I was introduced to the 'celebrity' of drinking when I was 21 when I had my first romantic relationship. I got involved with someone who was very successful, had lots of money, and apparently was also an alcoholic (which I did not realize at the time). I was enamored by the good life, vacationing here and there and always having martinis with lunch and dinner. I thought it was really cool and sophisticated and I was happy to be enjoying the 'good life'.
After 10 years, the relationship finally ended but my dependence on alcohol did not. I am basically a very shy person, with very little self-confidence and poor self image (I grew up in the early 1960's and realized I was gay when I was about 16 years old. Back in the 60's it was not cool to be gay. On the contrary, it was a miserable existence, ledading a 'double life', hiding my true self from my family and friends).
Needless to say, over the years, alcohol became my friend - it made me feel safe and I could be who I wanted to be.
Now I realize all of that was a bunch of crap! I am in my mid-fifties, have become quite successful on my own, and have so much to live for!! I am determined to finally get rid of the huge elephant in the room..
Sorry for rambling but thanks for listening.
John
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