2023!!! Jan Army thread

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Yeah well that's where I am now really...we're looking at a Toyota and a Lexus...but the Lexus would be second hand...and deffo the hybrid sounds right for us..the car we have tbh I'd say it has years left in it...it'll be a gem for someone to get for about 2k..but bootspace is small and we hope to travel a bit in Europe next year sooooo..need more space

[IamMary]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]
Glad someone else is in the same boat - but I do believe it will come back to bite us.
When we get very old, very sick or when some tragedy happens when we can't be the strong one - who will look after us ?

Daughters, friends, sisters and all of you, OBVIOUSLY (as we all hop into Rustops canoe). Yea, starty is right, men are from Mars - we just probably think differently. Maybe MrM will have a Joe moment, but Ive navigated around this for years and its not a problem, just the way it is.

Mary I'm vegetarian not vegan, I'd like to go vegan but I consider cheese among the greatest reasons to live xD that and chocolate.

I get that. Id be a vegetarian if it wasn't for ham.
So, is it a big 0 coming up :dancegirl:
Sounds like everything worked out in the end with your Best friend, Ex partner?

Ive a hybrid Molly, 8 year old. it was 3 years old when I got it. Mileage is pretty high now, but (touching wood) it hasnt given much trouble over the years. You dont get great distance from the hybrid, but most of my journeys are short and Im home again for a recharge. Work has loads of charging stations too.

Waiting for son to call for a lift. In a moment of madness I said he could go a bit later tonight - party with a lot of the old scout crew. I really regret that now. :sleeping:

[satz123]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Morning all.
Not sure where I left off - but YS is back here.
Instead of running to get him - I left him to make the decision to get sober & come home. Took 5 weeks of living in squalor. And I mean that.
I went up the following day to my mother's house and what met me was horrifying.
Was like one of those hoarding programmes on tv - where you can't see the floor for rubbish, cans, bottles, take-away packaging, rotting food. All over every surface in the kitchen. And the floors, sofa, bed . It takes a lot to shock an old alko like me but I stood speechless.

I had to clear it up for my own sake before my family saw it. It's going up for sale.
My sister had arranged next day for the house to completely cleared ready for sale by a man with a van.

That is his bolthole gone!
Next time he picks up a drink he had better realize - he has nowhere to go. Time to face the consequences of his drinking. He can stay here till he finds somewhere else to live and stays sober.
We are now in a supervised detox mode (again) with help from the doctor & librium (again)
I had to bring him to the doctor's office like a child - so she could get the full picture. He continually lies - it's his default now.
It is amazing how with the help of the drug he can quit the alcohol and turn into a human again & not this scruffy tramp that arrived here.

It makes me wonder is there some underlying mental disorder there - no-one could live in that squalor could they ? Surrounded by rotting food, dozens of bottles and empty cans?

[satz123]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Just found a name for it : Diogenes syndrome
'is characterised by extreme self-neglect, domestic squalor, symptoms of catatonia, social withdrawal, apathy, compulsive hoarding of rubbish, and lack of concern with regard to situation, and executive dysfunction, which is characterised by difficulties in planning, decision making'

Not sure which came first - the alcohol or this. So it's back to the doctor.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Good morning lovely people. Reading of YS makes me even more grateful for what I have today, what finally putting down the bottle has brought me. It is no exaggeration to say getting sober and staying sober has touched every aspect of my life and those closest to me in a positive way. We are all different and each one of us has a different story to tell about our relationship to alcohol. Why we drank and why we couldn’t stop for ant length of time over periods of years, how some of us are now one day at a time and others know with every ounce of our being that we will never ever go back to the place that was in effect a slow suicide.
It sounds a living nightmare for you and yours Staz, nobody has an answer to why, except YS, just as nobody can stop this except him. Mental illness, perhaps but then isn’t being in that drunken state constantly not being in our right minds anyway, how can we think rationally or make any sense of our lives, the self hatred and lack of self esteem is like slowly being dragged down a sink hole and yet we still seek the escape. I truly hope that the professionals can help him and that somewhere deep down that spark of self survival we all have is still burning and one day he realises life, a life lived is such a beautiful gift.

[satz123]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

was in effect a slow suicide.

Thank you Tabbs. That describes exactly what is happening to him.

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Dunno what to say....well said Tabs...for sure I have always believed that addiction is a illness all of its own...he has all the cards Benjy....you need to try and take control of your home if nothing else...lay the rules...take the money etc. I truly send all my love to you xxx

[rustop59]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Thank you Tabbs. That describes exactly what is happening to him.

Good morning everyone

Thanks for dropping in Tabs, always enjoy your insightful posts. Much love Satz, at least you have a name for what is going on with him and might be able to get them to address it. He knew you meant business this time so fingers crossed.

Had an amazing meal last night. Place is absolutely buzzing. Middle of no where, Kilcronin Castle. Only here for the night, beautiful view of lake from room. Here waiting for my breakfast to be delivered and then might go for bit of a walk.

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Good morning everyone

Thanks for dropping in Tabs, always enjoy your insightful posts. Much love Satz, at least you have a name for what is going on with him and might be able to get them to address it. He knew you meant business this time so fingers crossed.

