Conscious Living after Four Long Years

[MossRose]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Now your "little shack" sounds even more inviting. I can just picture you, snow showing out there, the cold wind blowing, and you getting all comfy in a cushy armchair with a cup of hot tea, and maybe a good book. Yes, I understand your need to escape the "40" TV screen." That inspired me. So, I have made a new rule in my life. One weekend day each week, I will live as technology free as possible. Life moves so fast anymore, and I feel a desperate need to slow it down. I want to use that time to pursue my hobbies, spend time with family and friends, and just be. It may not sound like much, but I think it may make a huge difference in my recovery.

I reached out to a friend today. I told her the truth about everything. I have been so blue lately, and didn't know where to turn. She is one of the most serene people I have ever met. She is very spiritual, and she believes that addiction is a spiritual crisis. I won't debate the merit of her beliefs even though I have my doubts, because if you met her, you would immediately feel a sense of peace surrounding her. It radiates off of her. And believe me, she has faced some very tough challenges in her life. Bottom line is I trust her advice. She asked me to take a 9 day challenge. She made a simple request of me. She wants me to spend the next 9 days just being grateful - for everything. Anyway, starting tomorrow, I am accepting her challenge, and can see the logic in it.

When I read about your niece's fascination with the beavers, it made me realize that maybe she is right. This all makes perfect sense to me tonight...acknowledging our blessings. Spend time in your beautiful "shack" - rejuvenate - and get strong. You have a lot on your plate right now. We're here. Keep posting, SS, because this thread is my touchstone. And saying prayers for your granddaughter.

[free at last]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Dear SoberSoul, the little shack sounds like a wonderful place for rejuvenation. In thinking about your life on the lake, do you kayak? I ask because the few times I have been staying near a lake and had access to a kayak, I would go out on the water, lean back in the kayak and just listen. It was wondefully restorative to my soul. Just thinking about it makes me want to get on a lake soon!

Moss Rose, I make a point of no tv or internet for one day on the weekend. It's wonderfully freeing. Glad to see you are going to try this.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

What a great idea; no technology for a weekend day. I often don't look at computers or TV at home when alone but can't help it at work. As for kayaking, we do have kayaks and I've spent some very serene time this summer skimming the water watching the great blue herons swoop away as I approach them.

It's funny how we want to slow down, meditate, eat natural foods, exercise gently, celebrate gratitude, cut out electronics, alcohol and other stimulants but when it comes down to it, our society is anything but the platform we need to accomplish these simple things. We are always swimming upstream to achieve what our ancestors took for granted.

No excuses though. I think for me cutting out the morning ritual of reading the newspaper in the mornings is one thing that would help me centre myself and begin the day well. It's time consuming and has bad news always.

Granddaughter goes for MRI and spinal tap on October 2nd. Please send positive thoughts towards this lovely 3 year old who just started ballet lessons.

[ChefRobaire]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

I have been on this wonderful site on and off for 4 years....I come with hope and determination that this time I will finally conquer the demon. Hello all...

[MossRose]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Sending love, light and prayers for your granddaughter. I know this can't be easy for your family. I'll be thinking of you all.

SS - I think it's a great idea to stay away from the news in the morning. You can always catch up later in the day. But just imagine taking that time for yourself - just an hour to yourself - to reflect on the good in life, and to not start your day with force-fed thoughts of violence, scandal and mayhem. It sounds like you have a job like mine - forced to use technology all day long. Which is fine, and I'm grateful for my job, but by the time I get home, I need to take a serious break. Do something tactile - cook. knit, even clean. (Did I just say that??) But I think you know what I mean.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

As some of you know, my little, three-year-old granddaughter, Sofia, is showing some symptoms of serious illness; not in her over-all health but in her blood work and results of her MRI. She is scheduled for a full body scan and a spinal tap on October 2nd with the results going straight to Oncology.

Sofia Mae Dana is named after the stillborn baby I lost more than twenty five years ago. I was not comfortable of the idea of her adopting Dana as her middle name because I was afraid it would jinx her. I kept my thoughts to myself and hope to never regret that decision. That is neither here nor there. Truth be told, we are all terrified that she is gravely ill.

She and I are very close to say the least. As much as she adores everyone she meets, I feel a special bond between us and know she feels the same. She is the light of my life as they say.

