Raining lonely!!!

[Keepon!!!!]

Hi all just thought Id let you know what my days like well in other words typing it will get it off my chest!!!!

Its Friday Morning in England and its raining as usual dark outside and im miserable Ive taken my son to school and he had right mood swing this morning (im a single parent) I told him off and now I feel bad and sad and got I soaked taking him to school as I dont drive and theres no buses around here and now Im home and its quiet as usual ive got my housework to do which I do day in day out (boring) and I have no friends or family apart from my parents to talk too my mom is at work the reason why I have no friends is because of the relastionship I have with alcohol I dont let no one close to me just in case they see the side of me im not thats why I have no partner either ive just became a hermit and thats not good when your only 31 I had my binge drink last week and dont feel the need for any alcohol which is a good thing but even though I am not drinking at the moment in time im still living the same as when i do drink which is depressing when not drinking im an easy going person but the vibes I give to others is stay away I wish it wasnt like this because I would love to have friends to call up and chat too or go for a coffee etc

Oh well there it is hope i neva bored you I hope things will change in the future

Thankyou all for reading luv Keepon:h

[Flip]

Raining lonely!!!

Hey Keepon, What about looking up AA meeting? You will meet other's who are not only just like you, but won't judge you in any way. You may even find a friend.(that doesn't come in a bottle). I'm not a God botherer, but the group stuff is great.

Does the govt run any drug and alcohol programs? I know that here in Oz there are great programs for people like us who need support and are alone.

You simply must break out of this rut sweetie - do what ever it takes.

Hugs for you.

F.

[rachel28]

Raining lonely!!!

hey chick, u got rain 2, its a lovely summer we r havin, if i didnt have to go work darlin, id stay an chat all day, i know what u mean, my baby well he is 10, had a right strop, over years he has become well tuned to my emotions , he went in a right mood, think he knows somethings up wiv mummy, never had a beer in my hand last night must a been a shock for him, dont feel guilty, i know i screwed up an so doe s my lad but seriously just cos u feel guilty bcause of u, sometimes kids do work it out, they DO NEED DISIPLINE if they r out a line u got to tell em, yes u got to make allowances 4 when we go wrong but as a parent its up to them to show em when they go wrong,i have 1 frienshe is there if i need her but i try to sd, i dont c often, as of my drinking , i did try whackin her but fell in a heap cryin an sobbin , obviously drunk, she is sucessful , prfect family u know the 1,i try to not inflict her with my shit, i was single mum a long time, i know how u r feelin, im back 2 30 i will message u if u like, please SMILE, oh uck, i have done 1/2 a !/2 bottle a brandy already, said i would jus have a drop, xx

[rachel28]

Raining lonely!!!

i sounded really harsh then, dont mean it quite like that, explain better laters xx

[maryt]

Raining lonely!!!

hello keepon i am like yourself was embaressed about my drinking so friends drifted away and i let them and because of loneliness i drank more which i hated and my confidence took a right battering then i realised i need to get out of the house so got a part time job which has led to full time employment so i now have something else to focus on not sure if that is an option for you but would be a good starting point and you will meet new friends through work and i sure the extra money would come in handy anyway you have lots of friends here

love maryt

[rachel28]

Raining lonely!!!

how old is your child, work is good way to get out the prison of 4 walls, i just want some time of from cleaning other peoples shit at mo, but i love bein out, i wud prob b dead if i hadnt had my jobs over yrs , u meet some characters at places i work, an they drive me mad but i loves em xx

[MDBiker]

Raining lonely!!!

Keepon honey, I am sorry you are feeling so depressed. I am glad you are able to post; it is a good way to get things out. I know you don't think Doctors can help, but you need to take the antidepresants they give you whether you feel depressed or not. I swear if you are taking the right meds you will feel better and have a better chance of beating this. I wish you the best

Bear

[Bella]

Raining lonely!!!

Good morning to you Keepon.

Guess what? Its raining here too.....I have taken my son to school in the rain....I have now got boring old chores to do.....You have a friend here right now ..it you want one. Life can get very mundane. I don't work and I do spend alot of time alone. Your circumstances sound similar to mine. We can be bored together!!!!!! Don't be depressed. Why don't you go out somewhere, I don't know, maybe a shopping centre? Getting out of the house tends to make me feel better. Chin up. Keepon and don't feel alone. Love, Bella xxxx

[paula]

Raining lonely!!!

Hi Keepon, it's pouring down here, so know how you feel about the weather!,I have to go
to work soon, that really helps me. I do agree with MD. you sound depressed. I have felt
just like you, I was very low in mood so I went to my gp, he prescribed an antidepressant
and now I feel much better. Best of luck.
Paula x

[Change]

Raining lonely!!!

Hi Keepon,

I used to have a relationship with a bottle as well and eventually convinced myself that i didn't need people, that the bottle was enough. But, it's not.

I have been alcohol-free for 15 days and while i have had my moments, i feel overall better. It is amazing how the despondancy lifts. When you have a clear head, you can better decide what you are going to do.

About the rain: i don't live in a country that rains nearly as much, but when it does, i get DVDs. And, you can always log on to the internet.

[Keepon!!!!]

Raining lonely!!!

Thank you all for your support!!!