Had an amazing meal last night. Place is absolutely buzzing. Middle of no where, Kilcronin Castle. Only here for the night, beautiful view of lake from room. Here waiting for my breakfast to be delivered and then might go for bit of a walk.

Delighted you're enjoying...I've never heard of it....I must 'do the goggle' as my lovely uncle used to say:welldone:

[starty]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Morning all,

So sorry Satz, its awful to be on the same old merry go round each time getting a bit worse for all. Did he make the decision to get sober this time? I am the same as the others, what comes first, the mental illness or the alcoholic mind which of course is another form of mental illness. Could you see as a child he was different? I was reading something about being the youngest child , they apparently are often the most sensitive and can be prone to succumbing to addiction. Did he know he was living in a hovel or have shame over it? I also wonder how he gets a drs appt. Over here you would be waiting a couple of weeks for one. I send you all the positive thoughts I can muster x

Your weekend sounds amazing Rustop!

Ive just got back from an 8 mile walk. The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking. Very cold and windy but worth it to see that. Now trying to warm up with my heated throw. Feel like I am living in the Middle Ages :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Morning all,

So sorry Satz, its awful to be on the same old merry go round each time getting a bit worse for all. Did he make the decision to get sober this time? I am the same as the others, what comes first, the mental illness or the alcoholic mind which of course is another form of mental illness. Could you see as a child he was different? I was reading something about being the youngest child , they apparently are often the most sensitive and can be prone to succumbing to addiction. Did he know he was living in a hovel or have shame over it? I also wonder how he gets a drs appt. Over here you would be waiting a couple of weeks for one. I send you all the positive thoughts I can muster x

Your weekend sounds amazing Rustop!

Ive just got back from an 8 mile walk. The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking. Very cold and windy but worth it to see that. Now trying to warm up with my heated throw. Feel like I am living in the Middle Ages :haha:

Fair dues...8 miles...I've got lazy I think.....in fact....I know!
Doctors over here are all private..unless you're under 7 over 70 or poor. The advantage is tho for 50 yoyos you can pretty much see them on demand.
I was wondering too about the sobering up hours....did he look around and feel shame or did he not sober up.
I think the youngest child could be a thing...I'm one. Always felt left out of the core family and seemed to spend my childhood in a state of hurt...all in my head I think tho.

Sun is OUT!!!!

[starty]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Same here re youngest Molls, I often resented my bro and felt like the black sheep so went ahead and acted exactly like that taking drugs and drinking from an early age. He went to Uni, earned lots of money and had loads of friends. I saw that and felt like a failure. Now I am old, all that is irrelevant and means nothing, I realise now that he didnt get through life any more unscathed than I did. But when you're young it certainly feels different and that is hard to move on from.

I think they need to sort out our health service, its on its knees and piss poor at so many things. Maybe we should take a leaf out of your book. Do you pay massive taxes as well?

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Same here re youngest Molls, I often resented my bro and felt like the black sheep so went ahead and acted exactly like that taking drugs and drinking from an early age. He went to Uni, earned lots of money and had loads of friends. I saw that and felt like a failure. Now I am old, all that is irrelevant and means nothing, I realise now that he didnt get through life any more unscathed than I did. But when you're young it certainly feels different and that is hard to move on from.

I think they need to sort out our health service, its on its knees and piss poor at so many things. Maybe we should take a leaf out of your book. Do you pay massive taxes as well?

Not really...if you're earning a lot you may pay 40% but with tax credits and everything I've never paid more than 20% on my taxable income....oh I did when Joe earned but I think you can earn about 50k before you go on a higher rate...double that for married couple....could be completely off on that but .

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

Afternoon all, back from friends place, finally watched 'glass onion' on netflix - highly recommend if you've not seen it, very fun movie.

Mary - I'm turning 30! And yes the situation with my ex is unconventional but worked out - I was living with him and his parents when we broke up and had no place else to go, and me and the ex actually helped each other through our break up, that was a good while ago now, about 7 years.

Satz - sounds like a horrific situation for you and your family, no advice to offer but sending love.

Re;talk of being youngest - my brother is the youngest, I'm in the middle (18 months between us) but I think we both got into addiction around the same time - started the same way with the usual alcohol and pot but he fell in with a crowd with a lot of hard drug users and went that way. Think my sister (older) had some issues with alcohol but that came after I cut ties from the family. My brother I think it was partly being youngest and the only surviving boy (my mother's first died shortly before my sister was born), he felt not having our father in the picture more. I on the other hand drew the short straw and had the joy of being bullied and abused by both siblings and my mother, which is not to say she didn't hit the others but she made no secret of the fact I annoyed her the most. After I got diagnosed with autism in my late 20s it made a lot more sense why I tended to be the family punching bag, went a long way to convincing me it wasn't my fault. I'm happier without them now, achieved more since I cut ties with them than I ever did when dealing with their drama.

[mollyka]

Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

I probably spent a lot of my life blaming my family for this that and d'other....but as I get older and see issues (thankfully so far ...small) and I ask myself could I have done things differently and tbh with the knowledge and information I had when I was a younger mum...probably not really...seems to be an endless cycle/circle