I wish I knew...

[Pisces]

I wish I knew...

Again, thanx to everyone for the support, I really needed it... big time!

I wish I could live with Homer Simpson under the sea, with sponge too...

Will keep up with my diving course and hope to sea you there, he he, and never come back. I have to admit to being the student that never wants to come back up... What a wonderful world down there,,, Love Jas xxx

[hart]

I wish I knew...

(((Jas))

Have you ever gotten counseling for your abuse? Also, I too want to say congrats on winning your award!:goodjob: I also agree you should move out and away. I think keeping in touch with your parents, may be toxic for you. I was molested too, so I am prejudiced, but I don't know who I would be more upset with my dad who did that or a mom who wouldn't believe it. Have you ever been able to express anger? Or do you drink it away.......?

I care.:l

[Saint Jude]

I wish I knew...

Jas,
:goodjob: and congratulations on your award! I'm a firm believer that your true family is not always one of blood bonds.. but of repect & joy in each others lives... We're not always born into our true familys.

I think like many have already said, it's time for you to move on. You're worth so much more than your birth parents give you credit for.
Sending you big hugs....:l :l

PS I wish my Grandfather were still around so I could slap him once or twice.. now that I'm old to enough to realize...just how inapropriate he was!

[Guest]

I wish I knew...

You should be so proud of your reward jas.

As for your living arrangements...............don`t be a pushover for noone, not even parents. You`re a grown woman. Tell them that house is their responsibility, not yours, then get yourself a home of your own........you deserve it!!!

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[imatree]

I wish I knew...

Hey Jas, ditto to everything everyone has said, including Congratulations!
I hated how my parents could make me wither into a lost little girl. Lots of bad shit. I remember the moment my anger shifted from my dad for the abuse to my mom for not protecting me. That was even worse.

Anyhoo... here and now... DO WHAT YOU MUST. Period. As I've expressed in other threads, I'm making big life changes to save myself and my daughter. It's not as hard as separating from parents, but in essence is the same - WE MUST CLAIM OUR SELVES.

I'm the same age as you. I am noticing that here in the early 40s as a woman I am absolutely driven - sometimes it seems by a force unbeknownst to me - to finally claim my life as my own. It's not easy, doing so hurts here where it involves letting go of family and loved ones. But I tell you what... it's about frigging time. This is a HUGE step for those women among us who have been "victims" as children and have known no other way to live life, no other place to take, except to be victim to the hurting of others.
Again I say, it is time...
WE MUST CLAIM OUR SELVES.

[Pisces]

I wish I knew...

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to say thanks again, its good but not good if you know what I mean, to not be alone in feeling the way I do about my parents and know people here understand.

I started looking at rentals today and hope to move out in the next few weeks, I know I'll feel alot better when I do, and then I intend to distance myself, a safe distance, and work on reclaiming my self.... :h

Love to all xxxx Jas

[diamond]

I wish I knew...

Hi Jas,

Good for you, you did well at work and now you are sorting out your health both physical and mental, I had a similar problem and I too am early 40's. I don't know how my marriage survived - I am truly nasty at times. I know how you feel my Dad only has to say something and I am a little girl again wanting to be loved and given praise.

My Dad admitteda couple of years ago that he had been wrong (no sexual abuse though), that he shouldn't have hit me etc, blah, blah but it was too late for my emotional health.

Well, I won't go into everything here but please I made a move and live more than 100 miles away so that contact is limited. I feel sorry for my kids not having that much contact with them - but that's the price we pay for sanity.

Be strong, they won't die if you move out, and wait for the next trick, it will be one of them is ill and you can't move or some other similar trick, be sympathetic to them but still move please.

Look after yourself, Love Diamond xx

[YoungAtHeart]

I wish I knew...

It has always struck me how abusive people are so good at manipulating you into feeling that you have ABUSED THEM! I lived with someone for a year and a half who was abusive, and it was amazing to me that he continually felt like a victim.

At any rate, Jas, you are doing the right thing. It is so important for you to separate from this, both physically and emotionally, in order to find some peace and space for yourself. Your parents sound so self-absorbed and so unable to support you. It is very sad that they are this way when all you want is to be close to them, but I am so glad that you are taking steps to take care of yourself.

Judie is right that sometimes we must make a family out of people who love and respect us, whether it is with a partner or with a group of friends. It's not only just the family that we were born to. (Judies didn't just put it that way, though. )

I'm wishing you all the best, Jas. Keep us posted.

Thinking of you! :l Jasmin:l

Kathy

PS: Diamond is right, there may be another manipulative trick around the corner! Stay alert!

[Saint Jude]

I wish I knew...

I must give credit to that quote in my post.

"The bond that links your true family
is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in
each others life.

Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."

Richard Bach from "Illusions" (one of my favorite books of all time!)


Here's another...

"You are never given a wish without also given the power to make it come true.
You may have to work for it however..."

[Pisces]

I wish I knew...

Hi,

I've just reread all the advice and support I've received from my post.

The olds went home today, and I feel ok, due directly to all your kind words and understanding, I used to think I was the only one, or the only one I knew that had these issues that I had met, so I basically want to say the BIGGEST THANKYOU to everyone for helping me get through this week.

I said in another post, that by now I would be going down, and would take at least a few weeks to get my head above water again, but I'm feeling ok, and more reflective than down and out.

I can't express enough how much you've all helped me cope through the week, and I'm seeing light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. ( it was emotional, sexual, and when I was old enough to say no, it was physical, the gauntlet)

Thank you all so much,

Heaps of Love to all, Jasmin xxxxoooo

[hereatlast]

I wish I knew...

oh jas i am so sorry you are right parents should be there for you my kids are everything to me my daughter is my best freind. all i can do is send you a big hug and say well done on your award xx