I will go into more detail basically my son is 8 we have a good bond most of the time!!! Before having my son I was a Dental Nurse and I also worked on the trains (trolly dolly) serving refreshments i just thought i used to serve alcohol on them trains way back then i obviously neva had a problem otherwise all the minitures would have been down my neck hehehe (just a joke) Anyway I neva had a problem meeting new people i loved my job as a Dental Nurse it was nice to form bonds with patients that were afraid of the dentist i felt useful. Then I fell pregnant my partner at the time beat me up when i was 5 months pregnant so I decided to go it alone and I was quite happy with that this little thing growing inside me was most important at the ( not asking for sympathy here just telling how it was). Over the years of bringing up my son I have had various part time jobs etc including barmaid hehe would you believe I dont now hehe

And as time as gone by my drinking has got stronger and stronger Ive met a few asshole b/friends along the way which has made me worse hence me being single for 4 years !!!!

I have moved from place to place i mean over 200 miles to set up home to see if my drink binges would go away and now im back where im originally started with the same problem
I have recently tryed to do a course in travel and tourism buit failed because of lack of child care etc then I tryed doing a course in computers near my sons school met new people i liked them they liked me etc BUT like most things because of my binges I never finish what ive started I take two steps forward and 8 steps back everytime and im sick of having to put everything back to order including family home money etc it just seems that anything I try I ruin with alcohol.

As for getting a part time job Ive looked into that several times where im living now and its easier said than done otherwise id jump at the chance ( but probably mess it up) finacially i carnt affored to work. I have even worked as a volunteer to get out the house so I have tryed sooooo many times to get out of a rut but keep ended up on my bum.

I go on the internet alot but theres only so much you can do of that and watch dvds till they come out my ears read books played games console gardening you name it ive tryed.

I know I do sound depressed but really Im not because I know if I had company I would be laughing and joking and just generally happy.

My parents tell me I have to much time to think thats true but where have I gone the dental nurse the person who helped others etc I want to her again but HOW

Phew that was long sorry hope you understand a little better thanks for reading you can have a cuppa tea break now hehehe

Luv Keepon

ps excuse any typing mistakes brain thinks faster than fingers

[Robert Smith]

Raining lonely!!!

MORNING!!!!

Keepon,
I hate rain too but I look at it as liquid sunshine. LONELY & BORED!! Well lets get going girl, no need to stay at home and talk with us all day . Lets see, we can go for a walk, wait raining, damm! O.K., to the gym we go for an hour of cardio on the stepper or
the stationary bike. Last time I was there, there were a dozen hot guys with nice bunzzz.

Putting all jokes aside, I think Flip is on the right track. Get out of the house, and get empowered. AA is not my cup of tea, but hey it could work for you, TRY IT ! I personally
do a lot of fitness. It keeps me in fantastic shape, supplies me with endorphines that kill every pain,negative emotion that I would posess. Then again, you could always become a
hooker?WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I mean rugs, Geeze you guys are warped!

The Sponge

[Keepon!!!!]

Raining lonely!!!

hi Robert you made me laugh first time today thankyou hehehe

I have at home a exercise bike an aerobics reebok step and hard dvd a reebok exercise ball and dvd workout womens weights (little ones)and also a moutain bike which i usually go for a cycle but its raining hehe And i dont fancy exercising because im feeling lazy

But thanks anyway I know exercise cheers me up but ive already scoffed my face of the wrong things today hehe

Hooker thing sounds good but id probably even mess that up hehehehehe just kidding i wudnt do that

Luv Keepon:h

[Robert Smith]

Raining lonely!!!

Keepon!!!!;153656 wrote: hi Robert you made me laugh first time today thankyou hehehe

I have at home a exercise bike an aerobics reebok step and hard dvd a reebok exercise ball and dvd workout womens weights (little ones)and also a moutain bike which i usually go for a cycle but its raining hehe And i dont fancy exercising because im feeling lazy

But thanks anyway I know exercise cheers me up but ive already scoffed my face of the wrong things today hehe

Hooker thing sounds good but id probably even mess that up hehehehehe just kidding i wudnt do that

Luv Keepon:h

Now you've made my day, cuz my goal it to put a smile on the face of others especially those that are down.

Forget exercise at home:baaah: who wants to be the lone sheep.
The point is to get out and meet others. I'm a social butterfly, I have to get out.Left at
home alone I would not do well. Sell the exercise equipment at home and buy a membership at the gym so you can mingle.

[beatle]

Raining lonely!!!

um, I don't really know where this thread is going. I've been popping in and out as I make dinner, feed the kids, get them into bed (3 stories tonight, and not enough to satisfy), wash up, etc. you get the point, but somehow I keep coming back to this thread.

Yeh, it's raining here, too. I am depressed and have been drinking a little after 4, yes 4, weeks AF. (I'm now sober though and shooting for at least 4 more weeks).

That's not the point here-- it's YOU Keepon. And what I'm thinking is you have so much going for you. I hate to admit it but that old Robert Smith Sponge guy is right about getting your but out of the house (though I do not agree with the gym idea-- big waste of money in my opnion) just go out and do something. Yeh, I'm one to talk (as in NOT) but besides spending your whole f-ing day on this website (which I do), getting out is the only way to get a real life. haha, maybe I'll update you on my miserable life later.