Business Travel and Drinking

[paguy]

Hi Folks:

Looking for some advice/recommendations from those of you who may have a similar situation...

I have been traveling out of town for work every week for the last 7 months. I am with the same group of people every week, and the routine is to have drinks and dinner every evening that we are together. Needless to say, this is not an ideal situation for someone who is trying to become AF!

Occasionally, I will decline and just hang out in my hotel room and order room service for dinner (with no alcohol) and I feel great the next day!

I guess what makes me uncomfortable is dealing with the 'pressure' of being around others who are drinking; however, I am also uncomfortable with what others will be thinking when I start ordering iced teas (unsweetened!) with my meals. Well, he must have a problem if he's staying away from alcohol..

Is this crazy thinking? I know I shouldn't be concerned about what others are thinking but that would take lots of re-programming after many years of feeling insecure, inferior, and 'different'.

John
:new:

[Popeye]

Business Travel and Drinking

Be different John,
and be glad that you are....

[Guest]

Business Travel and Drinking

Hi paguy,
I don`t travel with work, but would just like to say that I don`t see why you should be having to avoid mingling so as not to draw attention to your not drinking. Provided you feel strong enough to resist alcohol in a social setting, such as at dinner, you should feel free to join the others. I think living in hotels through working away can be quite a lonely existence and it`s more bearable if we have company.

Many people on here have used the excuse (not that we should have to excuse ourselves!!!!) of abstaining under docs. orders due to having a medical condition. Think this is just one way of handling your situation.....just my viewpoint........just one option.

Good luck,

Starlight Impress

[ducky]

Business Travel and Drinking

Hi Paguy,

This topic comes up a lot. I have said it before but my personal opinion is that if you say something truthful (but not too personal) like you are trying to take better care of yourself and eat/drink more healthfully, people will accept it. If you need to lose a bit of weight that of course is easier. However, if they know you and know you generally drink, they will figure things out and most likely be fine with it. It seems to me that the harder people work at covering up their nondrinking, the more obvious the obvious becomes...Just a thought. If they are uncomfortable it is most likely because they feel they should follow suit. Be strong!

[Kitty]

Business Travel and Drinking

Hi Payguy,

It's a tricky one isn't it, I think Ducky is right and it all depends on how well you know these people.

I left a company after 14 years recently due to relocation. My drinking was legendary (office parties etc) and if I had tried to abstain it would have been easier to be truthful.

When I start a new job however I will probably make up an excuse along the lines of medical reasons or weight loss, but obviously if your colleagues have seen you drink then you may have have to be more creative.

I don't belive we should have to lie but I do see how sometimes it is necessary.

Good luck anyway,

Kitty

[lucky 2.0]

Business Travel and Drinking

I have noticed people drink a lot on business trips too. I think they are celebrating be away from their spouse for the most part and having a taste of freedom.

Can you say you need to catch up on e-mail and return calls? or go to gym? When my group has those who stay back @ the hotel, it is really no big deal though so who gives a flying fuck what anyone else thinks? It is all about you.

[Java]

Business Travel and Drinking

Tel them you are on a diet...blood pressure or something...doctors orders...

[hablur]

Business Travel and Drinking

I travel frequently and entertain clients often. What i have been saying is that I have been gaining a lot of weight so I have been trting to eat healthier when travelling so no one cares. I only say anything if someone asks though.

[sujul]

Business Travel and Drinking

Business trips and alcohol DO seem to go together... I relapsed after 11 yrs of sobriety when I was on an airplane on business....it took me 10 years to get back on track....

But, I remember noticing years ago that a colleague suddenly stopped drinking--I think he said it was a health thing (diet, blood pressure, something) and I didn't think anything of it except "poor Doug, not being able to drink...." and then I got back to the drink in front of me--and the next one....it never ocurred to me at the time that he was not drinking out of CHOICE!

I think that people notice, but really only momentarily--most people are so caught up in their own sh*t that they don't notice (or think about us) nearly as much as we think they do...

This is your LIFE we're talking about, Paguy--do what YOU need to do and say whatever you have to--it is so, so worth it!

[adagirl]

Business Travel and Drinking

sujul;158000 wrote: I think that people notice, but really only momentarily--most people are so caught up in their own sh*t that they don't notice (or think about us) nearly as much as we think they do...

I totally agree w/this and I have to start reminding myself the same thing (not to just drink to fit in). Its something I learned when dieting. You feel like you have to eat the b-day cake or Aunt so-and-so's special casserole or whatever. The truth is they don't care nearly as much as you think they do. The pressure to fit in is usually more in your head. For me, its easier to make an excuse (like dieting or my BP med) because people know I am a big drinker otherwise. By the time they're on their second or third drink, they've lost track of how much I'm NOT drinking. Funny thing, I recently found out that one of the moms in my group who always comes to the bars w/us doesn't drink AT ALL. I always thought she was drinking right along w/us, but it was all non-alcoholic drinks. Guess I was too drunk to notice! Now that I'm cutting way back, maybe I will try to hang out w/her more. LOL

[paguy]

Business Travel and Drinking

Hey Folks - Thanks so much for your insights and advice. I really appreciate it!

I know that I need to concentrate on what is best for me and to not give a s**t or f**k about what anyone else is thinking. This is my life and I need to take control.

I am not traveling this week due to the holiday... time to take stock and get my stuff together for the following week of travel.

Feeling pretty confident right now... Thanks for the support and encouragement.

John:thanks:

[Cashregister]

Business Travel and Drinking

I always made an arse of myself on business trips when I drank - so just didn't after a while - was not even trying to stop or anything, just wanted reputation in tact. Would drink to make up for it in the privacy of my own home (unfortunately!).

Cheers
Cashy
xxx

[YoungAtHeart]

Business Travel and Drinking

Being on antibiotics is a great excuse. Then afterwards you can say that you noticed that you felt much better when you weren't drinking on trips. There are many people out there who don't drink and don't feel like they have to make up excuses for it. We are the ones who are excessively self-conscious about it!:H

[Determinator]

Business Travel and Drinking

I used to over-drink all the damn time on travel and it made things so hard to function the next day and drive those long trips....sure don't miss that now! but the social aspect can be tough I know PAguy....it just seemed the only sure source of relaxation and peace i could get at the end of the day were those drinks. what crap. most hotels have a gym, a jacuzzie, pool etc. and all the previous posts here on what to say to your coworkers is right on the money. Be well!!!