Where is Rachel?

[morrison]

Where is Rachel?

Hey bootcampbarbie. I appreciate the compliment, but sometimes I am not very cute, and downright ugly. Of course, I know what that comes from. I wish a had a women in my life that thought I was cute. Haha. Things haven't been going too well, but pretty sure that is mostly my fault. Also, why do you call me mayor Morrison? I have about as much credibility as Mayor Marion Barry, or better yet, Mayor McCheese.

[rachel28]

Where is Rachel?

thanks morrison, i think u r lovely, u seem 2 make so much sense to me, especially when im not slaughtered, i have re read so many posts, an if any 1 could c my red face! i cried like a baby a lot thu , fri, but i think i got a lot out my system, not cried like that 4 a long time, not out of anger like usual, but proper tears, your post has had my head in over drive, i must say it s what has made me think everytime i want a beer, i normally just drink till its gone i have thought about each 1, an the num of times i went to get a can, but stopped, an thought, free will, an it s working, ok im not af but, im not drunk an im thinking, thanks morrison, u r wonderful, justu need 2 start beliving it, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[morrison]

Where is Rachel?

Rachel, your post inspires me. I didn't realize I had that much of an impact on anybody's life, and it flatters me like you wouldn't believe. I've gotten a lot of compliments on here, and it makes me blush. I am such a mess, it is hard to believe I have helped, so thank you for letting me know that. People always tell me things to compliment me in my life. I just can't take compliments well, cause I feel like such a screw up. I sometimes think that I have the Catholic guilt you hear about. I'm not a practicing Catholic by any means now, and haven't been to church in over a decade. I just remember being made to feel so bad when I was younger. Ahh, maybe I'm just making excuses. But I do have a guilt issue, and sometimes it just eats me up. I will try to like myself again. I hope you can do the same for yourself too. You deserve it.

[rachel28]

Where is Rachel?

i dont think u credit youself nearly enough, u should, know its hard, i find it hard 2 not that there is much right i ve done 4 years, guilt is a shit, thats for sure, guilts what makes me keep chasing round an round in a vicious cycle,
im still not sure what im gonna do to get rid a the guilt, i guess by start bein so much better 2 my kids, start enjoying them again, then thats 1 huge part a the guilt, to do that i know the beer has got 2 go, if im gonna do this i got 2 try an get my head right, dr cant give me a magic pill,, it s MY FREE WILL, that s the tip of the ice berg,

im gonna c a councellor to, b4 they give me detox drugs, i cant decide if councelling will help, i spent years gettin drunk an rambling on about all the shit thats happened, i think i ve burried so many memories, sometimes my baby bro, well 14, reminds me of some of the hidings he saw me get of mt ex an id genuinly forgotton, not because of beer, i was dry 4 2 yrs,at the time, is it wise to spill your gut s, when i remember how an y i started my dependance it is a jumble of a 10000 thoughts all tryin 2 get out at once, a 10000 threads all at once, bit like me on here, if i were 2 try an explain, the councellor prob b baffled,

i cant decide if its better to be brief, get the help, an draw a line underall the bad things that have happened, an also the bad things i ve caused to hapen,

do i fold my hand, and reshuffle the deck, i cant change yesterday but im damm sure 2morr im gonna do my best to better 2day, even slightly, even if its not a huge change, im really tryin this time, the trouble chromosone is backing down, mayb if i fight harder the little angel in me might win, u can change your 2morr just by liking yourself just a little more, go on morrison, u r worth it, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Cashregister]

Where is Rachel?

Hi Rachel,
We have not met as yet - iv'e been away (with the fairies!) getting some mental health stuff ironed out but am back and it's great to see you have come so far!
(I read some back postings).

Cheers

Cashy

[YoungAtHeart]

Where is Rachel?

Morrison, I think that Catholic guilt is probably worse than Jewish guilt! At least the Jews have Talmudic debate, and thoughts aren't considered as bad as deeds! And you really are quite dear. You don't always have to have your act together to offer hope, support and inspiration to another, my friend!:l

Rachel, it is wonderful to hear you sounding so good. I'm so happy that you've been able to do so well with your drinking these last several days. Keep up the good work, and do take care of yourself. Bleach is nasty stuff, too. Stay safe and sane!

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[morrison]

Where is Rachel?

Thanks youngatheart. I will have to read about Talmudic debate. I'm not familiar with it. Are you Jewish? It's funny, cause I didn't think Jewish people drank. Don't ask me why I thought that. I guess I figured it was just a big rule with them. Like the Mormons as well. It is my understanding that drinking is a big no no with them.

[louise]

Where is Rachel?

Rachel I'm so glad to see you doing so well. And please clean with something other than bleach. You only need bleach if there is mildew or mold and only in very small amounts. And keep the windows open, it is very dangerous stuff to breathe. I think you found your new middle name - little angel. You could try it on for a while just for fun. Morrison, I think you might be a natural at Talmudic debate. Yes, Jews drink. Every Friday night, a blessing is said over the wine. On Passover, part of the Seder ritual is to drink 4 cups of wine (small, over about 4 hours). On Purim, you are allowed to get slightly tipsy, wear costumes and be very silly.

[SKendall]

Where is Rachel?

Rachel, there is a thread in the holistic healing section that deals with cleaning solvents. Apparently, inhaling them creates a craving for alcohol. For goodness sakes, we never know.

[rottrod]

Where is Rachel?

Well Louise I have to use bleach after I prepare raw chicken or turkey for cooking, it's just nasty. I bleach the counter tops the sink the knives cutting board everything,..I have OCD.

Does this Purim..have a corresponding Christian "celebration"???? Alas, it's too late anyway, I've already gone AF...LOL

[louise]

Where is Rachel?

Ok, yes bleach for cutting boards but I just put them in the dishwasher. Purim is about the good queen Esther and the wicked Haman. Can't think of an equivalent. Ok, sorry for getting off topic guys. Rachel is probably sleeping or just getting up to take care of her son. Hope it's a good day Rachel.

[rachel28]

Where is Rachel?

hi i just got up, 6 ,42 am, i always use bleach 4 bins, an a lot of the time, in peoples houses there is lots a mould an mildew, it s the best thing around, but i will reduce the amount i use, i knew it was bad if ingested, but never realised u can dammage your lungs, i learnt somethinh new , no wonder im so messed up ! skendal i will check out the holistic part, thats interesting, , dont think im quite a little angel yet !!!

[Sweet Cheeks]

Where is Rachel?

Fab news on the job front Rachel - you're doing great.

Yes bleach is rather toxic - I used to blitz my kitchen with it all the time (something my mum always did) and it made my hands look like an old woman's. Should have used gloves but hey....

I agree with you, liking yourself is what it's all about. Sometimes we do ourselves down when we really shouldn't. We all have great qualities and as my husband's counsellor said "if there's something you don't like about you or your life then change it". It's not always that cut and dried but even if we make a small change it's a step in the right direction.

We're all signed up to this aren't we, so that's a baby step!!

Keep on going.
Sweet
xxxx

[happycamper68]

Where is Rachel?

Mayor McCheese stop beating yourself up or you are gonna get a beatdown! :h

[morrison]

Where is Rachel?

Hi HappyCamper. I miss your Sesame Street characters. Is there a reason you aren't using them? Do you think it would be okay to change my avatar to Mayor McCheese? That might be a bit obscure, but some people might think its funny. Maybe I'll keep Mr. Burns. Originally I planned on changing my avatar all the time, but I guess I've had the same one for so long.