April Army Assembly

[starty]

Re: April Army Assembly

Sorry you were left on your own yesterday Molls. I kept meaning to check in but had the most mental day at work. Despite it being a bank holiday over here, I worked 7am to 5 as had so much to do after my break. Still overwhelmingly busy and have to go into the office for a meeting all morning Weds so that will take time out of getting my own stuff done.

Delighted young max is happy again. Always good when the pooches are in good form. I dont like busy places either. A couple of days in a city and that is more than enough for me.

[starty]

Re: April Army Assembly

Satz, I would be fuming too in that situation. Surprised at Mr S drinking in the house when its caused YS (and you) so much issue. How's things today?

Mr S has POA for his parents, and I think its a good thing as they are getting quite forgetful. Hopefully not the beginning of the end but at 87 who knows. How old is your mum?

[rustop59]

Re: April Army Assembly

Morning all

Ferry did not get in until midnight last night. Great few days and really liked that part of Wales. Did two out of the three days hiking. Didn?t bother doing yesterday as there was a lot of scrambling (climbing over rocks) so had a rest day while the other two went out.

Thankfully I took today off work. Just had a quick read back. Sorry you were left on your own Molly. Really don?t blame you Satz, a few days in a nice doggy friendly hotel with Rosie and chocolate might be just what you need. Could not get over how doggy friendly all the restaurants etc were in Wales. Waves to everyone else. I have a mountain of laundry to get through.

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Ahhh bit busier here PTL! Great you're back Rusters and all went well...lovely day here...garden beckons!

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Time for some direct talking.

We've all been there - it's discouraging - we need to put a bit of umph into the thread. We need to talk about alcohol - all the heartbreak it causes - how proud we are of how far we've come - share more...... even though we've shared the same stories 100's of times - that is why we are here. Welcome anyone who joins in - even if it's only a Like / Thanks at least we know they are reading and maybe also look at other threads to see what is being talked about.

Otherwise may as well just go to FB.

If I do a post - I know who will acknowledge I exist & who will not - that is also discouraging.
We've lost so many from the Army and also old friends from other threads who don't drop in any more. Possibly because they cannot relate to anything being said.
A bit like the OZ thread years ago - they always seemed to be a close knit group and one would be afraid to intrude.

Agreed...100%

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Okay...I'm first.
I'm sober quite a long time now....even by AA standards (anyone less than 10 years is considered a newbie)....here gonna finish this on my lapping.....brb

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Okay...I'm first.
I'm sober quite a long time now....even by AA standards (anyone less than 10 years is considered a newbie)....here gonna finish this on my lapping.....brb

Right ---- continuing on..... even by AA standards most of us here are recovering long term --- but...... and it's a BIG 'but' -- I WILL ALWAYS BE PRONE TO ADDICTION ---- now

There is a fiercesome amount of 'stuff' going on in the background of my life at the moment -- family stuff -- not up there with the Satz family I admit - but it's enough to make me feel --- worried, anxious, vulnerable --- now bearing in mind the Serenity Prayer -- no -- there is little or nothing that I can do to fix it -- they aren't MY problems -- and they aren't caused by me -- but I still feel ---- worried, anxious and vulnerable.

On top of that last weekend was a communion which exposed some of the wounds and it physically made me ill.... I got stomach pains, headache (crazy headache) -- and anxiety through the roof -- only normalising now --- (sorry this is long but I need to give context) --- on top of all THAT -- we have the wedding Sat week -- it is so far out of my comfort zone it just isn't funny -- it really isn't.

My question is -- do any of you think of wanting 'something' (it will NEVER be alcohol for me -- I know that -- that's absolutely a given) to help you through a rough stage? My addict personality seems to bypass all the mindfulness, meditation etc etc and screams for 'something' --- no -- scream is too strong a word -- but honestly -- if someone gave me a little jar of pills that told me would make all this easier -- I think I'd be all over it.... and THAT worries me.... don't mention anti-d's or anxiety meds... i've had them in the past and make no difference whatsoever


This is NOT something I'm going to do -- understand that --- I'm just wondering is anyone else like that at all?

[rustop59]

Re: April Army Assembly

Talking to no-one here - so off out to spend loadsamoney in Avoca - that I can't afford. :llama:
Talk later - out with you to the garden .....

I am about to go out in the garden, just back from walking the doggies. Did not realise you were taking something Satz. It is obviously helping you cope. I have often wondered how you manage to put up with all you are going through and it?s wonderful that it is not addictive. That would be my main fear. What keeps me sane is exercise and particularly the hill walking. I do add in the meditation when the family worries and niggles kick in and bother me more than normal.

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Molls .... I would take anything legal that would make me feel better. Short term of course. I have Zanex for AGES for travelling - mainly MrS needs them. I find that they would not do anything for me any more. Was I time I'd LOVE to get my hands on them :haha:

You & I both started on non addictive Sertraline years ago around the same time. I continue to take it & really I dunno if I could go through the shite I do without it. I'm sure I might but not bothered to find out. Taking one at night helps me sleep (I think) there are no side effects - apart from being less over- emotional about things. And I can accept that ....

