Army November 2022

[mollyka]

It's November!!!!

[brit]

Re: Army November 2022

Happy November. Raining and miserable weather here but I have decided I am going to not be miserable and count my blessings.

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

Happy November. Raining and miserable weather here but I have decided I am going to not be miserable and count my blessings.

Me too! The girls are here so heading out for an adventure soon!

[rustop59]

Re: Army November 2022

Morning everyone

Thanks for remembering what month it is and for getting us started Molly. Enjoy your adventure with the girls.

You too Satz, looking forward to hearing about the quare place. Did you find him runners? Delighted the passport was found.

Well done our Mary, saw on other thread you survived. Very proud of you.

Shout out to LC, Starty etc. delighted you back with us Brit. Hope you feeling a bit better today JC.

[IamMary]

Re: Army November 2022

Morning !! Survived a day of carnage! Seems like the unexpected humidity got half the part participants.
Having a read back on Oct too see what I missed!!

[JackieClaire]

Re: Army November 2022

Thanks for the start up, Molly.
I'm still being tragic with my cold.............I do feel crap but this too shall pass.

I married Mr. JC in November.............we're having a lovely trip out to my ear-trumpet specialist on our wedding anniversary.........such romance.
TBH we decided way back not to make a fuss. I sometimes get our wedding photo book out and we have good laugh at the fashions then.

Well done, our Mers.:welldone:

[rustop59]

Re: Army November 2022

satz123 10:20 PM Yesterday
YS very subdued today.
Our submissions were read out earlier in the day at their group therapy.
The councillor said later that people in the group couldn’t believe we were talking about the same YS they knew last 2 weeks.
Now we're worried we overdid it

[rustop59]

Re: Army November 2022

starty 06:47 AM Today
Hey guys, I am here, just going through a period of incessant worry about stuff. We have discovered we have rising damp in our house and have some specialists book to come and have a look. It will cost thousands to repair and its worrying. The cost of living rises are scary and everything seems a bit overwhelming at the mo. Still not put the heating on which probably doesn't help the damp situation.

Satz, for what its worth, I dont think you over did it. Its so important to tell it how it is so that YS can hit his rock bottom and start to come up for air. The fact that you are there, trying to support is huge. Many wouldn't do that they would wash their hands and YS could continue to living in a bubble of "it wasn't that bad" Any sort of counselling or therapy is tough because if its good, worst fears and truths emerge. Then the healing can begin which includes for you and Mr S. No way can that happen if things remain unsaid. Thats my humble opinion anyway.

My next door neighbour cooked the old man up the road a dinner yesterday and bought him some sheets for his bed (he didnt have any). We stood on his doorstep and sung happy birthday to him. She has also put in a load of referrals to Age UK, the council and a fall centre so hoping something will come of that. The housing association came yesterday to unblock his shower and toilet and put a new gate on his garden that was broken. I am hopeful things will get better for him. He looked better yesterday as he had managed a shower and shave. His house felt warm too.

Anyhow, my problems are not like his which I am grateful for. Doesn't stop me worrying though!

Hope everyone else is doing OK x

[rustop59]

Re: Army November 2022

Good morning everyone

Above posts are from Satz and Starty. Copied and reposted them from the October thread.

Satz, agree with Starty, you did not overdo it, he needs to deal with reality and realise what he has put you all through. You are wonderful parents for being there and sticking with him through all of it,

Starty - sorry you have the riding damp problem. We are all the same regarding the heat. We have not turned on our oil heating yet, just putting fire on in pot bellied stove. Things are really expensive here too. Glad your Neighbor got some help.

Welcome back Mary and well done again. How are the legs?

Got a new bed frame and lockers for the spare room yesterday. Taking the wrought iron one that is there down to the cottage. It will mean a big clear out.

Hope you had nice day with your girls Molly and you feeling better JC.

