it's the little things

[Determinator]

after my recent relapse I've had some deep thinking on the subject as one might expect. when someone asks how a successful AF'er does it the answer isn't simple...it can't be. Just like how we all got in this jam to start with. And I've noticed that when I start letting the little things go, then soon after my whole structure falls apart and I crash.
specifically this last time I noticed (after the fact)
-I started to skip my campral and anti-dep
-I stopped attending an outpatient chemical dependancy class
-I thought that after 94 days I was "somehow different" and could moderate
-even though I did start to moderate I had NO clear method or plan for doing so
-when I get sick with cold/flue it is always a trigger for me to drink
-when Dx is out of town I tend to get a lonely seperation anxiety that is also a trigger.

ALL of those things took place and yet I still failed to listen to the little voice in my head. I even didn't listen to my wife that warned me not to get cocky since I was doing so well.

and there you have it....the little bricks in my house crumbled and the house went down....very briefly at least. I could have gone on for months or years fooling and abusing myself as i would have in the past, but I'm back. A few battle scars but a tad wiser I'd like to think. So look for the little things! they can make us an they can break us.

[SKendall]

it's the little things

Great job on identifying the triggers. Illness is a big one for me too.

What's important is that you're back with us safe and sound just a little bruised.

Thanks for sharing.

[Flip]

it's the little things

A lesson well learnt by the sound of things D... congratulations on being sober again so soon!

I did pretty much the same thing last year ofter 5 months sober - it took me another 4 months to get back on track. BUT, I'm going to learn from it, I'm going to keep taking the campral, go to my therepy, hang around with sober friends, celebrate every day that I am sober, think about why I don't want to drink etc etc etc.... 7 months today!!! yay!!

[Determinator]

it's the little things

Damn Flip! 7months!!! that's ab fab.

[Flip]

it's the little things

And trust me, I was a drunk!!! lol

[Pisces]

it's the little things

Hi all,

Just started a thread that might idenify with this, feel so weird, down but up at the same time cause of my parents visit.

Hi flip, you're an inspiration, 7 months would be so fine. Feel like a loser for going well 3 weeks and back to square 1 because of the visit.

Can anyone help or tell me how you're sposed to give your dad a kiss and say hi and wish him well, after him kissing me, mouth open like a lover when noone could see...

Guess I should keep it for the psych, lol

Just I'm reeling from the fallout...

Love Jas, xxx

[Bella]

it's the little things

Oh D..........what true words you write. Its the 'cocky factor' that always does me in. I get to thinking "hey, I'm cool...I can have a couple and chill" but no, 'fraid not. I did so well a while ago, went to the pub for 1 then my inner alcoholic buddy came out from the cobwebs and made me drink more and hide my bottle from my husband and generally take me back to square one! I am on guard all the time now and it is sooooo hard.

You are the best, Garlic Man and you are wiser for this slip. So.........Don't let those little bricks of your house fall down again.....if that starts happening, you will be there waiting... with your tools. All the best to you. Bella xxxx

[diamond]

it's the little things

Hi all,
thanks for advice - I am feeling the cravings this weekend and I am keeping away from all signs of booze - shops, pubs, other people with it etc !!

Jas - that must have been hard, I couldn't cope with that !!

[Guest]

it's the little things

Such an inspiration to see you`re back on track Determinator.

Well done and good luck.

Starlight Impress

[Breez]

it's the little things

That's it Deter-we get cocky.

You are fighting the biggest battle of your life at the moment. A battle that took over your life. Booze consumed every thought, every movement, every activity and to be successful over it makes one feel empowered - that you can over come everything.

Hell-if I can go AF for so long, be so strong in overcoming my addiction-I can overcome just having one drink. False hope. There are people who have a simple problm with drinking too much & those of us that use it as a crutch.

It takes a long time to get accustomed to walking alone without that alcoholic crutch. Heck-once we throw down that alcoholic crutch and start walking alone we get more confident & it feels good. But we have to realize that just like a person who has any injury, there is a lot of rehabilitation, a lot of ups & downs in trying to walk on your own again, preparing for obstacles and the realization that some of us can not run in that marathon again.

I'm glad you're back on track Deter-you have a lot more wisdom from your experience. I wish you nothing but success.

[sujul]

it's the little things

So, so true--it is all the little things that we think aren't really "doing anything"--maybe each one on it's own isn't but all together they add up to being AF!

Confidence is a great thing and we all deserve to feel confident--but over-confidence (ie, cockiness!) is a sure slide back into the abyss!

Good for you, Det, for recognizing all this and thanks for reminding me--I have been feeling ever so slightly cocky lately--right now, though, I am confident that my life is on the right track but only long as I don't make the mistake of thinking I can confidently have one drink!

[Popeye]

it's the little things

Oh my..
I'm on day 94.
I don't want to drink, but it's hard.
I know what triggers the urge, and I just keep away from most of them, yet there are ones that I can't hide from, that I have to face, daily...as do we all.
The support here is fantastic.
I know that I'm not alone.
Thank you.

[MDBiker]

it's the little things

D, I did the same things; but more than once. You my friend are more on top of the learning experience than I was, and it will be to your advantage. I think I am a slow learner, or maybe I just didn't want to lose my liquid lover. At any rate, you sound like you are doing fine.

congrats on the 7 months flip

Jas, you should have decked him, he deserved it. Maybe just a knee to the groin.

bear

[Determinatrix]

it's the little things

Stay the course, honey!