Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

[Chilipepper]

Well, as you know from my week one journal that I was determined to be alcohol free on day 8. Didn't happen. Early in the afternoon, I was at a Home Depot and begin to feel withdrawal like symptoms of which I'm familiar. I began to crave a drink to dissipate the feeling I was getting. I got home around 6:00 PM and the spouse was drinking which didn't help matters. So, I went for the remaining bourbon in the pantry and poured 8 oz. into a measuring cup. This was going to be my limit before I stopped. I halfway laughed at myself for this promise because normally I just drink through any such self imposed limits. I sat down and poured cola into the bourbon and started my normal routine. I started to drink more slowly with each succeeding drink without thought. I poured the last two oz. from the measuring cup into a glass and it just "sat" there. I didn't want to drink any more. I had the same feeling of enough that I normally got from a full evening of 14-15 oz. of drinking. I had consciously given myself permission to drink 8 oz. last night but could only finish 6. This told me that evidently the concentrated daidzin/bitters in Declinol was obviously working. But I experienced this before in the first week of Sobrexa, so I'm still somewhat reserved in my excitement over a positive conclusion to the program.

What this all tells me is that I need to let the program do what it is designed to do while not keeping alcohol completely off limits. Willpower over alcohol does not work for me, so the thought that I should let the program work for me is a great relief and takes the pressure off. This will be a change in tactics for me in my ultimate realization of total abstinence. I'm still concerned that my alcohol consumption will eke back up. If it does, I'm going back to double doses of the product. I will work the program one day at a time because I know that I am far from being "out of the woods" concerning daily overconsumption.

My test this evening will be to buy a few beers and see how it goes.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Day 9 in the Books - On to Day 10

Drank four 12oz. cans of beer at 6% alcohol on day 9. I count this as about the same consumption as day 8, so everything is remaining steady right now. Actually I feel very good this morning of the tenth day with blood pressure at 120/85. I know that this can change drastically during the course of the day, but so far so good at this point.

I want to get to a point where I can begin an exercise program, but I believe I'll wait until my blood pressure remains steady at a lower pressure and I no longer have off and on withdrawal symptoms. In the past, exercise has only made these symtoms worse. When I can get to the point of moderate daily exercise without these problems, then I will know that I have crossed a major hurdle in beating post-acute withdrawal.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Roller coaster Days 10 and 11

Alcohol consumption went up to 7.5 oz. 86 proof on day 10 and the went down to 4 oz. on day 11. To be fair, I worked late yesterday, contributing to my low consumption. However, I did feel pretty good at work with no withdrawal type symptoms or any consuming desire to drink. Got home around 9:00 PM CST and had four drinks. It almost felt like I was drinking out of habit. I had no problem falling asleep but I did wake up wide-eyed at 2:00 AM. I took .25 mg of Xanax and read and checked emails before retiring again. Woke at 6:15 AM this morning feeling fairly refreshed. Blood pressure was 130/86. Felt pretty good throughout day 12. I upped my Declinol to 3 doses vs the 2 called for at this stage of the program. I'm anxious and want to push my drinking down quickly because I want to have more days like yesterday and far today. The highs of feeling good all day are beginning to make more sense than the high of drinking for a few hours. I badly need this program to work for me.

[Last14theroad]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

I want this too

thank you for sharing I hope this is available in South Africa.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

End of 2nd Week

Have gotten in from work late the last three days helping me to drink less, 4 beers each day. Drinking beers slows my drinking greatly from the normal 86 proof. I'm feeling better each day as a result of drinking less. My health had deteriated from so many years of hard drinking, I don't know what it's like to feel 100%. I still have periods of the day where I get somewhat dizzy and feel head pressure. I realize the healing process will take many weeks or months. These are post acute withdrawal symptoms and will take a lot of my already weak willpower to keep from relapse. I do believe the Declinol is assisting me in my recovery and holds down my ravenous craving. My next challenge will be maintaining a low alcohol intake over this weekend when I have more time on my hands. Will keep you informed.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Days 15,16 and 17