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

Morning...I really understand that sort of overwhelmedfeeling Starty...I still use the Serenity prayer...well the first 2 lines anyway ' grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference'. I sound a bit preachy quoting that but truly those words have calmed me so much over the years.... the world is a very unsettled place at the moment and it really truly is out of our control.
Dunno anything about rising damp but I spose get in the lads who know and you have your health and your hubby and doggies ....mind you...my old lad is driving me bananas!!! Anyway...sending love and talk it out here if it helps...at least we're all in the same poor house with energy etc!!

I agree with Starty re. Ys Benjy...he needs to face reality regards his drinking...what would surprise me is that any of it took him by surprise!!

Lashing rain here...thankfully got a lovely day out yesterday so will have to get the wellies and raincoats on today!!

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

[MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - thanks so much for the advice.
With regard to the rising damp = I am with you on being worried about paying for large repairs to your house. That worries me to for down the line.
Two things I'll say
1. There is possibly a grant you an get for such repairs. But being realistic you will also need funds.
2. And this is hugely controversial. There is what is called a 'Lifetime Loan' from some finance companies but you must be over 60.
You do not have any repayments- but the loan accrues interest till you die and then it's paid back when the house is sold.

Now before anyone FREAKS. Here is my own take on it.
We are sitting on our biggest asset - the house. 500k worth. When we die hopefully in our 90's it goes to the kids. One who doesn't need it and another who will either be dead himself or shouldn't be handed anything that could cause him to drink again.
We don't really want to move from the area. There are no smaller 2/3 bed houses being built here.

So the answer is to settle down = improve our house by making changes that cost money but add value in the long run
To do this we apply for a Lifetime Loan - that is making the finance company rich but I don't care - I'll die happy in a warm, modernized house. Not a cold house fallen into disrepair - dodgy insulation - no proper heating - because we can't afford to fix it. Then said house go es to kids or the state after we die.

[satz123]

Re: Army November 2022

Satz, agree with Starty, you did not overdo it, he needs to deal with reality and realise what he has put you all through. You are wonderful parents for being there and sticking with him through all of it,

Starty - sorry you have the riding damp problem.

Thanks Rusters.

And agree that riding damp is a curse :haha:

[rustop59]

Re: Army November 2022

Thanks Rusters.

And agree that riding damp is a curse :haha:

Ha ha. Bloody autocorrect

[mollyka]

Re: Army November 2022

[MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - thanks so much for the advice.
With regard to the rising damp = I am with you on being worried about paying for large repairs to your house. That worries me to for down the line.
Two things I'll say
1. There is possibly a grant you an get for such repairs. But being realistic you will also need funds.
2. And this is hugely controversial. There is what is called a 'Lifetime Loan' from some finance companies but you must be over 60.
You do not have any repayments- but the loan accrues interest till you die and then it's paid back when the house is sold.

Now before anyone FREAKS. Here is my own take on it.
We are sitting on our biggest asset - the house. 500k worth. When we die hopefully in our 90's it goes to the kids. One who doesn't need it and another who will either be dead himself or shouldn't be handed anything that could cause him to drink again.
We don't really want to move from the area. There are no smaller 2/3 bed houses being built here.

So the answer is to settle down = improve our house by making changes that cost money but add value in the long run
To do this we apply for a Lifetime Loan - that is making the finance company rich but I don't care - I'll die happy in a warm, modernized house. Not a cold house fallen into disrepair - dodgy insulation - no proper heating - because we can't afford to fix it. Then said house go es to kids or the state after we die.

Nothing controversial imo...each to their own..hate the thought of financial organisations preying on folk..particularly older more vulnerable people but like you I certainly wouldn't want to live the rest of my life in a rundown cold house. We were lucky in that we wanted to move west ..houses so much less expensive over here and the house is in great nick...and win-win we get top dollar rent for the Dublin house so that was our solution..but we worked hard all our lives...if there's money or house left for kids...Happy days...if not...they're all big and hairy enough to look after themselves ...so go for it I say!!!

[techie]

Re: Army November 2022

Happy November, Army xo