A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

[AAthlete]

Okay, everyone is probably going to get sick of me posting about this, but like a kid in the candy shop I am studying all I can about meditation and it's benefits. Something that really struck my last night in book that I am reading:

"There's a basic misunderstanding that we should try to be better than we already are, that we should try to improve ourselves, that we should try to get away from painful things, and that if we could just learn how to get away from the painful things, we would be happy.

Meditation is about seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have....

The idea isn't to get rid of your craving, but to make friends with it, to see it clearly with precision and honesty, and also to see it with gentleness....

The gentleness involves not repressing the craving but also not acting out on it. It involves learning how, once you have fully acknowledged the feeling of craving and the knowledge of who you truly are and what you do, to let it go."

To me it was powerful stuff and offered a perspective that I've not thought of before. How many times when I have drank have I simply shut down my mind to it, then wonder the next day how in the heck did all that happen.

It's going to be a long journey but I think I am looking forward to it.

[satori]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Hi AA

You have been reading up on Buddhism again - haven't you??

Buddhist teachings start with the four Noble truths.

They go something like -

1 Human existence is characterised by "suffering" .
Now suffering is not really the right word here, it is a poor translation from the original pali texts - a general feeling of unsatisfactoriness - if such a word existed would be more accurate.

2 This suffering or unsatisfactoriness arises because of "attachment" or "craving"
Now - craving here is merely wanting things to be different from the way they are - ie running away from "bad" experiences and always chasing and seeking after (being attached to) "good" experiences - always looking for the next thing we think we need to make us "truly" happy.

3 There is a way to end "craving"

4 The way to end craving is to follow the Buddha's recommendations - sometimes called the eightfold path because there are 8 "elements" to it.

The eighth part of the eightfold path is right concentration (usually practiced through meditation) - doing what you are describing - getting to see these thoughts or "cravings" for what they are, acknowledging them, and letting them pass.

For example the thought "I really want a drink" is simply that - a thought passing by. You only need to act on that thought when you embelish it with "craving" - feeding it with that internal dialogue "I deserve a drink, - everyoune else can have one - it is SO unfair. Just one wont hurt" etc etc etc - you know how it goes!

Even the achey feeling of loss in the tummy that often goes with the desire to have things be other than they are is just that - a sensation - examine the feeling objectively with out embelishing the situation mentally, just experience the sensation and you will see it is simply a sensation - it is not painful or life threatening - but a simple sensation.

If you can get to this stage (and it DOES take practice!) you realise that you do NOT have to spend your life wanting things to be other than they are. You do not have to have that internal soundtrack going on, feeding the craving - you can see it and let it go!

If you can achieve this - eventually that vague uneasy feeling most of us carry with us every day starts to go away. You realise you do not really need the best job or the latest gadgets to make you happy. You do not have to try to live up to some internal fantasy of perfection. Because that is what most of us do all our lives - we seek after that elusive "something else" or "something more" and then we will be happy.

The truth is - even if you got that carbon fibre monocoque aero wheeled tri bike you always lusted after, after a few months, the little worm starts up again "maybe if I fitted titanium sprocket bolts?"

What we all need to realise is - we already have all we need - just as we are!
If we can learn to drop the endless craving we begin have spare time and energy to experience life just as it is and see and can begin to appreciate the wonder in it all.

I am rambling again - aren't I?

I guess I am passionate about this stuff!

Satori

[lorisunshine]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Satori, Thanks and please ramble on - I just love it.
Lori

[AAthlete]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Satori, I agree - keep it up (and nice analogy)!

It's amazing - even in the infancy of my research how many often I find my mind 'wandering' off on some other thing instead of focusing on what I am actually doing. I can see how developing an understanding and putting it to use IS going to take a lot of work.

[satori]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Hi AA - even after years of practice - the mind will do its own thing whenever it gets the chance! All we can hope to do is be a little more aware a little more of the time so we can catch ourselves more of the time.

I think it is also important for me to emphasise that this is not just to do with attatchment to material things.
It is very important (especially for us here) to look at our cravings "NOT to be problem drinkers".
Now, I am not for a moment suggesting we drop the desire to be "normal" and just give in to our addictions. What I am suggesting is that we should try to look at our problems objectively too.

We are not "bad" people "terrible" parents etc. we need to try not to embelish our cravings to be "normal" with these unhelpful value judgements - because if we apply these judgements - we automatically measure ourselves against some fantasy of perfection.

If we look at our own situations completely dispassionately without the internal dialogue "I am a failure" etc. we can begin to see very clearly that we are simply people with a chemical addiction. No more and no less than that.
When we see that fact without the emotional overlay of craving we see we are much the same and of as much worth as anyone else in the world.
Then can objectively make some plans to deal with it.

If we drop the beating ourselves up and "craving for things to be different" we can more clearly see the path we should take.

Most of life's problems are caused by this endless internal garbage that we get caught up in - and - the fact that it is internal thought dialogue means that it has no "reality" .

Drop the "cravings" - look completely without value judgement at the situation - and the solution becames much easier to see.

Take care

Satori
xxx

[irishlady]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

AA, thanks for starting this thread, and, Satori, your words are bread for the soul...

Like you AA, I am very new to all this, but it has made such a difference to my life in such a short time... Its as though my life was like this massive jigsaw, in a thousand pieces, but now, finally a lot of things are coming together all at once, there are still several pieces to fit together, but it will come...

[Determinator]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Very nice Satori. AA you may want to start with some very simple visualization exercises to condition yourself to acheiving a meditative state. even that can be hard to do when we are all wound-up I'll be the first to admit. It's striking to see the similarities between Buddism and Taoism...hhmmmmm.

[satori]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Hey guys,

One of my teachers once said - "go away and try everything else you can think of to find lasting contentment and, when you finally realise that there is NOTHING left to try, that you have tried everything and STILL you are not content and satisfied with your life, then you are ready to learn about zen"

The good thing for me is also the fact that I do not have to believe anything at all on face value because someone said so, which is the case in most other religions.
The Buddha himself said something like - "don't believe it just because I said so - try it out for yourself"

I am glad my ramblings are helping some to start looking down the path I stumbled on a fair while ago.

D.

Yes there are striking similarities between Buddhism and Taoism aren't there

All the best

Be good

Satori
xxx

[nancy]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

new perspective

I am also in early days of research but feel the same way you do, that this offers a new (new to us!) way of looking at the self and the world. It can cause a really profound change in the way you approach life, treat oneself and deal with setbacks.

[AAthlete]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Satori/Determinator, would you recommend finding someone/somewhere in the area to find a teacher. Obviously I can read all the books that I want and practice what I learn from them, but it seems that someone to guide we could be extremely beneficial.

Thoughts?

[nancy]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

are there any buddhist centers in your area? you can take classes.

[Rocky]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Interesting

[irishlady]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Elementry my dear Rocky....

[ScoobyDoo]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

AA, what is the name of this book? You've just described exactly what I've been thinking... but you've described it oh so more concisely than I could have ever put into words!

I'm excited!

Doo

[ScoobyDoo]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Satori... I am loving this. Nothing more to add except, thank you!