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    Topa? What's that?

    I drank my head off last night. About to leave work- get a call from the biggest alcoholic in my industry- she is very late stage (Jack Daniels from morning until night)- has no job - her boyfriend died in Feb from cancer and she got laid off from her job last June. She had a job interview yesterday and was near my office and wanted to know if I wanted to have a drink. Obviously I should have said no.
    Now mind you this woman has been calling me every day since my daughter was diagnosed with autism, extremely supportive and a lovely woman but she is not someone I should be actually spending time with. She must have fallen down since the last time I saw her because she is missing her front top three teeth and looks awful. She has no health insurance and was talking with her hand over her mouth, obviously embarrassed, and her hand was shaking from the boozing.

    We sat outside at this nice place right at Grand Central Station and I had 5 glasses of wine and she had 5 Jack Daniels (and god knows how many she had before that but that's not the point I guess right? I'll stop talking about her now).

    My husband didn't even ask me how much I had because he never would have imagined because I wasn't even that drunk so I shared a bottle and a half of wine with him! So how many is that exactly??? 9? 10 glasses?

    It was so weird too because I sipped the first one for like an hour and was so happy, even the second was slow, but in total I drank 5 glasses in about 3 hours. After the first two I was acting like my old self again. I dranks tons of water throughout and took Aleve and stuff before bed so I didn't get the horrific Topa hangover but I feel awful about this.

    #2
    Topa? What's that?

    Hey you
    We all have slips. It sounds like you just put yourself in a situation in which it was hard to moderate. I mean, I am sure we all know what it is like to have someone drinking back drinks in front of us - and there is a natural inclination to keep pace. Especially in a restaurant or bar setting where you are sitting face to face. I dont know why, but a lot of the time, I find that to be the case. Dont' see this as a failure, my friend, see it as a learning experience. Guess what? You have just learned that if you are not armed or prepared to deal with a heavy drinking friend, this may make this more difficult for you. I think any of us would have been affected.
    So, I say - get up, brush yourslf off and learn from this, it is not a waste if you can take it with you, arm yourself with the experience and learn for next time. We are all struggling with this, its not easy for anyone. So smile - we love you!
    Jen

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      #3
      Topa? What's that?

      Thanks Jenneh and Kathy- I needed that badly!!! :d

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        #4
        Topa? What's that?

        ya

        Good advice guys. Gabby

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          #5
          Topa? What's that?

          Re: ya

          wow, i've been right there. haven't consumed as much but thought the topa would miraculusly have me not pound back a bottle. uh nope not true. and then there you go bottle gone. sigh. so, no fair beating yourself up over that one girl. today is a new day
          kimber and probably good to pass on big time drinkers. i like to say i have a uh previous engagement. seems i'm saying that alot these days. lol they probably think i'm a snob. ah well

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            #6
            Topa? What's that?

            Re: ya

            That's it, Patty,
            Just learn from it, babe.
            You drank your water, you are remorseful this morning, and I'm sure you have a plan for today. You are here!
            I know for me, in days of old, when I would do crap like that, it would be even worse, with a brutal morning, then an even worse next day... just never seemed to end.
            So you ended it real quick.
            Good.
            Giddy up!
            Bec

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              #7
              Topa? What's that?

              Hi Soul-Bear,

              Nothing new to add here except my love & support. . Quilt does not help toward anything -- resolving, learning- as you know. Jen, Kathy ..said exactly what I would have said.. a painful experience with a message inside. Getting it very clear exactly what you did learn... coul d be very good. I mean maybe writing it down what the lessons were or crystallizing them somehow would be helpful. (Gee.. wish I took my own suggestions.)

              One thing that we learned while going through my baby's drug recovery -- was the first thing one needs to really get & stick to in recovery is -- stop associating with any people you used to do drugs with. This was a very huge point. Of course this is a bit different, in that alcohol is legal & she was not that close to you.

              However -- OK girls -- here comes the jaded me again -- some people are simply toxic for you & cannot be helped (until they begin it themselves). You have enough on your plate dear one. The whole scene pains me to the point of anger that she put you in that position.

              Sent you an exbox mail.

              Luv, Chrysa

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                #8
                Topa? What's that?

                I don't bear any ill will towards her though Chrys, she has no idea I have this problem and just wanted a drinking buddy is all - really was up to me to say no so I really puy myself in that position not her - and she is a really good person like the rest of us- just really messed up. Lonely beyond words. :c

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                  #9
                  Topa? What's that?

                  I hear what you're saying Patty. It is very sad, and a hard choice for you, that in taking care of yourself, you may have to bypass helping her out because it might be destructive for your own progress. That's why I didn't want you to be too hard on yourself.

                  Take care!:d
                  Kathy

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                    #10
                    Topa? What's that?

                    Very well said Kathy, much better that I did. duh! Yes and nail on the head..taking care of yourself first is part of healing ... you can wish her well, pray for her... Luv, C

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