'd be sick if I drank. Worked a treat in the early days and highly recommended.
From day one I relished the look of admiration / shock / envy on the faces of those who were aghast that I could enjoy myself drinking sparkling water when out.
I still do to this day!
It's kept me going if I'm honest. Holidays with my sister-in-law are legendary where I'm so evil I love the fact she now gets in trouble for drinking too much & I am an :angel: Apart from that, as she constantly reminds us, she is the perfect wife, mother, grandmother, friend. I'd say I am practically sullen compared to her social butterfly ways.
I know that deep inside MrS longs for the old days where I drank to his timetable of only drinking at weekends, in the evening on holiday and never in the house.
But that ship sailed long ago.

The wedding will be over soon!
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