February Army Thread

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: February Army Thread

I loved the book, This is How it Always Is. Very insightful. I can't imagine body dysmorphia, but I can relate to the other things you wrote...

Molly, thank you! What a hoot!

Rusty, this area is so flat, I have to drive to Mt. Trashmore to climb anything. Which I did for a bit, and need to start again. My parents live in a 4 story townhouse in Baltimore, and walking up even a flight of those steep steps made me creak.

JC, thank you.

Techie, you're seriously in my thoughts and prayers on the regular. Much, much love and strength to you.

Starty, Scary times... I'm so glad for you.

xo to everyone I haven't mentioned. Going back to lurking now.

[rustop59]

Re: February Army Thread

Good morning everyone

Neva, lovely to see you. Thanks for joining us. You too [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION]. Hope your treatment is going well. We are all thinking of you.

Love the shutters on some of the old houses. I’ll be thinking all things house in a while. Going west on Wednesday. Want to finish off the upstairs room so we can use it as a bedroom in the summer. My SIL is joining me and weather permitting we might climb a mountain.

Walk done and going to enjoy my bank holiday with a bit of crochet.

[JackieClaire]

Re: February Army Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yteMugRAc0

Afternoon from the UK,

Its a glorious day.......... bitter cold but sunny so decided to take Mikey for a long walk. Put my big coat on.
I don't think he'll ever get over pulling on his leash so I've now got one arm longer than the other. I'll admit he's getting better but I trundle along and he just stops and I keep walking. I've come to the conclusion that there is not blade of grass that he hasn't had a pee on and that's just today.

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: February Army Thread

Evening,

Another mixed bag of a day, went to see a movie with a friend, got home and put up my new curtains, of course in the process I knocked something off the windowsill, it broke, oil went everywhere, I couldn't find all the pieces, got exceedingly stressed and annoyed, found out my go to when I'm angry is to get drunk, did not get drunk as I have nothing in the house thank god, but of course now I'm frustrated that my go to response to everything is drinking.

Mary (and others): It's fairly normal for me to be the first trans and/or first non-binary trans person people meet, I'm always happy to answer questions if ever you have any

[mollyka]

Re: February Army Thread

Evening,

Another mixed bag of a day, went to see a movie with a friend, got home and put up my new curtains, of course in the process I knocked something off the windowsill, it broke, oil went everywhere, I couldn't find all the pieces, got exceedingly stressed and annoyed, found out my go to when I'm angry is to get drunk, did not get drunk as I have nothing in the house thank god, but of course now I'm frustrated that my go to response to everything is drinking.

Mary (and others): It's fairly normal for me to be the first trans and/or first non-binary trans person people meet, I'm always happy to answer questions if ever you have any

Of course your go to is to get drunk...it certainly was mine for a fair while...and then just one day...something happened...nothing enormous.. nothing catastrophic...but the sort of thing that would have had me reaching for a drink...and I didn't...not that I didn't drink...I didn't even THINK of a drink...and it felt great...I went to bed that night and realised I hadn't...and I was so happy...it was when I realised the hold drink had had on me was gone...it'll happen Inchy....please trust me ...it will become completely and utterly irrelevant xx

[techie]

Re: February Army Thread

Hello Army friends. Molly, JC, Satzafras, Glassy, Mary, Starty, Ne, Ktab, Rusty, et al. I am at the halfway point in the radiation treatment. The fatigue is the most notable side effect. The real difficult part is being required to have a full bladder for each treatment. Of course, when I need a bathroom the most is on the days that the technician cones out and says, “we are running a bit behind schedule. Yikes.
So, I am looking forward to eventually hearing the oncologist tell me that there in no evidence of disease.

I find it interesting that I no longer think much about drinking or drugging. Illness has a way of shifting one’s perspective on lots of life challenges. I wish you success, Inchy and welcome back to the boards. By the way Mary, I know about the toenail issues. I must have lost all of mine at least twice. More so, in hiking boots than running shoes or trainers as you UK folk say.

Blessings to all x

[mollyka]

Re: February Army Thread

How would we know if we've ever met them or not? Do we need to know ?
What I've learned so far is that gender non-binary means that an individual does not fit into the traditional binary categories of male and female. It's a third gender?
That gender identity is a mind thing. It doesn't have to be connected to our bodies, it is more about how we feel we fit in our community and society as a whole.

Though I suspect we are a couple of generations away from meeting someone and introducing ourselves with “I'm Satz; my pronouns are she/her. What about you?”
Or am I living in my tiny narrow-minded bubble here ?

Well I was watching eating with the enemy (for non-Irish folk it's a show putting 2 people with different lives and views together for dinner and hear their views and very often cordially end up agreeing to differ) and one person introduced themselves as identifying as she/her...First time for me..but as I say Jillys pal is trans and is really happier now..its great to see.

Poor Techie...when going for ultrasound with my 4 babies I remember the horror of the full bladder syndrome! Yes we are rather touchy (with reason historically - have a gander at Mr Google) about being referred to as the UK..quite happy to be referred to as European tho which is more the norm these days, obviously not a personal thing Starty and Jackie are from UK but irrelevant here!!

Cold this morning so tuckled up with a cuppa!

[rustop59]

Re: February Army Thread

Afternoon everyone

Poor Techie, you are going through the wars. At least you are half way through it. You are an example to all of us. Sorry to read that you have such a long wait for an appointment Battle. I am like some of the others, don’t know an awful lot but open to learning.

My working week nearly over. Monday and Friday rolled into one. Travelling west tomorrow so if I don’t get to post I’m up a ladder painting.

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: February Army Thread

Evening all,

changed my work schedule so I work two short days on campus and my longer day from home, so far its made life a whole lot better - if I eat lunch at my desk I finish by 3, home early, can run errands, tidy up and get to studying, first time since I stopped getting high at work I have actually found my job pretty tolerable, dare I say pleasant. Early days but with any luck I've found a way I can keep making enough money to survive without being utterly miserable, at the very least it means I now have a more set sleep schedule as I can roll out of bed a little before 8 every day (compensating for my tendency to stay up til 2am studying haha). A potentially stressful week in progress, should be getting news on my funding, very mindful its a potential major trigger for me, will be good to make it past it.

Molly - thanks for your encouragement, I was starting to feel like I was doing sobriety wrong the amount of times this week I've thought about drinking. Probably most folks feel like they're doing it wrong at first haha.

Techie - keeping you in my thoughts you're really going through it right now, sounds like you're handling it like a badass though.

Satz - I should have qualified I'm often the first -openly- trans person people meet, a lot of folks will have met somebody trans without realising, I make a point of being vocal about my experience to help people understand so the next generation of trans folks hopefully have it easier. I figure it's similar to whether or not we need to know somebody is gay - technically its not necessary in most situations but being visible is a way of fighting stigma so 'coming out' has stayed a thing. You're close with your definition of non-binary - calling it a third gender is kind of a simplification used to explain to people non-binary does not mean somebody identifies as a mixture of male and female it is a separate thing, but its also an umbrella term which covers a whole range of identities, I tend to encourage people to think of gender as more of a spectrum. Getting people to introduce themselves with their pronouns is definitely an uphill struggle - I joined up with the staff LGBT+ network at work and even they didn't initially introduce themselves with pronouns, it was only after I started doing it that they joined in. In general I find people will indicate their pronouns only if they 'clock' somebody as potentially trans, it's definitely a work in progress and I think it will be for quite some time.

Re; UK/Irish issue - I'm UK based but want to defect haha, not necessarily to Ireland, maybe to Scotland if they ever go independent, I live in a very conservative area of the south and I'm not exactly compatible with the way things are around here haha. I changed my name and gender reckon I may as well go all out and change nationality as well.

[mollyka]

Re: February Army Thread

Afternoon everyone

Poor Techie, you are going through the wars. At least you are half way through it. You are an example to all of us. Sorry to read that you have such a long wait for an appointment Battle. I am like some of the others, don’t know an awful lot but open to learning.

My working week nearly over. Monday and Friday rolled into one. Travelling west tomorrow so if I don’t get to post I’m up a ladder painting.

We should be painting down here -- some flaky paint on doors and skirtings -- but d'ya know -- I couldn't be arsed --- the house is really shipshape (bar the skirtings) and saving any spare energy for the garden - tomatoes, peas and perennial hollyhocks planted today and down in the tunnel... spuds chitted and loving it all!!!

Evening all,

changed my work schedule so I work two short days on campus and my longer day from home, so far its made life a whole lot better - if I eat lunch at my desk I finish by 3, home early, can run errands, tidy up and get to studying, first time since I stopped getting high at work I have actually found my job pretty tolerable, dare I say pleasant. Early days but with any luck I've found a way I can keep making enough money to survive without being utterly miserable, at the very least it means I now have a more set sleep schedule as I can roll out of bed a little before 8 every day (compensating for my tendency to stay up til 2am studying haha). A potentially stressful week in progress, should be getting news on my funding, very mindful its a potential major trigger for me, will be good to make it past it.

Molly - thanks for your encouragement, I was starting to feel like I was doing sobriety wrong the amount of times this week I've thought about drinking. Probably most folks feel like they're doing it wrong at first haha.

Techie - keeping you in my thoughts you're really going through it right now, sounds like you're handling it like a badass though.

Satz - I should have qualified I'm often the first -openly- trans person people meet, a lot of folks will have met somebody trans without realising, I make a point of being vocal about my experience to help people understand so the next generation of trans folks hopefully have it easier. I figure it's similar to whether or not we need to know somebody is gay - technically its not necessary in most situations but being visible is a way of fighting stigma so 'coming out' has stayed a thing. You're close with your definition of non-binary - calling it a third gender is kind of a simplification used to explain to people non-binary does not mean somebody identifies as a mixture of male and female it is a separate thing, but its also an umbrella term which covers a whole range of identities, I tend to encourage people to think of gender as more of a spectrum. Getting people to introduce themselves with their pronouns is definitely an uphill struggle - I joined up with the staff LGBT+ network at work and even they didn't initially introduce themselves with pronouns, it was only after I started doing it that they joined in. In general I find people will indicate their pronouns only if they 'clock' somebody as potentially trans, it's definitely a work in progress and I think it will be for quite some time.

Re; UK/Irish issue - I'm UK based but want to defect haha, not necessarily to Ireland, maybe to Scotland if they ever go independent, I live in a very conservative area of the south and I'm not exactly compatible with the way things are around here haha. I changed my name and gender reckon I may as well go all out and change nationality as well.

I think you are doing everything you can to get it right -- it's not an exact science -- and what suits one won't suit another -- we can't ram our 'methods' or what we think is right down someone else's throat -- I thought I should and could many moons ago - and was completely wrong in that... but I think you are doing wonderfully well -- I was years relapsing and 'planning' my next relapse... regularly -- but yeah -- you're doing really really well -- and as I say MORE than normal to think of it -- when we were drinking alcoholically it was pretty much our life - the associations connected to it -- come home from work - have a drink - start cooking - have a drink - have lunch - have a drink - feel sad - have a drink - feel happy - have a drink -- all those associations have to be broken -- and of course they will -- every day you are breaking the association with loads of stuff -- keep it up!!!

Shit -- sorry didn't mention you as a Brit -- my bad -- you've so much going on your nationality never even popped into my head!!!! ;-)

Had a lovely day - walking down at the lake - it was like a millpond - just so beautiful -- got the plants planted and have an amazing dindin --- home made burgers with onion gravy -- super duper roasters and stir fry of green veggies -- stuffed now!

Off to have a shower - need to get up early get to Dublin for medical appt. for Joe at 9am!!!


Edit -- meant to say - you should come and live in Ireland -- from being the most conservative religion riddled little country to now -- really open minded non-judgemental society (imo anyways) no matter what I was or who I chose to be I would be comfortable living here... very proud of being Irish these days!

[mollyka]

Re: February Army Thread

Halllooooooo???!!!
Up in Dublin doing the rounds of family...Joe got the all clear from docs today...just needs a cat-scan once a year...so all good

How are ye? WHERE are ye???

[rustop59]

Re: February Army Thread

Halllooooooo???!!!
Up in Dublin doing the rounds of family...Joe got the all clear from docs today...just needs a cat-scan once a year...so all good

How are ye? WHERE are ye???

Greetings from the west. Up a ladder painting ceiling. Horrible job. Great news about Joe. As Techie said puts everything in perspective. Enjoy every day ! Cousin visiting tomorrow and SIL coming to help, women power.

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: February Army Thread

Evening all,

Working from home today, picked up a second job, just an ad-hoc thing for my uni as a student advisor on inclusivity but its a little extra cash and a chance to make a difference. Lecturers are on strike tomorrow which might impact some news I'm supposed to be getting, I don't exactly thrive on uncertainty so there's a lot of stress around that, but a friend came over with my favourite cookies (they have mini eggs in them for easter) so that was a bright spot for me. Enjoying my studies still.

Satz/Molly - I'm glad things have improved where you are, I have a work friend around the same age as you guys, she emigrated soon as she was old enough to leave, has some horror stories from when she was younger, still not a fan of her home country because of it.

[techie]

Re: February Army Thread

She is Irish Inchy ? Poor girl I wonder what happened to her. i count myself lucky to have escaped with just some mental scars inflicted by nuns.
There were some very very cruel people when she & I were growing up. Mainly those claiming to be 'religious'.
They managed to fool everyone for a long long time and ruined so many young lives..
Thankfully they can no longer get away with abusing kids or degrading women.

It's so much better now - everything is out in the open. Nothing can be hidden.

Bitter & twisted ? moi ? .......... never. :haha:

I want to parochial school. Only I lay teacher (Miss Carter) during my eight years. Thinking about Sister Elise and Sister Stevens torments me still!

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: February Army Thread

Yeah, nasty story involving a friend's botched abortion and the delights of a 'religious' small town community, we got to talking about it when one of my other co-workers went on an anti-choice rant completely unsolicited having known me only a couple days - she was 'religious' too.