Today while gardening at our little cottage I found myself cringing inside for the umpteenth time as my mind went to that scary place where Sofia gets a grim diagnosis. I pleaded with the universe for direction and heard clearly: No more alcohol! At first I took that as a sign that if I abstained from alcohol altogether (as I've been doing lately), she would be given a clean bill of health. My mind raced with churning thoughts of total commitment, fear of failure, hopelessness, helplessness and eventually, resolve.

This is not a coincidence. The Universe has been calling me for years. I have been beaten down with the death of my unborn daughter at full term, tasted great joy in life?s many gifts; robust health, glowing grandchildren and forever friends. I?ve also been trampled on by the attempted suicide of my beloved, adopted daughter, met and married the absolute love of my life. I?ve had the opportunity to travel; encountered wondrous people and landscapes. I?ve been guided to and acquired, both, a quaint cottage by a rippling river and a charming, expansive home by a pristine lake. The universe has been steadily calling my name with it?s only voice: Life Experience. I?ve been denying it?s beckoning; both tragic and euphoric. By drinking many nights away and spending my days regretting it, I?ve turned my back on my purpose. By immersing myself in mind-numbing activities rather than actively engaging in meaningful pursuits, I?ve turned my back on my Raison D?Etre We all have a reason to be here. I have been hiding from the role I?ve been put on this earth to play. I am ready to take this latest, most urgent signpost in my life?s journey as the call to arms in this fight to heal the world of it?s sadness, anger and fear. I am sad and fearful myself and must work within these emotions; not dull them in order not to feel.

Whether Sofia?s diagnosis is reassuring or not, I plan to permanently give up on drinking on a daily, weekly or, even, rare basis. In lieu of this useless, self-defeating activity, I plan on following through on some worthy projects that have been calling me lately. This is the beginning of fulfilling my purpose in life.

It?s worth noting that the second voice that I heard this morning in the garden after being instructed to truly stop alcohol use was one that said ?The only way to change things is to be the instrument of change. It?s up to you.? How's that for a message?

Noteworthy or possibly coincidently, after this revelation occurred I asked the universe for a sign: Within a few moments, a twenty dollar bill presented itself to me caught in the shrubs I was trimming. I have no idea what that incident is indicative of but I am sure I'll find out.

I have almost stopped drinking completely in the past few months but the monkey has been on my back; you know that monkey called Moderation. Well the universe has told me to let him go and I, therefore bid that pesky little brain poker a final adieu

.:butterfly:

[MossRose]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Any response I might make will surely be inadequate after reading your post. It is profound and thought-provoking. But I wanted you to know that I am sending love, light and prayers to you, your granddaughter and your entire family. Your mindful approach to this challenging and extremely difficult situation is inspiring. Yes, life is complex, messy, at times unbearable, yet always beautiful. . But you are correct - we dim the experiences of our life by drinking. We lose our sense of purpose. We can't hear that inner voice that guides us. Our intuition becomes faulty and we lose our way. AL damages our very soul. Thank you for sharing more of your story. I will be here for you wherever your journey leads. xx

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Thanks, Moss Rose. Hoping you have a lovely time away from your present situation and come back to us serene and relaxed. xx

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Today, I followed my Uncle's advice and spent all but $8.00 of my found $20 on lottery tickets. I've always planned to set up a charity to help those less fortunate than my family if I won big and hey, the Universe is capable of anything so I just might win that 30 million and be able to not only pay my kids mortgages but start a new "family" business; non-profit of course. ;-)

The remaining $8 I gave to a poor, down and out guy sitting on the street in the rain; I asked him if he wanted money because he didn't even have a coffee cup to collect donations in. When I gave him the cash I suggested he at least buy a cup of coffee so he'd have something to put the money in.

Trying to 'not ignore' signs any more.

One change I've made since my garden experience yesterday was to revisit the CD I am making of nursery rhymes, Robert Munsch stories and kid songs I am making for my grandchildren. I am teaching myself how to play these songs on the keyboard and one of my kids friends is coming Wed. to first record the music (hopefully not too many takes will be needed) and then the voice overs. I need a lot more practice.

After that I have two other projects that hopefully will put smiles on people's faces and I'll talk more about them when they are closer to reality.

Have a lovely Saturday night, friends.

