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2023!!! Jan Army thread

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    #46
    Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

    How that Burke person was ever left in charge of young people beggars belief!
    My daughter Jilly ...her best friend goes by them/they...I stumble sometimes forgetting but they are grand about it...I just tell them I'm a bewildered old dear:victorious:
    Back to normal today..Max able for walks so went out to the river in Cong...just lovely!
    Living the dream...mmm...NO ONE lives the dream I think...one of my sons is very distanced from us...it upsets me a lot but there really doesn't seem to be anything we can do...he's the same with his siblings...he seems angry a lot of the time..so yeah..that's my burden!
    And good on you Inchy coming here with a plan..get the drugs out of the way...then the booze. I didn't quit smoking for over 2 years after getting sober and glad I did it that way.
    Howdy everyone else..and on that note I'm going to bed..few things I want to do on the laptop and I'm on a good book so talk tomorrow folks! Xxx
    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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      #47
      Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

      Morning everyone

      Long walk done, absolutely lovely this morning. I have a good book too and think I am going to spend the day with my nose stuck in it. Anyone got more exciting plans?

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        #48
        Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

        Originally posted by rustop59 View Post
        Morning everyone

        Long walk done, absolutely lovely this morning. I have a good book too and think I am going to spend the day with my nose stuck in it. Anyone got more exciting plans?
        Heading to beach..collecting seaweed for my tunnel..not much else..might grab lunch on way home
        Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
        contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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          #49
          Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

          Headed to a friends for a movie night tonight, its a regular thing we do, he lives with his mum to keep her company and she cooks for us so its a nice break for me.
          They/He

          SH free - 25/11/2022
          AF - 15/02/2023

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            #50
            Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

            Arvo all

            Your Phd sounds so interesting Inchy. Sometimes I wish I had the motivation to study again. Fair play to you for doing that and working full time too. I struggle with working part time :haha:

            Good idea to tackle the booze when you are ready IMO, I always used to attack diet, WDs on New Years day and it never worked. What's your drinking pattern at the moment? Do you think you will find it a struggle to knock it on the head?

            I've not heard of the Burke family. Is it something I should investigate? We have many numbskulls over here that seem to reach the news, not sure if I need any more on my radar though

            Massive long walk yesterday very muddy so a 2 hour walk took about 3 and was exhausting. Such a beautiful sunrise though and well worth seeing that despite the quagmire. Today a shorter walk/jog round the country park in the rain.


            Yes I was wondering about YS too. Did he see his sister over the holidays?

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              #51
              Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

              [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - I will be going down to part time work when I start PhD because there literally would not be enough hours in the day for both haha.

              Drinking wise? I know I have to do it and I know its going to suck and I'm definitely getting that fear creeping in. I'm pretty much the definition of functioning, I don't drink in the day, don't drink if I'm driving, but I get in at 5pm and I am just on it from then until I'm ready to sleep, which with the insomnia from the painkillers can take a good while, and I try and stick to that time frame on weekends just for my own sake but its definitely going to be a rough go stopping this time. This is probably about the worst point I've been at in terms of like, time spent, amount etc. Its a good motivation to quit because this is massively unsustainable when I go back to studying, but I'm definitely in unfamiliar territory in terms of previous attempts have been quitting from a way lower level, for me.
              They/He

              SH free - 25/11/2022
              AF - 15/02/2023

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                #52
                Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                Originally posted by Battle_for_the_sun View Post
                [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION] - I will be going down to part time work when I start PhD because there literally would not be enough hours in the day for both haha.

                Drinking wise? I know I have to do it and I know its going to suck and I'm definitely getting that fear creeping in. I'm pretty much the definition of functioning, I don't drink in the day, don't drink if I'm driving, but I get in at 5pm and I am just on it from then until I'm ready to sleep, which with the insomnia from the painkillers can take a good while, and I try and stick to that time frame on weekends just for my own sake but its definitely going to be a rough go stopping this time. This is probably about the worst point I've been at in terms of like, time spent, amount etc. Its a good motivation to quit because this is massively unsustainable when I go back to studying, but I'm definitely in unfamiliar territory in terms of previous attempts have been quitting from a way lower level, for me.
                Tbh I think in a way its easier from a higher level...if you are truly sort of managing it..there's little incentive to quit..but when it's that important and other things are suffering well hey..we really can't (shouldn't) justify continuing..
                Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                  #53
                  Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                  Yes its definitely that habitual crutch that is the hardest to break. I still believe painkillers are harder though and much more insidious and the WDs more lengthy too. I think once you have the first week out the way you will feel in more control. Also, it might help your sleep a bit. My sleep was always fecked with drinking. It did take a good while to settle after painkillers too. Best thing you can do for yourself though, it really is.

