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2023!!! Jan Army thread

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    Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

    Evening all

    Spent the day making art and working through my PhD watchlist for a change of pace, I do a lot of portraiture/fan art stuff and wanted to do something honour of my thirtieth day drug free so its been a nice way to regroup a little, keep my hands and my mind busy. My new favourite weapon is procrastination, turns out any drinking thought can be shut down with the word 'later'. Not easy, not perfect, but it's gotten me through day 6. Feeling good about making progress even if I'm not convinced this is going to stick - but then I guess maybe nobody knows if it will in the early days?

    Hope everyone's having a relaxing weekend
    They/He

    SH free - 25/11/2022
    AF - 15/02/2023

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      Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

      Evening.
      Another small comfort [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION], they whipped loads of my mothers colon out years ago, it's was riddled. It actually largely grew back and she's as healthy as a horse these days.

      Inchy, you're playing a blinder, your ticking those days off brilliantly. Keep doing what your doing and don't think too far ahead.

      Race tomorrow, only 5 miles.. its like a train station here, ffs!!
      AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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        Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

        Might have crossed post with you Inchy. Your right, we cant know if it will stick, none of us can, regardless of how confident or determined we are. Thats why we stick around here and for the wonderful company too of course.
        AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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          Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

          That's a big comfort. Thank you Mary!

          Yep inchy no one can know. Falling off the wagon happens as it has done to me a number of times. The thing that does help is the realisation that life is better without. Of course, there are always going to be times where we want a drink for whatever reason but those times never really turn out how we imagine eg Ill just have a drink to ease stress, be sociable, cheer myself up and so on. But it doesn't end there and soon the negative impacts step in

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            Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

            Originally posted by Battle_for_the_sun View Post
            Evening all

            Spent the day making art and working through my PhD watchlist for a change of pace, I do a lot of portraiture/fan art stuff and wanted to do something honour of my thirtieth day drug free so its been a nice way to regroup a little, keep my hands and my mind busy. My new favourite weapon is procrastination, turns out any drinking thought can be shut down with the word 'later'. Not easy, not perfect, but it's gotten me through day 6. Feeling good about making progress even if I'm not convinced this is going to stick - but then I guess maybe nobody knows if it will in the early days?

            Hope everyone's having a relaxing weekend
            You're doing well Inchy and the more days/weeks/months you clock up the more you really won't want to break that run...that's why I liked counting days at the beginning..some don't.

            I'm a wee bit worried when you say ' I'm not convinced this is going to stick'.....I feel we need to be 100% committed to MAKE it stick...you need sort of an armour around you...catalogue the reasons it must stick...understand the reality of each relapse...most here will agree that each subsequent quit gets harder...so much so that some will say they really don't have another quit in them....the first quits are golden...the enthusiasm should be there....arm yourself with all the reasons why relying on substances to get through life is not for you.

            What got me through was my mantra ' I can do anything today but I won't drink...under ANY circumstances '
            It gets easier and easier if you stay quit...but relapsing really has more consequences in the long run than just picking up that drink or drug on that day.

            Sorry if I'm sounding a gloom merchant....but I really don't want anyone to suffer because of the same mistakes that I made.....said with care xxx
            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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              Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

              :bricks:
              Just poking my nose in. I've now worked out I may have SAD (seasonal affective disorder)......Its near impossible to get a doctor at our surgery and that leads to a blockage at our hospital as people are going to A&E with things that a GP could sort out.......I'm on anti-depression pills anyway but going to add Black Cohosh (its herbal) a go. I used it during during my menopause and although I had a few flushes but it worked a treat. Think some animals have got it sussed and hibernate.
              Its near impossible to get a doctor at our surgery and that leads to a blockage at our hospital as people are going to A&E with things that a GP could sort out.

              Inchy, me darling going to pinch this from Molls.............' I can do anything today but I won't drink...under ANY circumstances ' and she's spot on.

              But its not all doom and gloom we're getting new curtains ( a man that can is coming to measure up next week) and once I get ready we're off to buy a new jacket for Mr. JC.
              It could be worse, I could be filing.
              AF since 7/7/2009

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                Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                Sorry you are feeling shite JC. I defo used to suffer SAD when I worked in an office. I used one of those blue lamps which I found helped. Also try and get out and about as much as possible as natural daylight even if not terribly bright will help. Sorry you cant get a GP appt, do they just not give them? Or do you have to wait a while to get one?

