I am having trouble on weekend mornings

[tryingtoohard]

I am a librarian that has to get to work about 6:15 AM during the week- I have a pretty stressful job (school librarian).

Monday through Friday I rarely drink; I don't even really think about it. I come home, take a nap- eat dinner. During the week I take my vitamins, get exercise-- I doubt anyone that sees me at work would even guess that I have a problem.

Saturday morning? I have a shot of vodka before I even finish my coffee. and then I continue drinking and sleeping all weekend. Monday mornings I always have severe anxiety and the shakes. Seven years ago it was so bad that I was vomiting, and could not go to work. Of course, working in a school- everyone assumed I had a "virus that was going around."

Does anyone have any insight as to why this might be happening? It is horribly affecting my life- I am wasting gorgeous weekends- not seeing or speaking to friends, not working in the garden, and my house is a mess.

[Lavande]

Re: I am having trouble on weekend mornings

Hi tryingtoohard!

The scenario you describe sounds a lot like what I was going through many years ago. I would hold it together all during the week then fall apart on my weekends off. Being a medical professional I refused to believe I was suffering from depression related anxiety but that’s exactly what it was. I tried talking to my doctor & he looked at me like i have seven heads & offered no help. I let this go on for too many years before I realized I was just making everything much worse with alcohol. That’s when I decided to quit drinking all together & do some inner work on myself. I joined this group, made lots of great friends & learned a lot about myself. I’ve been AF for 15 years this month & it was hands down the best decision I’ve ever made..
Take a look in the Tool box, jot down some ideas to make a good plan for y ourself & get. To work. You’ll never be sorry, I promise. Remember, the amount you’re drinking now is only likely to get worse as time goes on, that’s the nature of the devil.
Pop into some threads & settle yourself in with like minded folk.

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Mulburry]

Re: I am having trouble on weekend mornings

I'll second pretty much everything Lavande said. I for a while too would make it through the week ok, and then go hard as soon as the weekend hit (sometimes use drugs ontop of drinking). This inevitably escalated to occaissional midweek drinking and eventually daily drinking, and into a complete and utter nightmare. Much better to nip this in the bud now, before things get worse, because they inevitably will. Weekend binging cannot only have negative health (and psychological) effects, but you can actually develop a physical dependence as well (if you start to notice midweek sleep disturbances, increased anxiety etc. watch out).

[tryingtoohard]

Re: I am having trouble on weekend mornings

Thank you. My anxiety is out the roof this morning. I am wearing the same clothes I came home in on Friday. Getting ready to take a shower and leave for work. If I weren't going to work, I would have had a drink already this morning to "calm my nerves."

[Lavande]

Re: I am having trouble on weekend mornings

Tryingtoohard,

I’m in agreement with Mulburry, get your quit plan together asap! Help yourself while you can, you won’t be sorry :hug: