Ordering supplements question

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Eloise
have to say my parents lived a long and good life. I miss them, of course, but it was their time. It has been a bit of a struggle what to do with our lands. My siblings and I were left about 350 acres and I'm the only one here and the only one that really does not have a lot of money to buy everyone out. Wished my folks had done better estate planning, but there it is. We'll figure it out some way.

Think I'm going to restart my L glute again. I'm fighting this drinking thing for Christmas with all I have. It used to be my favorite time of polluting myself. I don't feel like it yet, but thinking that being pro-active ain't a bad thing.

No one home so I going going play some fiddle!!
have a good one.
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Hm. Isn't it is too often the way? I am sure they just wanted to be fair, let the kids figure it out. Then it turns into 'let the kids fight it out.' Hopefully this will not be the case for you. My guess the best thing to do is just leave things 'as is, ' for now.
Money and alcohol have a similarly sinister character in my mind.

My brother has had some seriously sticky fingers in the past, helping himself to cash that was not his really. He thinks I probably don't know much about it, but I do. Messy business it is to be greedy.

Anyhow, let's put that safely away in a little box to be dealt with much later.

I think it is a very good idea to restart the L-Glut. Why not? I really think it is helping me. I take it 3-4 times a day. It won't hurt me, and 2x was not cutting the mustard. And once the cravings start it is almost like it is already too late. (Example: Thanksgiving- I left supplements at studio- no plan in place for the holiday). For me it is also about staying calm and not going into anxiety/panic mode, which can be triggered by the most stupid things ever to be honest.

Preventative medicine is a smart approach. If I make it to 200 days AF I would definitely be very proud of myself and motivated to figure out how to make it through the next 100 days!

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Oh, it was partially fought, 2 lawsuits to rid one person. It was expensive and very unfortunate as that person is no longer part of the family. So it goes... off to work, hope you have a great Saturday!

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Hm- bummer.

I worked today too, got home by 5;45, hungry & Really wanted a glass of wine!
This is still so tricky!!!
Ate this & that, made a pot of tea. Took an L glut.
I am fine but it could easily have gone the other way.
Gotta be so self aware & assume nothing I guess.
I really want to make it to Monday. 21 days AF.
Patience. How r u doing Sam?

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Just got in from work and feeding cows, settling in with a cup of tea. I do remember so well that teetering feeling of wanting a drink. Today I "kinda" thought about one, it having been a long day, but I know me oh so well what would happen. That has been the safety mechanism for me lately is really understanding that I truly don't drink like other people. So to think about having one is one thing, to actually have is a whole other ball of wax.

You'll make that 21 days, if you're feeling compromised, start posting here, pm me.

I feel like I've just walked into a hornet's nest here. I can't seem to do anything right by other people's standards, it's starting to piss me off.

Guess I'd better run
Sam

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Hornest's nest calm today, whoowee

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Well, bad news Sam. I drank yesterday. Stress and anxiety was the trigger.
I couldn't get on the internet yesterday. We went to visit my husbands mother who is entirely senile and mean as a snake. They just moved her into a nursing home and she is furious. Its really ugly.
My husband went to get something and I tried to help her at dinner, pushing in her chair, and made the mistake of touching her purse. She accused me of stealing her purse. She was so nasty and of course she only behaves like the mean mad hatter when her son is out of earshot. It was SO ugly. I was completely freaked out and of course I wasn't going to tell my husband and turn the entire evening into a nasty discussion. omg.
She is so mean to me. She doesn't know who I am at this stage.
She gave me the most horrible glares the whole meal. My poor husband was like 'mother, stop making those terrible faces at her, what is wrong with you?!'

So.
There you have it.
I am not giving up though. We will be with her for 4 (yes FOUR) days for the holidays. So, I am going to have to deal with this. There is ALWAYS going to be stress in life. Somehow I lost sight of my dream of an AF December. New goal is 30 AF days in December. If I am to look on the bright side, which I love to do, at least I won't be drunk on my birthday right?
Oh boy.
I felt TERRIBLE this morning too. Headache. Belly ache.
Quitting once and for all is so tricky.

Glad your hornet nest is calm again. As for my count today will be a 2nd day 20 and we move on. I am not done Carr's book yet either. I am so happy to have someone to be accountable to. My husband was just like 'don't worry about it.' If you drink too much once a month is okay. But it isn't okay, not at all. I don't want to do this anymore!

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Omg I can't believe I wrote that about my mother in law.
I hope I don't offend anyone. I guess I am still angry about a few remarks she made a couple of months ago. She referred to me & my dogs as a filthy Americans. The dogs are actually Antillian.
Anyway, sorry to sound so terrible. And I am always polite with her regards of how terrible she makes me feel at times.

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Eloise
just getting in from the day. Woke to no electricity, calf in the yard, calves in the hay lot and so I spent the day dealing with that till about late afternoon. Went and did some deed research in the afternoon. Fortunately we have a generator so we're fairly comfortable and we heat with wood anyway.

You're really doing ok, and sooner or later it will work out, only you truly know your path in regards to drinking what is acceptable to you. I found this to be true with my friends who know me, but not really when it comes to the way I used to drink.

I just PM'd you.

keep on keeping on there!!

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

how are things in Virginia today?

clear, sunny & cold in the Netherlands BUT the clear and sunny part makes it all okay!

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Hey Eloise
things have been a little hectic, everything I've touched today is broken, Murphey is my shadow today. Other than that, coldish, teens at night, high 30's in the day. Suppose to get more weather this weekend. I hope it is not freezing rain, which seems to be the norm here. It breaks the trees so badly.

hope you're able to move out of the city. I don't know if I could ever live in one. Lights and noise. I like a room completely dark to sleep in. Sleep is an important part of my recovery. I like a good deep sleep.

Wishing you well
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Oh boy, sorry about ur day! Sometimes it feels like everything just goes completely wrong.

Yeah, sleep is so important. For almost a year I didn't have a proper nights rest.
Listening to noisy cars is another annoying fact of city life, and limited space.
Enjoy your farm & the animals. Everyday won't be a broken down day!

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Late night check in to see how you're doing Eloise. Finally had a couple of nights playing some music. Lots of fun. Some folks I hadn't seen in awhile. Its been a couple of expensive days... furnace went out in my mother's house, which I am in the process of buying and my wife had to buy a car. I thought Santa was suppose to bring that stuff! Even so, still no need to wallow in my self pity and drink, thank goodness, used to be that would have been the perfect excuse!

Hope you are doing well
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Omg a furnace & a car? Very sorry to hear this!! I am doing okay, but will be very busy the next few days! I will check in & out periodically. Hang in there!!!

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

[QUOTE
Heya Sam!! busy day ahead for me. I will actually be teaching all afternoon & off to the UK in the morning. I have a cold though, bummer. Hopefully I will have an okay day. How are you doing??