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                    #54
                    Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                    Yes I was wondering about YS too. Did he see his sister over the holidays?
                    [MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION] [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION]
                    No he didn't see his sister while she was over.
                    He also didn't have Christmas Day or New Year with his family

                    The Christmas tree came down & all his gifts are still sitting there.
                    I am beyond caring at this stage - he just didn't bother his arse to even try get sober, for a few hours, just to come home & see his only sister.
                    So we are all in agreement - I text a few times and told him that this is his home but that we were not going to beg him.
                    He had decisions to make and obviously the drink won out !!.

                    Just in from my niece's 30th birthday party ...... & work in the morning.

                    Nighty night. zzzzzzzz

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                      #55
                      Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                      Aww that's a bummer Satz but probably expected. I guess he is living at your mums house? He probably doesn't see any reason to be sober. So tough for you guys though. Hope the party was good.

                      Day of relaxing and a few chores for me today. Mr S at work all day so I will comandeer the tv this arvo and watch Spooks. 10 series to get through :haha:

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                        #56
                        Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                        Good morning everyone

                        As Starty said bummer Satz. You have all done as much as humanly possible for him, ball is in his court now. Glad you got to go to the party. Can’t be easy, take care of yourself,

                        Enjoy your relaxing day Starty. I am doing the same. Last group dog walk this morning. SIL arriving back Tuesday morning. It’s been a long month!

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                          #57
                          Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                          Morning........just.
                          Spent yesterday texting back and forth with one of my cousins about my Aunt's funeral (we haven't got a date yet). On one hand it was nice to chat with my cousin (I have about 14 cousins on my Dad's side) on the other it was a proper chore.

                          [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]...........you've done the right thing. He's a grown man let him get on with it.

                          Had a lovely visit from Jenny and Ads yesterday especially after the doom and gloom over the last couple weeks. Only Jenny is coming as Ads can't get the time off. Jenny's headteacher has given her the day off.
                          It could be worse, I could be filing.
                          AF since 7/7/2009

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                            #58
                            Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                            Afternoon all,

                            Satz - you're doing the right thing, I had a sibling who consistently failed to show up (amongst other things) due to issues with drugs, my mother made excuses to the point of co-dependency, it was one of the reasons I cut ties with my family five years ago. I know setting a boundary like that must be tough, but its also healthier for everyone involved, you're doing the right thing.

                            Molly and Starty - thanks for your advice/input, it is appreciated. I do feel like I'm in a better place to quit now I can really feel how unsustainable my current situation is, I was having to hide how much I was drinking at my friend's place last night, which was definitely not a nice feeling. I'll be honest I wouldn't know how to compare painkillers vs alcohol - I quit both at the same time three years ago when I was in a car accident and due to some complications couldn't take anything sedating for a few weeks - but sorting out which symptoms were WDs and which were post-concussion syndrome is beyond me at this point. The times I've quit drinking before have all been medical reasons (liver problem, car accident) or when I was struggling with an eating disorder and my hatred of calories somehow won out over my love of being messed up. I was briefly sober back in August of my own volition, the main problem I had was just getting super depressed, which in turn was the motivation to pick up painkillers again, which I thought would help, but of course I relapsed within a couple days anyway and ended up with two problems instead of one (go figure). Mentally I haven't found painkillers too rough to quit except insane cravings, but again, as I tried to medicate WDs from alcohol with pills I've medicated WDs from painkillers by doubling down on drinking. All this rambling to say - it's amazing what the addict lizard-brain comes up with as an excuse to get messed up, and I'm going to have to keep a close eye on that side of things when I try again so I don't end up dealing with a relapse on pills, my eating disorder, both, or something new entirely
                            They/He

                            SH free - 25/11/2022
                            AF - 15/02/2023

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                              #59
                              Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                              The worst part of quitting alcohol for me was the anxiety/depression...which at the time I felt was just how my life was going to be without a crutch..but after numerous quits I came to know that it is temporary and when I understood that ...staying quit was much easier...its really a matter of buckling up for a few weeks and you will be flying...of course the immediate major w/ds are really gone within a few days...as regards painkillers I don't know but I do know Starty has said harder but...nothing is as hard as maintaining an addiction and showing that 'normal' face to the world....just horrible...couldn't imagine anything making me want to go back there!
                              Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                              contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                                #60
                                Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                                Evening all.
                                Well said Molly. As well as the cravings, it was the emptiness that got me. Maybe all the effort hiding and planning my nightly consumption left me with lots of free head space. But it is temporary. Don't know how I ever fit it in now.
                                Thanks Battle for the clarity on they/he. I wouldn't bother looking up the burke family, bigots, just in the news a lot over here right now.

                                We had the Masters Cross country races today. Absolute torture, although it was only 3k for my age category. I've a role of female club captain this year so can't escape these things.

                                Pity about YS [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]. I also think he's given you no choice now. He's going to do what he's going to do, at least it's not in you face, way too much stress.

                                [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION], 56 first cousins here, between both sides :haha: I think Rustop or molly might have more?? We now know how to use birth control and my kids have way less!!
                                AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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