Conscious Living after Four Long Years

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

MossRose;1536214 wrote: Hi SS. I just wanted to tell you about my wonderful day. Nothing special, but good on so many levels. When I was deeply depressed and drinking heavily, I didn't always take care of business like I should. So today, i took the day off work and I checked a bunch of stuff off of my practical "to-do" list. Some of those items were biggies too. Things I had been neglecting for ages. So I will probably sleep well tonight.

I know it's not very romantic or creative, but just getting my life back in order is so cool. I feel much calmer already. Tomorrow, I'll get back to knitting :} Hope all is well in your world. What's up with you? Oh and btw...I've added "visiting Australia" to my bucket list.

Yes it is romantic and creative and it feels so good, doesn't it? Just the feeling of doing that mundane task that you've been avoiding and then realizing it wasn't such a biggie after all is so satisfactory.

Australia sounds like an awesome place to visit. I used to dream about going there. I went to China and the flight just about killed me so I am sticking with closer destinations for my bucket list...

I am kayaking a great deal lately and the water is warm as pee so swimming alot too. I have a foot long scarf done with another five to go... so nice being sober in the evenings to work on these little projects.

You are so right about feeling calmer when having things in order.

I've noticed my heart palpitations are completely gone now... I forgot about them and realized lately that they don't happen any more. Ahhhh ...

Have a great weekend and stay serene..

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

On a more serious note, I've tried creating a new thread twice this morning and both times have been booted off the system. I think I will post my important post (for me, anyways) here in my little serene home.

I have accomplished so much in the past few months in the area of sobriety to the point where drinking is not a problem any more. I do want to completely throw the monkey off my back and start racking up the A/F days even though when I do drink now it's two glasses of wine a few times a week. We are not stupid here and we know that this is a temporary thing and eventually I'll be back to seeing my consumption as a problem. So another day one for me.

For the love of my family I have to be the example they desperately need. My son has just had a baby and is a binge drinker. Need I say more?

Please send me positive energy and if you talk to the universe, please ask for a miracle for my son who is still in denial about his problem. His beautiful two month old child has already been witness to the drunken arguments of his Mommy and Daddy. I am terrified for my son, grandson and for the lovely woman he is with who is the adult child of an alcoholic and well on her way of becoming one herself.

All my energy is now focused on my abstinence and finding a way to help my precious family beat this beast. Their future is disastrous without them beginning their journey towards sobriety and they are both deep in denial at this young age. He's 31 and she's 26. Baby is only two months old.

Sober Soul I must be ... truly.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Another day one completed. I am feeling anything but serene, hopeful and upbeat. This will return soon I hope. I have to be my own cheerleader right now as I feel I've used up all my rah, rah's around the board. Maybe this is what I need; to be accountable only to me.

This is different. Usually I start my day ones with a real positive attitude. This time I am so down and out. Maybe the end result will be success instead of failure with my new found depression.

[Samstone]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Hey there Sobersoul
I know it is depressing as hell trying to this monkey off your back and failing and trying again. I it did every Monday last year forever it seems. Ultimately you are your own cheerleader no matter if you here or on your own on a deserted island and I believe you will succeed!
Sam

[3June2013]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Sorry you're feeling so crappy SS but you got through it, right? Breaking up with AL can be so depressing and yet so liberating. One day at a time my friend. Congratulations, you made it through the first!

[NoSugar]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Hi, SS

I had no success when I was accountable only to myself. I needed support, advice, tough love, a few laughs... I needed to not let others - or myself - down.

Maybe you could join us more often in the Newbies Nest - that is a fairly active thread, even on weekends and several of the regular posters don't often leave the nest.

You don't need to do this alone. :l NS

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Headed over there last night and had a few chuckles. They are having a good old time... Feeling better this morning. Maybe this is my final quit and I can continue achieving the serenity that I have glimpsed lately. Back to meditation I think. Calm, stillness, conscious moment by moment living - these things equal success. This I know .. now to breathe and begin again.

[NoSugar]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Good morning.

Whether this is your last quit is totally up to you. I hope you choose that - life is naturally more serene without AL in it - even without the good habits like meditation. If you include that, also, just think how great the rest of your life can be and what an outstanding role-model you'll make .

[free at last]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Hi Sober Soul,
I have been away for several weeks on holiday and am just now catching up on people who are working toward a joyous, sober AF life. First, I love your name change. I think it is so important to project what we expect of ourselves and of our life. I know you have the strength to make this change, as I have watched your determination to conquer this beast. Stay close, post your progress and we will be there for encouragement and support.

Warmest,

[MossRose]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Sober Soul - I've thought about you often and hope all is going well in your world. Things are up-and-down here, but I'm trying very hard to grab on to the peace we have talked about. Check in, my friend, and let us know how things are going. I've been knitting like crazy and trying to teach myself how to crochet. That has been a bit of a challenge, but I'm not giving up yet!!

