Willow - Im so sorry you are feeling this bad, have you got counselling support that you can call? I wish I could send Nelz over.
I too have found the link with sunlight an issue and after 10 years of living in the sun I moved to a country with very little sun and very long dark winters which is definitely contributing to my depression.
In that state of feeling frozen in the headlights its virtually impossible to make any positive steps in any direction. If you find sometimes its less severe, even just slightly, could you cope with trying to get outside even for a short walk? What I'm finding is that if I have only my depression to think about it makes it 100 times worse so the tiniest distraction can help even if its only temporary.
You mention tools for your craft, is this some kind of woodworking? Could you manage just half an hour towards making something? This would be an excellent distraction and could lift your emotional state considerable.
Have you any regular visitors? Isolation again doesn't help and neither will drinking again, please try to take a few small steps to improve something in your situation, however small. Its when we try to tackle the whole picture at once it becomes unsurmountable.
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