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                  Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                  Get copious amounts of vit D in as well as what Starty says...natural daylight works..doesn't have to be sunny...and roll your sleeves up to your elbows...have suffered SAD all my life really and this year I've done all those things and really not a whit of it..indoors is Sad's best friend imo !
                  Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                  contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                    Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                    Good point Molls. Vit D is a must. I have a high dose spray. Dirt cheap and easy to squirt in each morning

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                      Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                      Originally posted by starty View Post
                      Good point Molls. Vit D is a must. I have a high dose spray. Dirt cheap and easy to squirt in each morning
                      Is the spray better than pills? Where do you squirt it...politely:harhar:
                      Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                      contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                        Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                        Originally posted by mollyka View Post
                        Is the spray better than pills? Where do you squirt it...politely:harhar:
                        :haha: On the inside of my mouth. I love sublingual Vits as they get fully absorbed as they dont have to go through the gut

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                          Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                          Originally posted by starty View Post
                          Good point Molls. Vit D is a must. I have a high dose spray. Dirt cheap and easy to squirt in each morning
                          Afternoon everyone

                          Really agree about the benefits of Vit D. Low levels cause all sorts of health issues. Hope you are soon feeling a bit better JC.

                          Well done on keeping busy Battle and good advice from Molly.

                          Hope the race went well Mary. I climbed a mountain this morning. Feet up now doing a bit of crochet.

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                            Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                            Originally posted by starty View Post
                            :haha: On the inside of my mouth. I love sublingual Vits as they get fully absorbed as they dont have to go through the gut
                            Ahh gotcha must look out for that..have a great big jar of pills tho..might wait till they're gone

                            So casually mentioning you climbed a mountain Rusters..I'd be talking bout it for YEARS:welldone:
                            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                              Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                              Evening all,

                              About to cross into day 8 so that's my first week done. Been studying pretty solidly today, ten hours down and all the tv I'm watching is project adjacent so probably got another hour and a half of more relaxed work before sleep. The routine helps, I'm loving what I'm doing, just me, my endless playlists (movie soundtracks for studying, obviously haha) and the occasional break to eat or pet a guinea pig. This is what I want life to be.

                              Molly - I am committed to making this stick but the way I look at it I'm a bad day and a bad decision away from relapse, and I've got a 16 year history of making those bad decisions and 7 days of making the right one. That doesn't mean I won't try to make the right choices going forward but, being honest with myself (and this i just an example) I am in early sobriety and in the next month there are 3 further stages to my funding application - each one is a chance for me to be told a) what I am doing is not good enough and b) because of that I won't get the money I need to get out of this cold damp flat. Will drinking make those things better? no, and I am hanging onto that, but am I going into it thinking 'I will definitely stay quit'? No, I'd be mad to, its like a gauntlet of triggers. I can say i will try and I can set my intention, but I am mindful that a slip at this stage happens easily and will be hard to get up from. I'll be sticking close to the forums, using every tool I have but its going to be a heck of a rough ride.

                              JC - I second the lamp recommendation and share your pain with a GP appointment - we have an hour to put in a form in the morning and then they text or email a couple of days later to fob us off with whatever medication they fancy giving. Not going to lie - made it a heck of a lot easier to score painkillers when I was into that. Mind it could be worse - I'm on a waiting list for a gender identity clinic and its likely to be three years before i see anyone - got referred same month as I got the offer of a PhD place so now I'm racing the NHS wait time to see if I can be a doctor before I see one haha.

                              Rustop and Mary - climbing mountains and racing around - and here I am sat in my desk chair for the past 13 hours haha - well done to you both.

                              Re; vitamin D - I should probably take some kind of vitamins, given as I lurk indoors as much as I can - I always say I'm a mole person, lucky if you get me out the house and as for sunlight? forget it haha.
                              They/He

                              SH free - 25/11/2022
                              AF - 15/02/2023

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                                Re: 2023!!! Jan Army thread

                                I'm too late to edit my last post so wanted to add I'm not trying to make excuses if I screw up 100% that is on me, but I've done this enough times now to know I cannot be trusted to do right by myself this first month, who knows maybe seven days turns into seven weeks, seven months and I earn the right to a little cautious optimism but for now, I'm eyeing the calendar with suspicion
                                They/He

                                SH free - 25/11/2022
                                AF - 15/02/2023

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