Army November 2022

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

Crikey that was quick! Did your MIL want the house sold?
Hopefully FIL doesn't suffer for too long..tell MrJC I'm thinking of him x

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION]

The house is now up for sale.

:egad:
What'll happen if the MIL changes her mind? Some people never settle - they think they were only there for a while and it's very hard to see them beg to go back to their own house.

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

Evening all...busy day here so just saying goodnight and talk tomorrow xx

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army November 2022

Its a bit late for me................but you're never going to believe this. Mr. JC's just back from seeing Pa-in-law. He's is awake, coherent and eating like he hasn't been fed for a month and going into the nursing home place that Ma-in-law is in within the week. He's even signed the direct debit for the home.:egad:
You could have knocked me down with a feather.

[IamMary]

Re: Army November 2022

Ah JC, he'll walk out of the hospital yet, take down the for sale sign, quick!
Fair play getting the house sorted so quickly, god we are dreadful over here, finding every excuse to delay selling :haha:

Best of luck to YS. Whats he going to do with himself all day? Can't he paint!! Being busy and having a purpose will go a long way to keep him sober. Plus, it's payback time.
I hope this is the time it sticks..

Tomorrow is the day Rustop, brushes and sand paper have arrived in the hall. Tonnes of doors there, with paint peeling off them. I also need to change the handles, which might be a step above my pay grade...
I'll try youtube first

[starty]

Re: Army November 2022

Morning all,

Early even for me today and I have the washing on :haha:

Your father inlaw seems to be playing the Hokey Cokey Jax. Must be such a worry. Did they agree for the house to be put up for sale? Seems so quick. I hope you all get some peace soon as its not easy.

Remember Chillgirl? We have booked a trip to London mid December. We are staying in a hotel in Westminster and going to see some of the sights including the London Dungeon. So looking forward to it. Not been to the big smoke for ages and as its near Christmas there will be all the lights and atmosphere to get this Scrooge into the mood

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

Tomorrow is the day Rustop, brushes and sand paper have arrived in the hall. Tonnes of doors there, with paint peeling off them. I also need to change the handles, which might be a step above my pay grade...
I'll try youtube first

Thanks Mers. Knowing everyone has tatty paintwork makes me feel much better about mine. :haha:

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

Remember Chillgirl? We have booked a trip to London mid December. We are staying in a hotel in Westminster and going to see some of the sights including the London Dungeon. So looking forward to it. Not been to the big smoke for ages and as its near Christmas there will be all the lights and atmosphere to get this Scrooge into the mood

Sounds lovely [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - something for you to look forward to. I love going into Dublin when I've nothing to do or buy - just potter. Bliss.
How is your elderly neighbour coming along ?

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

I had a drinking dream last night :egad:
Only it wasn't me drinking it was YS .......
................. in the dream I follow YS up to his room and as he leaves with a rucksack & ask if there is beer in it. He admits there is & I take it from him. He seems relieved to let it go.
It's full of bottles of Heiniken ....... that for some reason we had decided to leave in his room
I tell him then to repack the green case he came home with & leave.
The End
I swear a psychoanalyst would have a field day with what goes on in my head ....

Back to real life.
He came home last night full of what I would call self assurance. Chatty & just lovely.
So I will do my best to build up his self-esteem which was mentioned at one of the sessions we were at. As was repressed ANGER. He's the most placcid person I know. Never raises his voice, loses his temper or argues with anyone.
I wouldn't have thought any of these traits were his problem - but clearly I was wrong.

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

I had a drinking dream last night :egad:
Only it wasn't me drinking it was YS .......
................. in the dream I follow YS up to his room and as he leaves with a rucksack & ask if there is beer in it. He admits there is & I take it from him. He seems relieved to let it go.
It's full of bottles of Heiniken ....... that for some reason we had decided to leave in his room
I tell him then to repack the green case he came home with & leave.
The End
I swear a psychoanalyst would have a field day with what goes on in my head ....

Back to real life.
He came home last night full of what I would call self assurance. Chatty & just lovely.
So I will do my best to build up his self-esteem which was mentioned at one of the sessions we were at. As was repressed ANGER. He's the most placcid person I know. Never raises his voice, loses his temper or argues with anyone.
I wouldn't have thought any of these traits were his problem - but clearly I was wrong.

I have 2 people in my life like that...always appear cheerful etc. and I know in one case it is definitely a suppressed personality...and I'm very suspicious of the other...much more normal imvvvho to moan and give out a bit...clears yer head out...hopefully he's learnt that! Have they a good Aftercare program?

[starty]

Re: Army November 2022

Sounds lovely [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - something for you to look forward to. I love going into Dublin when I've nothing to do or buy - just potter. Bliss.
How is your elderly neighbour coming along ?

Well he has had a nurse come round check his meds, the housing association has fitted a key safe and I think social care and Age UK are involved. So a bit better I think. My neighbour (his next door) wants to take a step back which is right as its all consuming. So we are happy to have the number of the key safe and I still have a back door key. We will also watch for lights etc being on off appropriately. Nowt much more we can do really. One of the issues is that he doesn't make use of available services. So if he calls Morrisons the supermarket they will take an order over the phone which would mean he could get some proper food but dont think he's done that.

That is a good dream and speaks volumes Satz! Its good he has some self assurance I suppose as long as complacence doesn't follow. I always thought Mr S was laid back. Turns out he isnt either :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

Its a bit late for me................but you're never going to believe this. Mr. JC's just back from seeing Pa-in-law. He's is awake, coherent and eating like he hasn't been fed for a month and going into the nursing home place that Ma-in-law is in within the week. He's even signed the direct debit for the home.:egad:
You could have knocked me down with a feather.

Guessing he'll be taking the house back off the market then? I would imagine it would be reassuring to them to know the house is still there if or when they feel unhappy in the home?

Morning all,

Early even for me today and I have the washing on :haha:

Your father inlaw seems to be playing the Hokey Cokey Jax. Must be such a worry. Did they agree for the house to be put up for sale? Seems so quick. I hope you all get some peace soon as its not easy.

Remember Chillgirl? We have booked a trip to London mid December. We are staying in a hotel in Westminster and going to see some of the sights including the London Dungeon. So looking forward to it. Not been to the big smoke for ages and as its near Christmas there will be all the lights and atmosphere to get this Scrooge into the mood

Ah have a great time with Chill --- I so envy you a few days in London doing the whole wandering and touristy thing - NOWHERE better to do it!! (I love being a tourist in my own country -- you see it through different eyes!) give Chill all my love -- we had such fun over here in Dublin - many moons ago now!!

Ah JC, he'll walk out of the hospital yet, take down the for sale sign, quick!
Fair play getting the house sorted so quickly, god we are dreadful over here, finding every excuse to delay selling

Best of luck to YS. Whats he going to do with himself all day? Can't he paint!! Being busy and having a purpose will go a long way to keep him sober. Plus, it's payback time.
I hope this is the time it sticks..

Tomorrow is the day Rustop, brushes and sand paper have arrived in the hall. Tonnes of doors there, with paint peeling off them. I also need to change the handles, which might be a step above my pay grade...
I'll try youtube first

I would agree with Mary there Benjy -- I was at a loss for what to do when I came home first - so took to walking on the beach for hours until my head settled -- it's a very weird first couple of weeks after coming home -- hand him the paint brushes -- if I was still in Dublin Mers I'd be up to help with the doors -- as I say --- LURVE painting --

Well he has had a nurse come round check his meds, the housing association has fitted a key safe and I think social care and Age UK are involved. So a bit better I think. My neighbour (his next door) wants to take a step back which is right as its all consuming. So we are happy to have the number of the key safe and I still have a back door key. We will also watch for lights etc being on off appropriately. Nowt much more we can do really. One of the issues is that he doesn't make use of available services. So if he calls Morrisons the supermarket they will take an order over the phone which would mean he could get some proper food but dont think he's done that.

That is a good dream and speaks volumes Satz! Its good he has some self assurance I suppose as long as complacence doesn't follow. I always thought Mr S was laid back. Turns out he isnt either :haha:

Yes it's very wise of you and the neighbour to take a step back -- so quickly you could find him reliant on you -- has he no family anywhere? We have an organisation over here AgeAction -- if you have something over there like that they may go to him and explain how to make living alone easier...

Joe used to keep all his anger inside -- none of us would have a clue and then eventually it would burst out of him and we would be clueless -- it was really really difficult to live with and my BIL was the sweetest kindest gentlest critter alive but had a nervous breakdown out of the blue and apparently he was

suppressing everything... also worked with someone like that -- and whereas on a day to day basis it's easier -- long term it's awful

and certainly would feed into a potential addiction for sure!

I'm home now and glad to be -- had a lovely week with Jill and Tilly but I'm not great in other peoples houses -- love my home comforts... huge fire lighting and we getting a chinese this evening and no Max till the morning so lovely bit of peace.

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

Joe used to keep all his anger inside -- none of us would have a clue and then eventually it would burst out of him and we would be clueless -- it was really really difficult to live with and my BIL was the sweetest kindest gentlest critter alive but had a nervous breakdown out of the blue and apparently he was
suppressing everything... also worked with someone like that -- and whereas on a day to day basis it's easier -- long term it's awful
and certainly would feed into a potential addiction for sure!

Below is an interesting read. When I think of anger I think of a specific thing that you are angry about.
But reading this it seems could stem from childhood where you were always in the background - kinda invisible so as not to provoke the louder ones in the family.

To fit in or even just to survive, they have learned to silence themselves. In conscious or unconsciousways, they try to curb their own excitement and energy. As a child, they kept their head down so as not to upset an already depressed parent, or provoke an aggressive one. Their role in the family was the mediator or the invisible one,

That describes YS well. He was silent all his life & never showed anger or aggression. Unlike his mother - I just let fly when something annoys me - but now it appears I'm more healthy for screaming :haha:

5 Symptoms of Repressed Anger | Psychology Today

[IamMary]

Re: Army November 2022

Thats very interesting Satz, as Is your dream! Bet you were happy to wake up from that one!

Your a very good neighbour [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION], but he's not your responsibility. I can't remember, does he have any family?

Wish you were here Molly.. 2 doors, 2 coats, sanding and caulking! It's a big job though, skirting boards and all the architraves look wrong now... so many more doors..

Great to hear YS is back and well :heartbeat:

[starty]

Re: Army November 2022

No friends or family Mary. Very sad really. I think he might have some OCD or similar. His house is FULL of car magazines and my neighbour bought his cat some toys which are now lined up perfectly straight with equal gaps on the TV :haha:

Just been for the most muddy walk ever. Had to bathe both dogs and all their kit. Deep joy, Winter is here !