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    #1

    The Battle goes on.

    Hi there, and happy Sunday to you all. I just wanted to write today because I thought I had this thing licked. What I mean by that is....I havent drunk for a few few weeks now and I thought it was getting easier. In some ways it is. But for the last 2 days or so, I have felt like climbing the walls for some wine, and I mean not just 1 or 2. I want loads. I've felt like my body is needing it, like it would feel better for it. This is stupid as I'm not withdrawing from it. Last night I went to bed wishing I had some wine by my bed and this morning I woke up and felt like drinking wine. This is unheard of for me. Why do I have this strong urge? My husband mentioned yesterday that did I fancy going to the pub today and all I could think was 'yes, then i could have a drink'. Nothing about the company we would be keeping. This alcohol dependence never goes away does it?! I can't bear it sometimes. I just want to be like normal people. A Social drinker. As I write this, I could so easily tip a bottle down my neck and give in. But I won't.

    Does anyone else who hasn't drunk for a while feel like this sometimes? And how can I beat this with minimal amount of pain? I know I should be distracting myself with other interests ...a walk to take my mind off it, etc. etc. but I'm fed up of this continual battle. Its draining and gets very boring too.

    Nevermind, Please give me your thoughts. I would appreciate it very much. Bella xxx
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    #2
    The Battle goes on.

    It's funny you should post this thread today, but since Friday I have been craving a drink after about 10 weeks af (I think it's about that???) I really wanted a drink, and like you in the morning too when I have never drunk in the morning !

    Don't know why, I thought it was over - the craving - I have been ok I have been drinking alcohol free stuff - wine, lager etc and not felt an urge until this weekend.

    Mind you - my husband is in retail and said he might apply for an alcohol license for the shop - I nearly dropped down dead !!! That is the last thing I need helping in a shop-full of booze !!!

    He said 'it's ok you are the strongest woman I know you don't need to drink !!' I could have cheerfully killed him and buried him on the spot, but we were on the Blackwall Tunnel Link road at the time !!! LOL
    I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
    I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

    Marilyn Monroe

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      #3
      The Battle goes on.

      Hi Bella,

      I'm sorry you are going through this now but it is perfectly natural.. I think it must be your brain trying its best to make you drink, because it is a battle and although it does get easier as time goes on it never really goes away...

      I used to think that after a few months of being AF I would be ok, but no, thats not the case.. Yesterday I was AF for exactly 9 months but I still get cravings, not as often or as severe as in the beginning, but they are still there.. At one time I wouldn't look past the craving, I would just give in and have a drink, and that always led to more then one.. Now, I think beyond the craving and picture myself drinking, how I will look and feel the next day, how disgusted I will feel with myself for failing once again, also just how much I would be giving up for the sake of a glass of wine, my confidence, self esteem, the feeling of strength I now have, and all the hard work I have put in over the last 9 months.. When I lay all that against a bottle of wine it just doesn't seem worth losing it for the sake of a drink..

      You're doing fine, just try to keep on thinking positively..

      Take care, love, Louise xxx
      A F F L..
      Alcohol Free For Life

      Comment

        #4
        The Battle goes on.

        your fighting it well ,just keep on fighting......

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          #5
          The Battle goes on.

          Hi Bella,
          Sorry to hear you`ve been so tempted lately and such an achievement for you to have resisted.

          Think this really does prove that, regardless of the longevity of anyone`s successful moderating or abstaining, we will never really be `out of the woods`..........quite frightening a consideration!!!!

          Keep going Bella!!!

          Much love,

          Starlight Impress

          Comment

            #6
            The Battle goes on.

            don't give up babe hang in there, do it for us that just aren't strong enough. Kim
            Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win!!

            Comment

              #7
              The Battle goes on.

              Yeah, it's funny how that happens (the cravings weeks after). I surmise that it might be something to do with coping mechanisms rather than dependence. It could also be sugar cravings. If you have eaten sugar or carbohydrates before your cravings, perhaps it is your low blood sugar levels that are making you think you want alcohol?
              One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

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                #8
                The Battle goes on.

                Over the past couple of months the AF time has gotten a lot easier, but every couple of weeks, or a little less often than that, I will get an urge. They are much further ans fewere between than they once were, but I do get them. I had a hard time around the 30 day mark, again around 50 days i think...then again about a month later. I have almost convinced myself a few times that I am fine now. But the difference is I am not really thinking about having a dirnk, I am thinking about getting drunk, which means I still dont think about it normally. Dont worry. It it not a daily, or even a weekly feeling so much anymore, but it does creep up every so often, and when it does, I go do something for myself. I buy myself something I have been wanting to occupy myself-- I bug my boyfriend-I look at puppies online--it passes.
                It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                James Gordon, M.D.

                Comment

                  #9
                  The Battle goes on.

                  Bella, it's just our mind always wanting what we can't have. Your stronger than this craving. Stay true to Bella
                  Hugs
                  Mar

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The Battle goes on.

                    Lots of great advice here...

                    I have to say that even after 14+ mos I still occasionally get the "urge"--mostly I fight it by remembering where that will lead and how hopeless and despairing I felt when I was drinking....

                    I think the sugar link is also something to think about--I have come to realize that it is mostly after eating too much sugar or carbs that I get these more vivid imaginings of myself drinking....

                    I have found that a key is doing other things--coming on here, reading (another addiction of mine), cooking--something that you know makes you feel good...I only wish exercise were one of those for me, but I know it is for lots of people...

                    The urge passes....no, I know it's not ever really over--but there are tools to help us (vites, supps) and it definitely gets better as we construct our lives around non-drinking stuff and alcohol is not the center of our existence any more....

                    :l :l
                    "I'm a sucker for a good resurrection story." Anne Lamott

                    Comment

                      #11
                      The Battle goes on.

                      Bella, it is normal. I think it is sometimes related to sugar, but in my case it is mostly related to my mental attitude. The first time I had this happen, my mind pushed forward in a state of euphoric calculation. I could drink and see if the old want was still there. It was as if I were on some kind of mind numbing speed. L-glute and a long motorcycle ride took it away for me. That was absolutely the worse case of mental cravings I have ever experienced, but not giving in and looking for a better response was the ticket for me.

                      God Bless
                      bear
                      What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
                      ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

                      Comment

                        #12
                        The Battle goes on.

                        Bella,

                        Keep flexing that muscle and make it grow and you will be stronger in the long run and ready for the next battle.

                        Dx
                        * * I love Determinator * *

                        Comment

                          #13
                          The Battle goes on.

                          I think sujul and biker have a point about the sugar thing. Your body might not even want the booze but maybe the sugar. It just knows wine and all is the surest place to get it. You've done so well being AF for so long, Bella, and that is HUGE! :h Suz
                          The more we appreciate life, the more life appreciates and bestows us with more goodness.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            The Battle goes on.

                            Bella, I just wanted to let you know I am here to encourage you along with everyone else. The people who have spoken before me, and have been AF for so long, have shared some wise words about remaining AF for the long haul.

                            Good luck girl and stay strong!!
                            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                            Comment

                              #15
                              The Battle goes on.

                              thanks everyone, very much. I think the sugar thing might be it. I am craving carbs and sugar lately and giving in to it. Maybe that is why I am craving wine too. I had not thought of that. You do not realise how much help you all are to me. I feel so isolated and alone at the moment, its horrible. Thankyou. Bella xxxx

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