[Daya]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Tipplerette,

I remember you from when i was here last time. You sound so well, and peaceful and calm

You have reminded me of something that I think is the key to my drinking problem developing...trying to replace the lack of spiritual connection in my life with alcohol.

I used to work as a spiritual counselor, and when I dropped that to take over our business, that's when the drinking developed . I became very involved with my mind and , and instead of questioning it, I drank to calm it, and to replace the feeling of something lost...

I really think a drinking problem is a life / spiritual problem, get back in touch with your soul, and the urge to drink becomes less.

Thank you for this uplifting, beautiful and magical post, it is exactly what I needed, and it makes my heart sing to "see" you so well. xx

Tipplerette;1498002 wrote: As I said, this is a journal, so bear with me as I ramble.

Tonight and I've noticed this lately, I am feeling really grounded and quietly serene about life in general and, in particular about finally getting this monkey off my back.

At home we live in a little cottage by a raging river (which will be quieter as the seasons change). At the back of the property there is a little tin-roofed shack with a comfy sofa, some handmade furniture and each wall has a window over looking either the woods or the river. It's very forested. Last Thursday, I cleaned it out and brought my books on Zen, Buddhism, meditation, conscious living, etc.. out there along with some candles, herbal tea, an electric kettle and my hippie dress. I plan on wandering out there to read, meditate and to 'commune with nature' in the evenings when hubby has some blood bath on TV in the main cottage. I have a fire pit outside the shack and plan on having a little fire on occasion. i may even take a dip in the muddy river if the desire appears one evening.

This simple shack holds the key to my tranquility and rebirth. I need solitude, quiet, nature and gentle, nurturing words to help me make the transition from being the half-corked, loopy, dimwit I was to the self-disciplined, healthy spirited woman that lurks just below my ego's false facade. She is there and so excited to actually be living my dreams.

I am very fortunate to have access to nature right in my backyard. I see fox, deer, wild turkeys, ducks, otters, beavers and all kinds of birds on a daily basis just by looking into the woods across the river.

A new baby boy will be arriving within a few weeks so I'll be a Granny for the second and by August, the third time. Another son is having a boy then. Two boys running around next year besides our four year old sweetie. I'll be high on life chasing after them and showing them the wild blueberry and raspberry bushes, teaching them to swim and doing crafts.

It doesn't get much better than that.

[Daya]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Sober soul..I thought I had successfully modded, last week it came crashing down. I am sorry about your little one, but whatever happens, if you dont drink, you will be clear and present and calm for her (and you)

I will pray for your little grandchild.

SoberSoul;1558822 wrote: As some of you know, my little, three-year-old granddaughter, Sofia, is showing some symptoms of serious illness; not in her over-all health but in her blood work and results of her MRI. She is scheduled for a full body scan and a spinal tap on October 2nd with the results going straight to Oncology.

Sofia Mae Dana is named after the stillborn baby I lost more than twenty five years ago. I was not comfortable of the idea of her adopting Dana as her middle name because I was afraid it would jinx her. I kept my thoughts to myself and hope to never regret that decision. That is neither here nor there. Truth be told, we are all terrified that she is gravely ill.

She and I are very close to say the least. As much as she adores everyone she meets, I feel a special bond between us and know she feels the same. She is the light of my life as they say.

Today while gardening at our little cottage I found myself cringing inside for the umpteenth time as my mind went to that scary place where Sofia gets a grim diagnosis. I pleaded with the universe for direction and heard clearly: No more alcohol! At first I took that as a sign that if I abstained from alcohol altogether (as I've been doing lately), she would be given a clean bill of health. My mind raced with churning thoughts of total commitment, fear of failure, hopelessness, helplessness and eventually, resolve.

This is not a coincidence. The Universe has been calling me for years. I have been beaten down with the death of my unborn daughter at full term, tasted great joy in life?s many gifts; robust health, glowing grandchildren and forever friends. I?ve also been trampled on by the attempted suicide of my beloved, adopted daughter, met and married the absolute love of my life. I?ve had the opportunity to travel; encountered wondrous people and landscapes. I?ve been guided to and acquired, both, a quaint cottage by a rippling river and a charming, expansive home by a pristine lake. The universe has been steadily calling my name with it?s only voice: Life Experience. I?ve been denying it?s beckoning; both tragic and euphoric. By drinking many nights away and spending my days regretting it, I?ve turned my back on my purpose. By immersing myself in mind-numbing activities rather than actively engaging in meaningful pursuits, I?ve turned my back on my Raison D?Etre We all have a reason to be here. I have been hiding from the role I?ve been put on this earth to play. I am ready to take this latest, most urgent signpost in my life?s journey as the call to arms in this fight to heal the world of it?s sadness, anger and fear. I am sad and fearful myself and must work within these emotions; not dull them in order not to feel.

Whether Sofia?s diagnosis is reassuring or not, I plan to permanently give up on drinking on a daily, weekly or, even, rare basis. In lieu of this useless, self-defeating activity, I plan on following through on some worthy projects that have been calling me lately. This is the beginning of fulfilling my purpose in life.

It?s worth noting that the second voice that I heard this morning in the garden after being instructed to truly stop alcohol use was one that said ?The only way to change things is to be the instrument of change. It?s up to you.? How's that for a message?

Noteworthy or possibly coincidently, after this revelation occurred I asked the universe for a sign: Within a few moments, a twenty dollar bill presented itself to me caught in the shrubs I was trimming. I have no idea what that incident is indicative of but I am sure I'll find out.

I have almost stopped drinking completely in the past few months but the monkey has been on my back; you know that monkey called Moderation. Well the universe has told me to let him go and I, therefore bid that pesky little brain poker a final adieu

.:butterfly:

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

Daya, thanks for responding to me and my alter-ego, TIpplerette. I tried the name change a while back to invoke a new beginning. Sorry if you feel deceived. I am struggling right now in anticipation of my Grandaughter's diagnosis but, strangely, feeling at relative peace. I hope that it is a preclude to good news.

I am really sinking my teeth into living consciously and have an easier time remaining present while not dealing with the moderation monkey. I will post more when I get on my lap top. This I-pad is new and I am slow at adapting to new technology. Have a serene night, all.

[Daya]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

I like the new name, it suits the new you. Whatever happens with your little one..you will have the strength to face it.

SoberSoul;1560300 wrote: Daya, thanks for responding to me and my alter-ego, TIpplerette. I tried the name change a while back to invoke a new beginning. Sorry if you feel deceived. I am struggling right now in anticipation of my Grandaughter's diagnosis but, strangely, feeling at relative peace. I hope that it is a preclude to good news.

I am really sinking my teeth into living consciously and have an easier time remaining present while not dealing with the moderation monkey. I will post more when I get on my lap top. This I-pad is new and I am slow at adapting to new technology. Have a serene night, all.

[SoberSoul]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

I spent today with my three children and their young families, my husband's son and my favourite Uncle celebrating my husband's birthday. We had a great day with a bonfire and we set up tables outside to eat (and this is Quebec, Canada a day or so away from the start of October). My granddaughter and I jumped on my mini-rebounder singing "Five Little Monkeys jumping on the Bed" at the top of our lungs. Then we read some Robert Musch books and sang Mortimer song, again, at the top of our lungs. I played some of her favourite songs on the keyboard and she sang and danced. We walked down to the river to throw rocks in and visited my little shack. We saw the beaver and the blue heron. We carried the 'birfday cake" out to her Grandpa. Three year olds are wonderful My two baby grandsons grinned from the sidelines. I was sober all through the day; not a drink passed my lips although it was abundant.

A unexpected blessing was that my son who fights his own alcohol related problems tucked into my ice cold Becks non-alcohol beer and even said "This is great beer Mom. You can still have a drink but not worry about driving." That is a start.

I go to babysit my grandson while my 3 year old sweetie goes for her MRI, spinal tap and kidney testing Tuesday and Wednesday. I hate to think of her undergoing the hospital visits but it could be worse and hopefully it will just end up being a bad scare by the time we get the results.

Today the sun shone on us and the world was lovely. Sobriety totally enhanced the experience. Imagine a tipsy Granny bouncing off the rebounder and breaking an ankle. Not cute.

When the little one was brought to my little hideaway by the river, she skipped around the room exclaiming "This room is perfect, Granny."

With that report I bid you goodnight.

[Kradle123]

Conscious Living after Four Long Years

What a beautiful, magical day, sweet SS. :l
Your journey is truly inspiring and I am so grateful you take the time and energy to keep us posted and connected to you.

Huge hugs to you and your granddaughter. :hug: