Questions- This might be interesting

[Guest]

I was just thinking about how there seem to be common things that people who drink (or have problems with drinking) tend to experience/have in common. So I would like to start a thread to get an idea as to who has exprienced the following:

1) Feelings of wanting to "fit in" - not ever feeling like you're able to
2) Awkward in social situations - drinking makes you more outgoing etc.
3) People have told you you thrive on drama
4) People bullied you or teased you in school
5) Trust issues

I can tell you - as a starter - that every single one of those applies to me. AND, a lot of people I have met who were/are drinkers were the same way.
I think it might be interesting/progressive to explore this - then maybe we can talk, together, about these underlying issues...
Thoughs?
Cheers to all - hope you are all having a good day
Hugs
Jen

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Jenneh,

I can relate to all but number three. I definitley think these ar e all factors, maybe more so for women? I'd be curious to hear anyone else's thoughts. I think it started with wanting to fit in, then I got rejected, so then trust issues came in... can be a bad mental cycle. That's why its good to have as many days ABS as you can, b/c you can really ponder these things, (as yucky as it is... makes you want to drink in and of itself... should we add that as number six?) HA!

I definitely think there is a link between confidence/ self-esteem and drinking for me. And wanting to numb pain, and that pain is usually a result of poor choices I made due to lack of self esteem...

Anyhoo...
my thoughts

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

This is interesting Jenna,
I can relate to all but #3 (I'm Libran so hate drama!)
My childhood has given me trust/fitting in issues both at home & at school was a sickly asthmatic when young so missed alot of school and didn't get the social network learning quite right.
Allie put it the way I pretty much feel. You just want to deaden all that anxiety & worry.
Have always had trouble choosing friends (always seem to pick the looney ones!) :
Love Shas

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Re Questions

Hmmmm
Good point there - I always chose the kind of off-centre (loony) friends too.
Lets add that to the list too.
Choosing "loony" friends.
Hee hee
Jen

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Yep...most all apply....not 3 so much. Funny how we drink to fit in and be accepted and then when we drink too much just the opposite happens - and we (potentially) make an ass of ourselves or at least think that we have made an ass of ourselves and that creates more anxiety and then we drink ...... Really is a bad cycle.
I wasn't really bullied at school but I certainly did not feel like I fit in. I made friends with the "odd ones out".
I have been abs for 15 days now and I'm starting to enjoy the being in control part.
I have romanticized drinking for so long that it has taken awhile to realize that not drinking is so much better.
I think for me the idea of drinking is always better than actually doing it.
I love the idea of coming home and pouring a glass of wine - I even love wine glasses.
I have had lots more anxiety about what I may have said or done while drinking though than actual work or social anxiety.
But for some reason.....I have been able to come to the conclusion again and again that I should have a few drinks before during and after....any event.
Not sure if I stayed on topic there...:
No sophisticated glass of wine for me tonight
Lisa

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Hey Lisa,
I too love those wine glasses so when we have company I have cranberry juice & a splash of soda in it! That way I feel pretty cool:smokin
Love Shas

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Yes -- I lke the topic too Jen. Also YoungAt Heart is a treasure chest of wisdom in this area -- we should try to get her to weigh in. Yes -- all self-esteem based issues I suppose. I think your # 3 is an outliar and prob. has more to with outward personality type. I have all the others & also attract looney tunes into my life. HOWEVER, these looney tunes are typically much more interesting & smarter than others. (My daughter has a whole theory on what society calls "crazy women"..).

I like the term "fringe-dweller" -- that seems to sum it up for me. I can trace it way back to my relationship with my father & also being very short in school. But the real damage came from the Dad thing & then wanting to suppress the pain. Perhaps -- we - those with this chemical imbalance- suppress the pain with drugs. Others do it another way --But how I ask --How??? Oh I know...More later...Interesting. Good thread. Chrysa

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

1) Feelings of wanting to "fit in" - not ever feeling like you're able to-
I really dont get a flying you know what abt what anyone thinks except my boss who in reality pays my mortgage which is kinda important
2) Awkward in social situations - drinking makes you more outgoing etc.-
true to some extent- but these are the situations to avoid. I would rather be exercising, or drinking alone, most of the time. I do understand the point though
3) People have told you you thrive on drama-
no, i dislike drama queens and kings. they take too much energy. therefore i keep any possibe personal drama private (and believe me, i have some!!!) or reserved for chat and i keep as anonymous as possible in chat
4) People bullied you or teased you in school-
i live in real-time who cares what happened in the past? rise above.
5) Trust issues -
esp. interesting question- i am not a super trusting person, which i think is smart. however, i drink because it tastes and it feels good- not because i have " trust issues"

and yes, i did flunk out of therapy- or did they flunk me??

i very much appreciate the questions. thank you

[Guest]

Questions- This might be interesting

Oh my god! That's hits the nail on head. (except for 3). I have to admit I'm amazed at how common so many drinking traits are. All this time I thought I was the ONLY one dealing with stuff like this.

Allie, not just for women either though I think a male is in the minority at MWO. Oh well right?