I knew Saturday night would be trouble for me and it was, somewhat. Went back up to eight drinks while barbecuing. The alcohol made me eat much more than normal, also. Dropped down to four drinks the next day after eating out. Since I've always been one to drink for effect, it was easier to drink less on a full stomach. Last night, I went down to zero again after several days of some type of alcohol intake. At least now I know that I can now miss a day of drinking without going through withdrawal effects. I hope I can keep this type pattern going over the next week.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Days 18,19,and 20

I know I said earlier that I was going to let the Declinol work and stop alternate activities, such as involving myself in activities that MAKES you avoid alcohol, but now I believe both have a synergistic effect. On day 18 I was at home and drank another 8 oz. 86 proof. On day 19 I scheduled an evening work meeting (I had to stay sober of course) and had zero drinks. On day 20, today, I came home after a long, stressful, day at work, and found myself drinking another 8 oz. I know my triggers to drink are the first cousins, stress and anxiety. At one time physical activity calmed my stress, but over time, alcohol took over. I want to feel that exercise high again.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Days 21, 22, and 23

I'm feeling pretty good going into my fourth week of the program. Each day was 4, 6, and another 6 oz. respectively. I've noticed that my desire to drink has not stopped, but rather my desire to continue after a few drinks does diminish rather dramatically. I stop drinking now at less than half of my usual consumption of many years. I don't know if it's the Declinol, a placebo effect, a greater desire to stop drinking, or some combination of all three. But, at this point, it doesn't really matter. Whatever the reason, it's working. Obviously, something is going on though that makes me absolutely tired of drinking after just a few drinks. My blood pressure check this morning was 128/85, still a little high but I'll take this any day over what it has been. I feel good and have been getting some walks in without feeling dizzy like I did when I was drinking heavily.

On to today: There will be no drinking tonight because of a work meeting that I planned with some co-workers. They don't know it has something to do with forcing me not to drink! Ha! I know I should feel pretty good tomorrow. All in all, a great last three days.

[looking for peace]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Chili, sounds pretty good so far. I wish you continued sucsess. Keep us posted.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Fell off the Wagon!

I had a setback in my quest for sobriety and now I am paying for it. After 3 straight days of just 3-4 oz. of 86 proof, I had too much time on my hands last night and drank 15 oz! I have a hangover the likes of which I haven't felt since my college days. Sick, Sick, and still Sick. I wish I never saw another bottle. I was going so well, and now this. Basically, after my 4th drink, I kept pushing through to next drink without really wanting to. Didn't really feel like drinking as before, but I kept on any way. Woke up at 10:00 am dehydrated and with a splitting headache. At some point in the night, I know I threw up. I still feel the bitter taste of that in my mouth. I even found that I was doing an Internet search trying to contact an old girlfriend. TERRIBLE on my part. The only solace I have is that drinking wasn't enjoyable last night like before when I was at that level. I'm entering my 5th week on the Declinol program and I want it to work for me but I have to have further resolve. I know that it tends to "shut my drinking down" after a few drinks, so I need to let that work for me.

Challenge: I need week five to work for me. I feel so bad and don't want to look at another drink again, but I have to be prepared to face the night.

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

3 days alcohol free!

Can't believe myself. After my fiasco Friday night, drinking 15 oz. hard alcohol and suffering the effects, I'm now three straight days alcohol free. I honestly cannot remember a stretch that long and I never felt better! Since I'm on a roll, I'm more determined than ever to stay off alcohol. Too feel good and sober is intoxicating itself. I hope to get addicted to sober.

Challenge this week: I need to keep the course I'm on and associate alcohol to how bad I felt Saturday after drinking to excess Friday. My long range goal is to move from my daily walk to jogging in a couple of months. I want to fill my life with so many positives, that there will be too much of a price to be paid for backsliding.

[paulywogg]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

great news chilipepper!

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Thanks for the encouragement, Pauly, I need it. See where your mood is stressed. I've noticed that to be a trigger of mine to drink. That, and anxiety. If anybody ever creates something that invokes a calm, unanxious state of mind that is non addictive and allows one to fully function, then that person will never have to worry about money!

[paulywogg]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

im just a stressed person all the time,a worrywort,truth is i dont know how to change the mood setting on here

[Chilipepper]

Declinol Journal #2 - Changing Tactics

Just like most of us on this forum!!