I Get Scared I cant quit

[bird]

Sometimes I really wonder.I see so many people on here just like me. AF for a few then in a mess again. I have been trying to quit for 20 years or more. I know how that sounds. Has anyone else been trying so long? I get some time in here and there but it never lasts. bird

[Pisces]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Hi, I feel the same way, go good for a bit then back to square one and I just get exhausted.

And you read about celebrites falling off the wagon all the time, and they have all the money and resources available to them.

I just don't want to give up the hope that I can do this, even when sometimes it looks hopeless, at at least I know when I'm trying, I do better than when I just give in.

Try to stay positve, I am...

Luv Jas xxxx

[morrison]

I Get Scared I cant quit

bird, DEFINATELY don't stop trying. I know its easy to get disgusted. Shit, I first got hammered in 7th grade and almost died. I was back at it weeks later. I tried to quit even in high school. I knew I was f***ed way back then. Tried to quit a thousand times. However, it seems each time I give a full out attempt, I go longer. I beleive one of these days its gonna stick. I'm just glad I'm not drinking everyday. Hang in there. One of alcohols many tricks, and there are many, is to make you think you have no hope. Don't believe in the whole "I am powerless to alcohol" Bullshit. That is negative thinking. Just do your very best, and you'll be fine.

Sorry if this sounds condescending, it is not meant to be, but you can't tell verbal tones on a chatboard.

[lushy]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Yes Bird I know that feeling of despair, wondering if I am ever going to get my act together. But then I remember this is all within my control. I make a choice to buy the wine, keep it in the house, pour it into the glass and drink it. I am MUCH better than I was a year ago when I found this place and every day I try and make some improvement in this arena, even if it is the smallest change. And I bet you have too. Keep focusing on what you have done well and find ways, no matter how little they are, to keep improving. At least we do not have our heads in the sand thinking there is nothing wrong with how much we drink. That has to count for something.

[paula]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Hi Bird, know how you feel, I had been drinking for over 25 years (mainly binge) and have
not had a drink now for 4 months. I have managed to go longer before when I went to
AA, but I'm hoping to stay sober now, but looking at just one day at a time.
Wishing you well. Paula.

[Beaches]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Bird,
Just keep trying. It does get so frustrating, I know. We go along so well then get cocky and it all goes to hell. Each time we learn a little more then all of a sudden it all comes together. Just don't give up.

[kali]

I Get Scared I cant quit

I know you feel - I went a complete week, and then just blew it last night, once again... Hang in there... I hope I will be able to quit too.

[sujul]

I Get Scared I cant quit

It wasn't until I was so desperate that I was willing to do whatever it took that I sent myself off to rehab...it wasn't a fun experience, in fact it was awful--but I was willing to do anything I had to to get back my life. I finally had no more excuses or promises or "plans"--I just had to shock myself out of my delusion that my drinking was somehow going to get better on its own.

Once I was ready to do whatever it took--even rehab--then it all got easier. It wasn't that rehab itself got me sober--it was the message I sent to myself by being willing to go. After that, EVERY decision was made in terms of whether or not it would help me stay AF or not--because if I didn't keep alcohol out of my life then nothing else much mattered.

It's not what we want to hear but I finally understood the most important thing of all--there are no shortcuts. I had to be willing to do whatever I had to--and only then did I finally free myself of this nightmare.

I only wish it were easier...but it's not.....

~~

[lucky 2.0]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Bird,

I am listening to myself as I write this to you but your language really struck me because it sounds defeatest. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is a new day. Do not live in the past. And if you tell yourself you always fail, you will always fail.

Sorry if it sounds like I am slapping you with a wet noodle. Well, I am not really sorry but you know what I mean.

You will succeed bird. And it is only about today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. And it is really just about this minute in time. I hate AA but I do think that the "just for today" mindset is a good one.

Be well.

[SKendall]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Bird, I know how you feel, it is awful and thinking of giving up the best friend is frightening. Make a plan with all of the MWO suggestions. Supplements, CD's (very effective) and posting here every day.

It's doable, but horribly difficult. Let us help you.

[bird]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Thanks for all that. When I look back I am better than I have been. Seems like I'm in a rut lately. I will keep trying. bird

[irishlady]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Bird, my heart goes out to you and I so wish I could wave a magic wand over everyone here and make their wish come true, but I can't...

We all have or had our reasons for drinking the way we do, so we each of us must find our own way out.. Everything is there to help us, all the tools are laid out in front of us, but, you have to be the one to pick the right tools for you.. What worked for me may not necessarily work for you...

Although I have only been with MWO for nine months the journey to get to this point in my life took me over ten years.. It scares the sh*t out of me sometimes when I think of the state I would be in now if I had given up giving up..

Its funny, but I have just checked the date and it was exactly nine months ago today that I took the first step on this journey... I remember, Saturday 30th Sept 2006 and I was sitting here feeling like death, constantly going to the bathrom to throw up because the night before I had drunk almost three bottles of wine for the first time.. That was MY wakeup call... For me, one bottle of wine was an enjoyable way to spend an evening, two bottles meant I was in danger of losing control and feeling hungover the next day, but so what, I only did the two bottles on a Saturday night, then, three bottles !!!! I realised that if that carried on then I would end up in some deep dark place and I would never get out.. I knew I had run out of time and it WAS now or never...

I found that once I had got past the physical part of craving then the rest of it was in my head.. You have to keep on feeding yourself positive thoughts, try to find out WHY you drink the way you do, there is always a reason, I found that meditation was a great help for this and I now meditate every day.. Again, its not something that will work after a few days, it takes time, as someone said on here a while back, we are all works in progress..


So, if things aren't working for you right now it doesn't mean you are a failure, unless you give up altogether, just have a re-think, try something different... Instead of going a whole week AF, try just two days to start with, then slowly increase it, but try not to think of it as something hard to do, think of it as the next place you want to be, get yourself excited about reaching that stage..

A good visualisation for this is to sit quietly and close your eyes, imagine yourself as a butterfly in a chrysalis, very, very slowly the casing around you begins to split, and slowly bit by bit you start to emerge, it seems to take for ever but suddenly, you are free to spread your wings in the sunshine, you have the freedom now to fly where ever you want to.. repeat this several times a day, especially if you have a craving, really concentrate on the image, imagine your body squashed up and then slowly emerging and stretching.. It does work...

Well, that was a ramble, but hope it helps..

Remember, NEVER GIVE UP GIVING UP,

Love, Louise :h

[Kitty]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Dear Bird,

Hang in there, we miss you in Newbies. Come back and let us know how you are doing.

You can do this, as Irish said don't give up giving up, I always like that.


Kitty

[Guest]

I Get Scared I cant quit

I think that everytime you try it gets a little easier than the last time. It takes time to re programme our brains! Good luck and keep on trying.

[Guest]

I Get Scared I cant quit

Bird,

I think there`s very much a `right time` for each of us and we all just gotta keep trying our best until we reach our own right time and then everything begins to fall into place. I thought I couldn`t do it, but have managed to cut my drinking enormously. You will get there...........just as I and countless others have.

Much love,

Starlight Impress