[Wine-no!]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Hello SS
I love your bucket list.
I have also just returned after attempting to moderate... I am just so bored of thinking about booze and the negative self-chatter... I also don't want to be a bad example to my kids.
I am also learning about meditation...
So we have a lot in common!
Wishing you all the best xx

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Stargazerlily;1553780 wrote: Found this thread again and am touched by your strength and determination. I have talked to some people who live on lakes and they say the temptations to drink and the party atmosphere are all pervasive. So, that probably makes it hard. Keep working towards your goal, we are here for you and supportive. I agree that people push booze on you, but if you plan ahead, rehearse, you can be firm in your commitment. People push food sometimes too, so becoming firm in what you want for yourself and practicing it gets easier. I had social plans on Friday, did not want to go out to eat or drink, so made arrangements to meet at the football game. My intention was clear, commitment was firm, and it was a good time. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have grandkids watched by a buzzed Mom. Anyway, sorry I have not visited this thread for a while. I will check and be a part of this thread.

You are wise to avoid situations where you can't be the strong person you are working on becoming. Clear, committed, firm, decisive action or non-action is what is required.

Living by the lake is always party central and there are some problem drinkers that I love a lot that come on a regular basis and my intention all summer was to be the good example of sober fun. For the most part I was but often at the end of an evening I would just slump and pour myself a glass of wine just to fit in. I could almost see the collective sigh of relief from the drinkers: the hostess has finally let her hair down!!

I am in a quandary on how to get the strength I need to be abstinent (getting drunk is just NOT an issue any more). Alcohol is in wrecking lives all around me and I need to gather my spiritual brevity and serenely declare myself a tea drinker. Period.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

free at last;1553837 wrote: Dear Sober Soul, great to see you back posting. I have been looking at your thread, hoping to see news of you.

I'd like to suggest that this is an opportunity to be an example to your DIL -- to not drink, especially with children around. Who knows, if she is drinking early in the day, she may be trying to reach out to you for some help, some guidance. Her life may feel overwhelming right now and she needs to talk to someone. Just a thought....

You are quite right. Her life is a mess. Her 3 year old has just had terrible results returned from an MRI and her blood work shoes elevations in a hormone protein. My heart is breaking for myself, my son and DIL and especially for the little one, my granddaughter. I can only imagine what my DIL is going through and alcohol is dulling her terror and anxiety for sure. I have to say that I WAS a good example in that she was not really tricked by my little sips and at the end of the weekend she thanked me for letting her get tipsy all weekend and watching the kids. Still, my issue is that I need to stop drinking; that's why I am on this forum. I make myself sick going around in circles.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Kradle123;1553887 wrote: Dear Tipp :l

Once again you mirror exactly my feelings and thoughts...except for the friends part because as we all know, I have absolutely no friends now! except if my therapist counts... Then I'm one for one

Off to paint the porch and then walk the dog..maybe I'll meet someone in the forest...love you:h

PS: just finishing up Caroline Knapp's book in which she points out that those of us drinking for many years have really 'fractured' into lots of differents "me's" in order to accomadate our own circimstance and weakness so it's damn difficult to get ourselves back to a single person where one size fits all...so to speak :l

I should download that book; I have heard a lot of good things about it, Kradle. good point about the different Me's we project. If you and I simply stopped trying to please everyone except ourselves, we would be half-way to happiness. xoxoxxo

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

MossRose;1554014 wrote: I'm so glad to see this thread revived. It's always been one of my favorites and where I turn when I need inspiration. I'm pleased you have come back and reached out. We will always be here for you. No matter what.

I agree with Free, maybe it's time to have a gentle heart-to-heart with your DIL. For both of you. I know, easier said than done.

Do you still spend time in your "little, tin-roofed shack?" I can almost picture it from your description. It sounds wonderful.

I have plans for that little shack by the river. My uncle is moving to a condo and has some cushy armchairs I am stealing, plus some old fashioned lamps, bookshelves, etc. I am converting it into a cute, little hideaway only accessible by snow shoes in the winter. It's sweet right now but my plans are very self-nurturing... escape from the 40" TV screen.... I should count my blessings but right now, life is so scary with the alcohol abuse of my loved ones, the sick little granddaughter and other complications. The little shack will be my refuge even more now. Thanks for reminding me of this little gem in my life. The other day, my 11 year old niece was visiting form Seattle and I promised her if she looked over the deck at dusk she would see a beaver. Well there were three and they were as curious about her as she was of them. They were twenty feet away, straight below the deck making there little whistling sounds and looking up at her. I take those little critters for granted until a fascinated little one reminds me of how blessed I am to have them as neighbors.