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[Beaches]

A N G E R

Hello Ima,
Use your anger to get where you need to be and want to be in life.
I also applaud you for taking this stand for yourself and your daugther, I hope you know how strong you are for doing this and the difference you have made in her life also.

I wish you the very best.

[Guest]

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Ima, I don't like you attacking yourself calling yourself fat and dim. You are a very capable bright woman. weight can be lost, but integrity never should. You are going through a rough spot, but hopes remains eternal. Your life is priceless and you are making the right decisions for it. Hugs & Hopes
Mar

[hablur]

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Imatree,

I am vfery glad that you posted yur feelings and shared this with all of us. You are going through a very rough patch and I really admire you for your commitment to your daughter to get this straightened out. People often say that you have to do this for yourself but I honestly don't completely buy into that argument. If you have a family then you owe it to them to do it for them just as much as you owe it to yourself.

Keep chugging along. If anger helps then use it to your advantage. Use any tool that comes your way to help you out.

[rachel28]

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hi ima, just had a thought ,(another 1! ) i know u r upset at the moment, i hope u r mannaging to stay strong on your descision, seeing your partner at weekends seemed a good idea, i hope he is still going to honour it, an u will reinforce it, that way it is down to each of u to get better, if this relationship is the 1, time will heal, i read u want to loose weight, well what more of a perfect way is A 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER! if your partner is living else where u r going to have so much free time with her, SORRY MEN but they take up so much time especially if like my partner, whilst we r both drinking an having a good time , we waste so many hrs hving a good time nothing gets done, bu we r having fun,?

this has driven me to distraction, i told him i got a problem ages bk, but cos it meant him stopping to he has continued to buy beer an we have continued to hve fun, me bein me i thought oh well, untill i get guilt pangs, about bein a crap mum, u know the 1, then we row i feel like the worst mum in the world, the cycle continues, all with a beer, all goe s bk to normal drink to forget feelin guilty, end up feelin worse,thus drinking more, i know u r scared an bored of the cycle,as am i,

my partner an i decided the last row , if we cant sort it this time we got to end it, thats where i decided it was time to b honest , brutally honest, i tolh him, how i hide beer, how ive drunk in morn, the dr s appointment has really opened his eye s , he is bein really supportive, SO FAR ,

he know s that i mean it, he know s that im not scared to b on my own, he know s i will go,

the point i started to make but got carried away was, if partner is away till weekends u free up so much time, ENTERTAINING your man, the time spent drinking an laughing with him is time u can spend finding an physical activity, you can do with your daughter, im sure she would love to c her mum rollerblading or something, an u will b exercising without even knowing it, an spending that precious time wiv your daughter, an taking your mind of missing your man, food 4 thought, im certainly going to spend a lot more time wiv thekids, an less with the bloke, he can amuse himself, i want 2 c my son as a little boy an appreciate him bein cute, it wont b long b4 he is an obnoixious teenager !!! sorry to ramble hope u got what i mean xx take care mate xx

[paula]

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Ima,
I do so admire you. I wish my mother had cared about me and my sisters/brothers.
My father did some terrible things while under the influence of alcohol, and my mum
did nothing. She could have saved us so much heartache, if she had done something
about it. She didn't even drink herself.
I do agree with you ,only you can protect your child.
Love Paula.

[I Like Brandy]

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imatree;

I agree with Sammy's, when I get angry the adreniline helps me to put the situation in focus. Hang in there...

You are not alone in this fight against alcohol!!

Brandy:h

[tea]

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Hi Imatree, just wanted to show you my support, nothing else to add that hasn't already been said above. You are so brave, keep the courage and really feel it, you are breaking a horrible cycle. Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

L

[beatle]

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oh imatree, I read this post first thing in the morning (that's early for me, with kids that think 6:00 a.m. is a perfectly reasonable time to start the day!). Anyway, I'ts been with me all day. I can't get it out of my mind. What happened?=? What precipitated this? You have been a constant voice of reason, always full of good advice, never appearing at all ruffled. Something must have happened. Please, let us know, or if you want, PM me. I will happily call you if you want. I am very upset. This is not good.

[imatree]

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Hi all. I'm getting weepy from reading all your posts. Thank you. I wish I had time to say all I want to say to all that each of you have said....

but mainly for now... yes, the anger is a good thing. At first it hurt like hell, like betrayal hurts, but now it feels like fuel. Like rocket fuel!! My life WILL CHANGE. My life IS changing.

And alcohol can kiss my metamorphosizing ass as I'm walking through the door from the past into My Life.

The BF jumped aboard the wagon this morning. This is a radical shift for him. I think it sunk in that he is going to lose me. So we'll see. I'm holding strong though... it's going to be very hard for him, quitting. And of course I can empathize. But I am holding on to my commitment to my Self and my daughter. If he continues to drink he has to leave.
(It's going to be a few weeks before he has the money to get a place to move to - so we'll wait and see what happens til then.)

Last night I poured 1.5 ltr bottle of wine and 5 beers down the drain before going to bed.

I think today will be my first successful AF day in months!!

[sujul]

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Ima--I can hear the healthy part of you winning this fight...and I'm cheering you on! You know, I don't think it's misplaced to think of this battle we're fighting in epic terms...I mean it really is a life and death struggle and once we understand it like that the decisions we need to make become a little clearer. One direction means death, the other means life. Simple as that.

I applaud your courage and your strength! And don't forget to be gentle with yourself--:l

[imatree]

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YES Sujul!!

[trixietrack]

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anger is a healthy reaction. I empathize with you. once you let the anger burn off, you might feel sad and drained, but the hurt needs to be allowed to move out of your system.
be strong and try to stay clear.
seems like right now you need to find your center. you can win this battle

much love

trix

[bootcampbarbie]

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yes, girl you are actually choosing life and therefore you are choosing to breathe. and i'd say that whatever you and your man are going through.. perhaps that is just for now. perhaps it is possible for you both to just take a time out to work on yourselves. then when the dust settles and it always does you can re evaluate what you want and don't want in your life. the meds and stuff will have the weight go at least that is my experience. the head will clear and you will be sharp at least that is my experience. and if the man is worth his measure, then he will be back and that is definitely my experience. and the very first friend you need IS YOURSELF. the rest of us while useful aren't really worthwhile if you don't have that very first friend. so, that is the beginning. i'm cheering you on sister.
bootsie

[Guest]

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Hi imatree,
Am pleased that your anger has made you rock-solid in your determination to triumph over the booze.
Evidently your emotions are in conflict as you love your man, yet can no longer live the boozy lifestyle you have shared. However, I think hope is now glimmering that your relationship can survive as you gave him an ultimatum and rather than lose you, he has at least consented to try to kick the booze. Hold onto the fact that he is willing to try. I hope you come through this together, as I know how much he means to you.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[morrison]

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Another great post, with excellent feedback. Imatree, I like the reply stating that a lot of time anger is a coping measure for hurt feelings. I've learned something about anger recentely, as I've had it since I was young. A lot of it for me comes down to feeling good. It sounds strange, but when I get really angry, I feel better about the situation, like a small high, you know. Very strange to understand for some people I guess. But, it is a healthy way to cope. I still get way to angry in situations, but like I said, sometimes it is like a rush. I don't know if this is coming out right. I guess what I'm saying, is that you've obviously been through so very much, that is probably best you feel angry. It is a very healthy emotion, provided you don't direct it in the wrong direction, which sadly, I have done so many times. You are a very strong person, and very wise to be honest with your feelings. I believe things will work out for you, because you are making the right decisions despite the fact that they are not easy decisions at all. Take care.