I think you believe taking any drug as somehow a failure ? or maybe a hangover from the treatment centre that EVERYTHING was banned - understandably, to avoid replacing alcohol, even sugar, ?
But I also believe that as with Diabetics, Thyroid issues , etc - as we age we can just be low in something like Serotonin and if there is a drug to fix that shortfall I will embrace it.
Here - they are talking about vaping on radio - nice fruity flavour , maybe try that :egad:

Oh god no --- I have absolutely NO problem taking something as prescribed -- just the anti-depressants 'didn't work' -- tried quite a few of them actually -- no difference whatsoever -- when I finally threw them there - stopped cold turkey -- made no difference either -- apparently some folks are like that -- Xanax I might be more worried about as they are somewhat mind altering... but did take them a couple of times and didn't like how they made me feel... so yeah --- that's my reasoning -- actually the treatment centre had NO problem with anti-d's -- they positively encouraged them if required

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

I am about to go out in the garden, just back from walking the doggies. Did not realise you were taking something Satz. It is obviously helping you cope. I have often wondered how you manage to put up with all you are going through and it?s wonderful that it is not addictive. That would be my main fear. What keeps me sane is exercise and particularly the hill walking. I do add in the meditation when the family worries and niggles kick in and bother me more than normal.

I don't think anti-d's are in anyway addictive Rusters -- they just are s'posed to make you feel normal if you suffer depression, no kick off of them!!!

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

Now we've discovered the downside of living down here --- apparently grandparents day is on 9th --- the wedding is on the 13th.... ffs -- stay up all week or drive around ......... and now Joe has a toothache -- and whereas we thought about registering with a doctor we never thought of a dentist -- FFS -- 'oh we aren't taking new patients' --- he'll be like a bear with a sore head!!!!

Out to the garden -- we're going to have a bbq this evening -- it's an absolutely beautiful afternoon!

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

2 questions Molls.
1) Why do you say down for Co Mayo ? when it's up the country ? As in North West.
2) What the feck is grandparents day - never heard of it. Sounds madey -up to annoy you Molls :haha:

Now....I dont know why I say 'down' as in it's really straight across (South Mayo...practically Galway)...just feels like strange saying we came straight across here to live:applouse:
Grandparents day is a real thing achully....Joe went to Simons young lads one and a little fella tried to adopt Joe cos he had no grandad....when Joe was going home he took Joe's hand and started walking out with him....can you just IMAGINE:belchha:

[IamMary]

Re: April Army Assembly

All the primary schools celebrate grandparents day these days. My folks used to love it.. no parents invited, just the grandparents.

Molly, you do have a lot on too. 100% agree with satz.. talk to a doctor, lots of alternatives to anti ds.
Have you ever tried hypnosis or acupuncture?
I'd like to think I wouldnt reach for a drink either if life pushed hard enough, but who knows. Right now, the running does the job but one day that will stop too.
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] it's still all going on there. Don't blame you for threatening to leave or better still, kick that pair out.
How's your brother?

Well done Rustop, sounds absolutely magic!!
Also have POA for my folks [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION], 79, 82. Will definitely setup for Mr M and I at some point.

[mollyka]

Re: April Army Assembly

All the primary schools celebrate grandparents day these days. My folks used to love it.. no parents invited, just the grandparents.

Molly, you do have a lot on too. 100% agree with satz.. talk to a doctor, lots of alternatives to anti ds.
Have you ever tried hypnosis or acupuncture?
I'd like to think I wouldnt reach for a drink either if life pushed hard enough, but who knows. Right now, the running does the job but one day that will stop too.
[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] it's still all going on there. Don't blame you for threatening to leave or better still, kick that pair out.
How's your brother?

Well done Rustop, sounds absolutely magic!!
Also have POA for my folks [MENTION=22456]starty[/MENTION], 79, 82. Will definitely setup for Mr M and I at some point.

Yeah....no ...I think you miss my point...I'm really okay to manage these things...and any worry or anxiety is truly at normal (well normal for me I s'pose) levels...but do you remember when you were stressed or bothered or just plain tired how even the THOUGHT of that big glass of wine would literally melt it all away? That's really what I mean... in sobriety do you miss the 'fix'? That's all!

How did the confirmation go?

[techie]

Re: April Army Assembly

Hi all. It has taken me years to quiet my monkey mind. I had to teach myself that the thoughts in my head are just thoughts. They are not really me. I am just the observer. So, one could say the ego is the thought and the soul or higher self is the observer. Meditation has become my staple. I start my day with meditation and breath work. 20 minutes and I am done. It begins with something I am grateful for m, my spouse, my sobriety, the warm Sun, etc. anything that gets me out of my head and more toward something positive. We all struggle with life. It is not easy. So, when overwhelm sets in, I go to a naturopathic pill that really works. It?s called Calms Forte. The company is Hylands. They are available on Amazon and they work. I hope this helps!?

Love hugs and light to all. Now I?m heading out for a run. When I just can?t do that anymore I will walk. Very quickly until I cannot, hahaha. Blessings x