Ordering supplements question

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Hey Eloise
been a long, went to work this morning, got home and went to my fiddle teacher's place for a jam, fun but I am tired! Hope your Sunday was a good one.

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

oh my goodness... what fun!!! the fiddle is WonDerFUL! very cool you play regularly.
cheerful too, right? and a good tired.

i have not complained about this but i am sort of employed over here.
i have started an art program and teach 3x per week for only 2 hrs.
considering i am in a new country, don't speak the language very well, i think i am doing great.
there is a garden center nearby looking for part time help and i am going over there this afternoon and see if they might use me?
i haven't been unemployed since i finished college. it is so weird!! i am happy to be able to start my art program, but i do have time for other things until i have a more full schedule.
busy is good.
i am feeling pretty okay and my thoughts are gravitating to 'no wine in December' which somehow is a big relief. no thinking over 'what if?'
oh. i want to thank you very much for your kind and encouraging emails.
normally i do my best in life to be as invisible as possible. your messages are helping to keep me accountable and on track. so, if you are wondering if you have done any acts of random kindness this year, you certainly have. thank you.

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

wow! very cool starting an art program and in a place that you are learning a language to communicate that must be a real challenge. I hope you do find work. It is a good thing to be busy. I've heard more than once that even when being retired, it is best to keep on with something. Sometimes I think drinking the way I was able to is a self inflicted alzheimer.

Thank you for your kind words. I believe that's the beauty of this site is that we're all in it together. There is no cookie cutter for the answer to what we face because we are all different and in how we approach things. I would be untruthful if I did not tell you that T Day was a little bit of a struggle not to have a drink, but just knowing the pandora's box I would have opened really kept it at bay. I think it is great that you are planning ahead on December. Keep your escape routes open; NA cider or sparkling water for cheer has worked for me at weddings this year.

I really enjoy playing fiddle. Yesterday was an Irish jam so I played guitar and dusted off my mandolin (I haven't played that in about a year). It is happy music. Is there much music where you are?

you will be 2 weeks there Eloise!

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

hi- made it threw today without much trouble, but I am a little wired tonight for some reason?
(maybe driving on these narrow winding roads after dark has something to do with it?)

i am able to teach art mostly in English (thank god).
I do have one Dutch student, her art work comes out fine so somehow we manage.
I haven't seen much in terms of live music to be honest. There has to be lots of interesting things happening in Amsterdam. We live a pretty quiet life. Too quiet sometimes and with me not drinking well... I don't feel like being at home early every night. Gotta create new routines. I am starting a Friday night art session.

I think I was drinking a lot out of boredom and loneliness? Especially in the Caribbean, not much to do there at night. Here there is, so time to get out and see what's going on. Great not to have the thought in my head 'oh, but you will want to drink and then forget it- no driving.'
I'm the driver these days! Kinda funny really.

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

and yeah.... tomorrow is Day 14! -

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Today is day 14 Sam! I can count... I swear I can!

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Eloise
Well there you go! onward to another day. I'm glad for you, and I know you must feel good about it too. 2 weeks is great!! You're doing really well, how goes Carr's book?

I was watching an old movie the other night: Philadelphia Story, in which a lot of the main characters get drunk and for once, the next morning everyone is hungover and feeling terrible. Unfortunately the cure was a drink. Interestingly enough Cary Grant played a reformed drinker.

Starting to get geared up for the upcoming tax season.... ugh. Getting all the end of the year stuff updated.
Have a good morning
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Yes, feeling much better- when my thoughts turn to wine I say to myself 'let's just not take a drink in December.'
I know it is going to have it's moments. I am not kidding myself.

I am now 74 percent through Carr's book. Read a little more last night- getting to the good part.
Will make sure I've read it all before I head to London in a couple of weeks.
My first visit to the UK! And I will go see my old boss, someone I've known for about 13 years and I really need a visit with friends. It will also be my birthday.
So, I will certainly need to proceed with caution.

I am really on board with Carr to be honest. I think we are brainwashed with all the alcohol. Watching TV here there are so many ads for alcohol! I know it's the same in the States.
Okay, time for the gym.
It's completely dark outside and almost 8 am.
Good luck w/your taxes. "Annoying" is going to be my only comment.

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

good afternoon Eloise. I just looked at the time difference, about 8:45 am here and 2:45 pm your way. I've only been to Europe once (I was in my early 20's) but what I remember is that drinking was viewed entirely different. Very open, sit in the park and have a bottle of wine, no problems with the authorities. I'm sure it is the same and pot was more or less legal in Amsterdam, don't know if that is the same. Yet none of this changes how we drink individually, which even then I was just running around looking to get messed up, while most people had control. Sad part was I really did not take advantage of really seeing what was around me. Europe is very pretty and very old. I never did make it to England, that should be fun! I'd like to go back some day, but will probably never happen. That's the problem of having animals, you got to be there for them!

We are truly all brainwashed, I, at an early age. My dad and his dad were heavy drinkers and would give me beer at around the age of 10. I have fought this thing for a long time. I hope against hope this is done with. I know there are many who say "never say forever" but I'm at a point that I hope I never open pandora's box again. Booze is so conniving, treacherous and tricky.
Sorry to get preachie. My own personal pep talk there!

