My cousin has been an alcoholic for 25+ years. For the past 5 years things have gotten pretty bad...he no longer works, rarely even baths anymore, hides alcohol all over the place, is having seizures, it is REALLY bad...I mean worse than I have ever seen. He lives with my Aunt and she has literally tried everything. Can't really have him committed for longer than 72 hrs at a time, which does nothing really...which is where she is today. Because last night he broke out a window in her house and destroyed his room. When she got him to the hospital he is so "bottomed out" they told her had she not have brought him in, he probably would have been dead in a couple more days...he is OUT of alcohol at the moment...I tried to explain to her he CAN'T just be cut off. He's been drinking to long....He can't go cold turkey. They live in Oklahoma...can anyone help me....he is not really wanting help, but he is going to die if she doesn't commit him somewhere...she is not married and he is not either and he lives with her...(they say that makes a differnce...not sure why). Maybe if he got a clear head, he could get a start...he hasn't had one in so long, who knows.....I KNOW, he has to WANT IT...NO ONE needs to tell me that....BUT, IF he's DRUNK off his butt for 25 years he no longer knows what he wants...he has to sobber up first. That is my point....we have to get him sobber. How can we get him sobber without killing him?
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My cousin
sorry to hear all this luvuall.
he needs a good rehab. Aren't there any in oklahoma? why can't he be committed for longer than 72 hours? -
My cousin
Luvuall
This is such a tough one. It sounds to me like you are being so caring and giving and want to help your cousin. I have never been that bad myself and have never had a relative who was, so I don't know if I can help at all. My best guess would to be to try to get in touch with Oklahoma City mental health department - but mental health departments are usually overwhelmed and pretty much useless.
I am really not a religious person, but is there some kind of Church in the area that can help him? Take him in? Shelter him? Take some burden off your aunt? Hopefully help him turn his life around and get and keep him in touch with the social services he probably needs.
Sometimes it makes us remember how much worse off we could be. Teaches us not to blame but to only try to help those with worse problems.
This is a terrible disease. We all have to try to help others.
Good luck.
:h :hRest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.Comment
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My cousin
Luv, so sorry to hear about your cousin. Such a sad story. You have enough on your plate right now and it is hard to change someone if they are not willing to make the change. 72 hours is not long enough for someone in his condition. Are there any state sponsored rehabs that would allow him to stay longer and get the help he really needs?I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship meComment
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My cousin
You are right Lushy...I can't offer any help to my Aunt, but I thought maybe someone in my MWO family would have some experience in this and could offer some advice I could pass on.Comment
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My cousin
Luv that is truely awful. He is affecting so many people and is unaware of the impact... Does he have a Doctor? or does your Aunt maybe... Sounds like he is going to have to medically detox forsure... With this progressive situation, your Aunt may not truely as you said earlier know the dangers... I so wish I could help you out more... Definately though he needs professional help... I hope and pray he gets the help he needs... You poor Dear.
~ I hear a whinny on the wind~Comment
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My cousin
So sorry about your cousin LuvUAll. I have a cousin just the same. I tried & tried to help him as did every member of his family & 4 children.
I think Lush as a very good idea about a state facility, or a hospital or if he is a Vet, a VA hospital.
But all you can do is give info, and make a few phone calls to help. I know it is hard, but believe us there is nothing more that you can do for him, except pray. He has to come to it himself.Comment
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My cousin
OH by the way 72 hrs is how long someone is committed before they go before the judge...in most staes within the USA...Comment
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My cousin
He is at the hospital now...heart, kidneys, etc...all vital organs had began to shut down today. They couldn't even put in an IV..had to put in an emergency port...poor soul. perhaps the hospital will try to help my Aunt find something...anything. I know everyone HATES state facilities, but anything is better than what he is doing to himself. He is such a beautiful person. She said he tore up the house looking for a letter I wrote him. He wanted to read it.
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My cousin
Awwww LUVUALL,
My heart goes out to you for caring so much.
Am praying that your cousin gets the help he needs and gets well.
Yourself and your aunt are in my prayers also.
Much love,
Starlight ImpressComment
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My cousin
Hi,
Just want to add my sympathy at what is a heartbreaking situation.
And I agree that when it gets to this level, a person is past wanting to help themselves get sober, they can only try and survive by getting the alchoholl they need to keep at a level they can survive at. I can only think that he is at the stage of needing mental help, and it's made me wonder why rehabs depend on the person actively wanting to help themself get sober, when you are not with it mentally you are unable to make these decisions, and just as when someone has tried to commit suicide needs mental help, so too does a person that is literally killing themselves with alcohol..... society gives the mentally ill a break and takes the responsibilty from them and gives them the help they so desperately need, (we like to think so anyway??) why not to cronic alcoholics who are killing themselves???? Maybe there are places that do, I hope so.
Sending you a BIG hug... Hope some good comes out of this.
Love Jas xxxxx:thanks: :hComment
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My cousin
Luv, It's so tragic and I'm so sorry. Lord knows you have had so much to deal with.I'm afraid I just don't have any anwsers. You have my prayers and thoughts
Hugs
MarComment
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My cousin
Janie you and the social worker finally made arrangments or you and your sister worked hard together?Comment
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My cousin
Luvuall, I am so sorry. You have so much to deal with already. I hope Janie has more suggestions. I unfortunately have none, the hospital released a suicidal family member the minute they were no longer suicidal with absolutely no plan for aftercare. More prayers for you!Comment
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My cousin
Luvuall....I can only give you my prayers and hopes from over the seas. Love to you. Bella xxxComment
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