Everyone here is so wonderful. I really don't want to dump my problems on you. But sometimes I have no other group of friends who can understand me. Forgive me if I bore you.
Today was my birthday - turned 55. My husband and I always go out for a nice dinner on my birthday - nothing terribly fancy, but we have been doing it for years - just a special little thing so I don't have to cook. We don't got out very often.
I have so much to say, but will spare you the details. At dinner, I did not order wine. Many of you know that I have been AF for about three years now- with a few sips of wine or beer about every year or 6 months. I am a serious alkie, but am very happy and proud of my abilities to take a few sips in social situations and then just walk away from it. Nobody but my friends here can understand how difficult this has been.
Anyhow, I did not order a glass of wine, but my hubby did. They poured me a glass and he a glass. I nursed mine all night with only a few tiny sips. I had taken my Kudzu. He drank three glasses. After dinner I ordered an espresso which I always love, and I asked for a tiny shot of anisette in it. The waitress brought me a wonderful cup of espresso and a large glass of anisette. I did not put any of the anisette in my coffee.
At that point my husband went totally off on me. He said that the fact that I drank 1/2 glass of wine and ordered anisette (even though I didn't drink any of it) was a terrible sign that I am still an alcoholic who can't control my drinkingl I admit I am an alcoholic, but was actually very proud that I drank in a controlled and what I consider to be a societially acceptabe manner.
I am very sorry to say that I think that once you become honest even with ones you love - once you have that label of an alcoholic - it never goes away - no matter how hard you work and try. Maybe we will always be dirtbags in the eyes of others. I hope notl
Today was my birthday - turned 55. My husband and I always go out for a nice dinner on my birthday - nothing terribly fancy, but we have been doing it for years - just a special little thing so I don't have to cook. We don't got out very often.
I have so much to say, but will spare you the details. At dinner, I did not order wine. Many of you know that I have been AF for about three years now- with a few sips of wine or beer about every year or 6 months. I am a serious alkie, but am very happy and proud of my abilities to take a few sips in social situations and then just walk away from it. Nobody but my friends here can understand how difficult this has been.
Anyhow, I did not order a glass of wine, but my hubby did. They poured me a glass and he a glass. I nursed mine all night with only a few tiny sips. I had taken my Kudzu. He drank three glasses. After dinner I ordered an espresso which I always love, and I asked for a tiny shot of anisette in it. The waitress brought me a wonderful cup of espresso and a large glass of anisette. I did not put any of the anisette in my coffee.
At that point my husband went totally off on me. He said that the fact that I drank 1/2 glass of wine and ordered anisette (even though I didn't drink any of it) was a terrible sign that I am still an alcoholic who can't control my drinkingl I admit I am an alcoholic, but was actually very proud that I drank in a controlled and what I consider to be a societially acceptabe manner.
I am very sorry to say that I think that once you become honest even with ones you love - once you have that label of an alcoholic - it never goes away - no matter how hard you work and try. Maybe we will always be dirtbags in the eyes of others. I hope notl
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