Enjoy the rest of your day. Hope it is a good one.
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

You are not preaching- just saying the truth.
I am scared to say never yet, although this really is the only choice. I think I am getting there though.
Not that I think I can have one drink, because I don't do that these days very well.
If I do then the next time I drink the bottle. And the headaches are just intolerable. Why do I want to live this way? Not sure? Makes no sense.

Interesting development: last night I drank 3 cups of special night time tea. Weird, right?
A good weird though. I was totally wired as I mentioned.

It is really beautiful here, and very old. I lived in France and Italy previously as well.
The Netherlands is more like the States but on a really, really small scale! Haha!
It's so little, I find it funny. Bigger than a Caribbean island, but not by much!

Ah, onwards. We have to stay on task for December, I know I do. Just want to be free in my mind. NO wine. "Thanks, I'd love to feel miserable for days... very tempting... but I'll pass for now."

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Eloise
hope you understand I wasn't suggesting you say "never". That was my own personal twist, and I can't ever really say it would be that for me because of the nature of this screwy addiction I have. Yet I feel strongly about that being my intent because of how long it takes me to stop once started.

I've become a coffeeholic these days, speaking of getting wired, but it is much better than drinking. I especially like hot beverages when it gets cold. Speaking of which, what is the climate like there now? Cold? Virginia really doesn't usually get too bad. We'll have a cold snap, but never long.

Hope you day is a fun one!
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

Oh, I am suggesting forever Sam, but I don't want to jinx myself. Seeings how I am really just in the very early stages. Don't want to get ahead of myself! I ordered more supplements just now.
They really do help a lot, and I think the vitamin drink in the morning is especially great.
They are also a physical reminder for me, which I need, to stay on task.

Yes, pot is still sold in coffee houses. I went in one last year, just for laughs. It was completely weird. There was a cat sitting at the cash register on a bar stool, and the guy behind the bar had some serious hair issues going on. I of course immediately got the giggles and my husband had to ask for a coke for me because I couldn't stop laughing. He told the guy I was already high. It really was very funny! Neither of us smoke dope and he was in his office attire. I was bugging him like a little kids to go into one. And then once there I behaved like a retard, of course.

I think you had to be there to appreciate how stupid we looked.

The weather is actually okay this year.
It is 5:45, dark like midnight, but only 36 degrees. Not too bad.
We live very near the sea actually. My art studio is literally 3/4 mile max from the ocean.
Our dogs love it. Not as nice as the Caribbean, but it;s still the beach! Time to head home, enjoy the rest of your day.

[Samstone]

Ordering supplements question

Good for you, Eloise!! You've got a great attitude towards this stuff. December will come and go before you know it. You're closing in on 21 days! When I first came to this site, I felt very timid about the whole thing. Roll call was about all I could really post. Then I realized that posting early on roll call kinda made me commit to being sober the rest of the day.

The height of the drinking season will commercially subside, thank goodness. Christmas is a funny time of year for trying to remain sober. I might go back to the roll call just to keep myself honest!

That's pretty funny about the coffee house. I understand the retard thing totally!

It sounds quite nice where you are. I have not been to the beach in years. We used to go on Thanksgiving until my wife's mother died in 1995. We used to go with her sister's family. They had a house on a North Carolina beach. We missed going that year and just really never got together again afterwards. Since about 2000 I've taken care of my parents till 2010. They've passed on, so now we're done with that portion of the circle. Maybe we can get back to it. OH!! I forgot, I did take a trip to Nova Scotia on my motorcycle one summer and the beaches there were very pretty. They had a way to generate electricity using the tidal force. That was very cool.

Well, getting late here. Off to bed soon. Day 17??
Sam

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

I was fantasizing about day 21 to be honest- that will be next Monday!
It is pretty okay here and I have learnt so much Dutch in one year. I knew two words when I arrived. Now I can get around, although people do speak English everywhere. We are having a big wind storm just now. Kind of nice, reminds me of summer in the Caribbean. Gusts of up to 120-130 mph. We got a Christmas tree this afternoon, so we'll decorate without drinking. I know what you are saying about December being very tricky. I feel so much better without wine though. My gosh it is rather remarkable.
I have been trying to kick this habit for almost 5 years Sam. I wish I had ordered the supplements before. I tried to but there was some problem shipping to me, so I didn't bother to find a work around.
It is a bit expensive, but for goodness sake it is hardly comparable to the wear and tear of alcohol on the body. And I did manage to order some medicine via this site, but that wasn't for me at all. I was better off drinking. Anyhow, it has been a long struggle and I am not suggesting it is over, just improving.
And I am going to just go with it.
My husband says I am a little off the wall, so I ordered the calming supplements. I am hoping this isn't just my new personality without wine?

[Eloise]

Ordering supplements question

And I am sorry to hear about your parents Sam.
It's almost 10, very sleepy & tonight was stressful at home. I could have easily opened a bottle of wine, but I chose not to. Took things a few minutes at a time, thought about feeling like crap the next couple of days & made tea. I am okay now, annoyed still, but not drunk.
Ah. I had some extra L Glut & Kuduz too.
Now just tired. Hope your evening will be more peaceful.