December Army 2022

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

Crikey that sounds grim:eek-new:
I dread to think what our bills would be if we still had teenagers at home but with just the 2 of us and a smaller house it's grand...hope none of our lot start striking...

If you feel the decorations are overwhelming just keep it simple...I do my mantlepiece by foraging in my garden...bare branches..ivy..holly if you have it...few candles and just do that...a tree isn't compulsory...
Anyway...hear the hardened warriors back from their walk so must get up...biab xx

[rustop59]

Re: December Army 2022

Good morning everyone

Glad you got date for scan Starty. Pity about your trip to London. Didn’t realise that there were so many strikes. Something to look forward to in February. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Keep it simple. You have the basics, roof over your head, pups and each other.

Like you Molly, we have been careful not running the heat constantly but keep fire lit in stove. Daughter complains but I just tell her collection box on counter if she wants to contribute more. Feel for you with a houseful of them Mary. Have not been down to cottage in weeks. Think we would be pushing it with this cold.

Well done Satz, you do what’s right for you and good idea putting 6 month review date on it. I’m one of the hardy folk back from my walk. Going to put stew in slow cooker and then I have a list of things to get through.

[satz123]

Re: December Army 2022

Afternoon folks.

Good to hear your MrS has an appointment [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - maybe get clarity on what ye are dealing with hopefully

God ye have it bad over there Starts :heart: Sounds like something from war time :egad:
My electricity bill is about €220 a month - that's twice what I was paying last year. But this month with a refund €200 from the government of the income tax I've paid for 50 years, I've only to pay €16.95 - happy days. :yay:

Cynical - moi ???

Now you couldn't make this up - The teachers are on the warpath that the minister for education is withdrawing their entitlement to leave of absence.
This is fair enough I suppose in a crisis of shortages of teachers.
But the best bit of this is they asked for a statement from the Education Minister but she is on leave of absence ....... Jesus !!!! :haha:
.

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

Afternoon folks.

Good to hear your MrS has an appointment [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - maybe get clarity on what ye are dealing with hopefully

God ye have it bad over there Starts :heart: Sounds like something from war time :egad:
My electricity bill is about €220 a month - that's twice what I was paying last year. But this month with a refund €200 from the government of the income tax I've paid for 50 years, I've only to pay €16.95 - happy days. :yay:

Cynical - moi ???

Now you couldn't make this up - The teachers are on the warpath that the minister for education is withdrawing their entitlement to leave of absence.
This is fair enough I suppose in a crisis of shortages of teachers.
But the best bit of this is they asked for a statement from the Education Minister but she is on leave of absence ....... Jesus !!!! :haha:
.

How does it even surprise you Benjy? FF and FG will never ever EVER get my vote!!
Finished my Christmas shopping today ...had a lovely day all on my own..yeah heard on the radio in car that we have the best growth in the EU so plenty of lolly in the country now if they'd just build a few old houses! Saw petrol at 1.50 a litre so even that's coming down ptl!

[IamMary]

Re: December Army 2022

Evening.. my dad and sister are/ were teachers, sister on leave of absence.. she’ll retire if asked to come back, so doesnt really affect her. But until then, another teacher cant fill her job, so its just temporary positions. Its no wonder the teachers are leaving to work abroad. Its now over 500 points to do teaching in St Pats, would you be bothered!

Your Christmas sounds perfect Starts. Good to hear Mr S has a scan date.

Airfryer arrived. Army peer pressure:haha:

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

Evening.. my dad and sister are/ were teachers, sister on leave of absence.. she’ll retire if asked to come back, so doesnt really affect her. But until then, another teacher cant fill her job, so its just temporary positions. Its no wonder the teachers are leaving to work abroad. Its now over 500 points to do teaching in St Pats, would you be bothered!

Your Christmas sounds perfect Starts. Good to hear Mr S has a scan date.

Airfryer arrived. Army peer pressure:haha:

Jaysus I haven't gotten one yet???? Did you get the double one?

[satz123]

Re: December Army 2022

Evening.. my dad and sister are/ were teachers, sister on leave of absence.. she’ll retire if asked to come back, so doesnt really affect her. But until then, another teacher cant fill her job, so its just temporary positions. Its no wonder the teachers are leaving to work abroad. Its now over 500 points to do teaching in St Pats, would you be bothered!

But that's the point Mers - no permanent jobs for those ready to settle in Ireland and maybe buy a house. Can't get a mortgage if in a temp position.
Seems very unfair to me to hold open a job for up to 5 years - and hindering anyone else getting it ?

There are almost 3000 teachers on Career Break in this country. That's 3000 jobs being held open. A lot of them are working in the Middle East.
My niece is fully qualified but has to traipse around doing temp jobs.

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

But that's the point Mers - no permanent jobs for those ready to settle in Ireland and maybe buy a house. Can't get a mortgage if in a temp position.
Seems very unfair to me to hold open a job for up to 5 years - and hindering anyone else getting it ?

There are almost 3000 teachers on Career Break in this country. That's 3000 jobs being held open. A lot of them are working in the Middle East.
My niece is fully qualified but has to traipse around doing temp jobs.

Jill was 4 years trying to get a permanent position...doesn't sound long but she couldn't get a mortgage all that time and tbh she was just on the right place at the right time to get the job she has now. It's absolutely bonkers.

[satz123]

Re: December Army 2022

Meanwhile Chez Satz young Satz, despite aftercare and regular AA meetings, has relapsed again. Took a drink on Sunday last. Is still functional & not 'mad' drunk but that will come :
MrS confiscated an Aldi bag he hid at side of the house with 3 bottles of red wine & a bottle of vodka last night when he came home from an AA meeting he said he went to (!)
Whether that was to drink last night ( in which case he's be dead) or to tide him over the really bad weather we are expecting - I dunno.

MrS did his usual very angry & aggressive roaring & shouting & telling him what a loser he is. I said nothing.

That's it really - we are back to square one. I really think he has some kind of mental issue - anxiety - that makes him want to drink to literally 'get out of his head' and relax / forget.

[IamMary]

Re: December Army 2022

I completely agree [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] and molly, on the teachers, it's bonkers! That's what I meant - it's no wonder our teachers are leaving. Even if they offered a 1 year leave of absence, like most industries. 5 is ridiculous.
My sister has no intention of going back, but the dept of Ed. highly encouraged her to take the full 5 years before she gave up her post.
Apparently one of the worst departments to reform, they refuse to budge.

Gutted to hear about YS. No words Satz.
How are you doing?

[rustop59]

Re: December Army 2022

I

Gutted to hear about YS. No words Satz.
How are you doing?

Good morning everyone

Gutted here too. My heart goes out to you. Try and take care of yourself, that’s all you can do. As you say there seems to be some mental block there. We are here for you if you want to come on and rant or tease things out.

I took a two year career break when I had my second daughter and extended it to 5 when we went to Canada. They did not keep my job per se free but would have had to take me back in some capacity. It was a nice option to have at the time. Did not realise that was the situation with the teachers.

Very frosty last night but no snow. Walk done, now the dreaded grocery shop.

[starty]

Re: December Army 2022

Im so sorry Satz, its an impossible situation you're in.

Baltic day today. Inlaws coming for lunch. Be interesting to see if I can hold my tongue, they haven't called since Mr S diagnosis (apart from a computer issue) and I am angry.

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

Meanwhile Chez Satz young Satz, despite aftercare and regular AA meetings, has relapsed again. Took a drink on Sunday last. Is still functional & not 'mad' drunk but that will come :
MrS confiscated an Aldi bag he hid at side of the house with 3 bottles of red wine & a bottle of vodka last night when he came home from an AA meeting he said he went to (!)
Whether that was to drink last night ( in which case he's be dead) or to tide him over the really bad weather we are expecting - I dunno.

MrS did his usual very angry & aggressive roaring & shouting & telling him what a loser he is. I said nothing.

That's it really - we are back to square one. I really think he has some kind of mental issue - anxiety - that makes him want to drink to literally 'get out of his head' and relax / forget.

I'm after getting out the laptop so WARNING -- this could be long -- pass on by if bored.....


Right -- first of all -- OF COURSE my heart goes out to you -- fucking horrible awful and apparently inexplicable....

but

Where you say
'I really think he has some kind of mental issue - anxiety - that makes him want to drink to literally 'get out of his head' and relax / forget.' --- it was like a 'feck me' moment -- I'd forgotten -- that's what Adam said to me on that shit awful last day of drinking... but I knew differently --
now where I will differentiate between a young(ish) male like YS and a middle-aged (as I was) woman and mother like me is that by essence - our life styles -- the people in our lives meant that a 'rock bottom' would be two totally different scenario's.
I know for a fact that my 'rock bottom' day leading to sobriety was in no way shape or form as bad as last night (or this morning -- dunno which) in your house Benjy -- my kids were cross and confused and generally dis-enchanted with their mum and Joe just rolled his eyes -- but it was enough for me -- I was so proud in myself - so determined to be seen as a great mother - wife - house minder -- employee - that that day was more than enough of a rock bottom for me.

Who knows what Ys's rock bottom is? He knows emotionally (and fully understandably) that his mum is never going to throw him out - so all he has to do is weather a bit of a nasty scene - maybe take another 4 weeks of very expensive rehab to escape the wrath of the dad and he's in the good books again.... and so on it goes....

you see -- YS and I (this is IMO ONLY -- I NEVER EVEN MET YS SO HOW COULD I KNOW!) probably have something in common (along with many of us here) -- I LOVED DRINKING -- absolutely loved it -- I became who I wanted to be - full of personality - good craic - fitted in - etc etc..... tbh I'd still love to be like that albeit without the drink. Does that imply mental illness -- no -- does it imply anxiety -- yes certainly -- but since finding sobriety I realise that most people suffer from anxiety at some level or other -- it needs to be handled -- I don't handle it very well -- my age permits me to avoid most social situations - not so for him I guess.....

He -- or you -- or MrS -- need to find his rock bottom I think -- surely the answer is out there short of putting him out on the street? When he finds a few weeks of sobriety does his life become comfortable at home --money? use of car? gym membership paid? that sort of thing? Always remember that an addict is like a child -- that is why they are so frustrating - we think 'can he/she not understand?' or 'can they not see?' -- no -- until they have successfully decided that there is NO chink in the armour of sobriety all they need is to make their life possible to have another binge - that means manipulating everyone around them -- I know this how? Cos that's what I did.... time and time and time again -- I was just lucky that my 'rock bottom' was at a fairly high level -- that's all

Please don't take offence at anything I've written -- this is from my experience and from my heart -- and if you think it's all rubbish -- throw it out -- it's only MY experience

Thinking of you - and jesus I hope there is a solution out there xxxx

[mollyka]

Re: December Army 2022

Im so sorry Satz, its an impossible situation you're in.

Baltic day today. Inlaws coming for lunch. Be interesting to see if I can hold my tongue, they haven't called since Mr S diagnosis (apart from a computer issue) and I am angry.

and that is also inexplicable --- buggered if I'd have them for lunch -- are you going to say anything?

[satz123]

Re: December Army 2022

I'm after getting out the laptop so WARNING -- this could be long -- pass on by if bored.....


Right -- first of all -- OF COURSE my heart goes out to you -- fucking horrible awful and apparently inexplicable....

but

Where you say
'I really think he has some kind of mental issue - anxiety - that makes him want to drink to literally 'get out of his head' and relax / forget.' --- it was like a 'feck me' moment -- I'd forgotten -- that's what Adam said to me on that shit awful last day of drinking... but I knew differently --
now where I will differentiate between a young(ish) male like YS and a middle-aged (as I was) woman and mother like me is that by essence - our life styles -- the people in our lives meant that a 'rock bottom' would be two totally different scenario's.
I know for a fact that my 'rock bottom' day leading to sobriety was in no way shape or form as bad as last night (or this morning -- dunno which) in your house Benjy -- my kids were cross and confused and generally dis-enchanted with their mum and Joe just rolled his eyes -- but it was enough for me -- I was so proud in myself - so determined to be seen as a great mother - wife - house minder -- employee - that that day was more than enough of a rock bottom for me.

Who knows what Ys's rock bottom is? He knows emotionally (and fully understandably) that his mum is never going to throw him out - so all he has to do is weather a bit of a nasty scene - maybe take another 4 weeks of very expensive rehab to escape the wrath of the dad and he's in the good books again.... and so on it goes....

you see -- YS and I (this is IMO ONLY -- I NEVER EVEN MET YS SO HOW COULD I KNOW!) probably have something in common (along with many of us here) -- I LOVED DRINKING -- absolutely loved it -- I became who I wanted to be - full of personality - good craic - fitted in - etc etc..... tbh I'd still love to be like that albeit without the drink. Does that imply mental illness -- no -- does it imply anxiety -- yes certainly -- but since finding sobriety I realise that most people suffer from anxiety at some level or other -- it needs to be handled -- I don't handle it very well -- my age permits me to avoid most social situations - not so for him I guess.....

He -- or you -- or MrS -- need to find his rock bottom I think -- surely the answer is out there short of putting him out on the street? When he finds a few weeks of sobriety does his life become comfortable at home --money? use of car? gym membership paid? that sort of thing? Always remember that an addict is like a child -- that is why they are so frustrating - we think 'can he/she not understand?' or 'can they not see?' -- no -- until they have successfully decided that there is NO chink in the armour of sobriety all they need is to make their life possible to have another binge - that means manipulating everyone around them -- I know this how? Cos that's what I did.... time and time and time again -- I was just lucky that my 'rock bottom' was at a fairly high level -- that's all

Please don't take offence at anything I've written -- this is from my experience and from my heart -- and if you think it's all rubbish -- throw it out -- it's only MY experience

Thinking of you - and jesus I hope there is a solution out there xxxx

No offence. It all makes total sense Molls.

In particular this is SOOOO true :

probably have something in common .. I LOVED DRINKING -- absolutely loved it -- I became who I wanted to be - full of personality - good craic - fitted in - etc etc..... tbh I'd still love to be like that albeit without the drink.

He really loves drinking.

And what I mean by mental disorder is anxiety and/or low level depression. Usually successfully addressed by giving medication - but as soon as antidepressants are mentioned everyone I know steps away which is such a pity.

When he finds a few weeks of sobriety does his life become comfortable at home --money? use of car? gym membership paid? that sort of thing?

And yes this is very true too.
We don't pay for anything like gym etc we don't give him money but ....... what he gets on the dole is all his and he gets all the comforts of home without paying for anything.
I was holding off for a while before asking for housekeeping money - BIG MISTAKE I'd say.

God knows what his rock bottom is at this stage. What would absolutely freak you or I out doesn't seem to have a lasting effect on him.
Being carried from the local Pharmacy into my car by 3 men , his father having to literally drag him inch by inch into the house to leave him on the floor, Rosie going into his room to look for and finding food in the bed and on the floor, not washing for weeks on end
missing birthdays, Christmas, holidays, visits to his Nan, having to lie constantly. Thousands spent on treatment. This is just what we know of.
If none of this has hit a nerve then I don't know what will.
None of this has been enough to stop him from relapsing after a few weeks.