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**aduggan** · July 4, 2007, 04:33 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Its great to be back, I started this thread some weeks ago and then fell off the wagon. Need to try again, so if Maggie and everyone else doesnt mind I would like to start it in the mornings this week whilst she is busy, it will give me a kick start and make me log on and get me going again. Day 2 AF this time its for good.

**Kitty** · July 4, 2007, 04:37 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Dear all,

Well nothing to report from me today, weather is still a bit miserable.

I am feeling quite pensive today, just mulling things over in my head.

Sujul made a really interesting comment on Bears thead saying she thinks that we can still be in denial even after we have vocalised the fact that we recognise we have a problem, and that our continuing behaviour suggests we are actually still in denial. Quite a profound idea but I do agree, I think. I thought that a huge part of recovery would be that initial acceptance of a problem but there is so much work to be done after that.

I've promised myself that I will spend some hours looking for a job online today as there are quite a few sites for this area, problem is though I keep logging on here lol.

And then later on Monty and I have to practise the trick he is planning to show my mom on Saturday. He has a little ball and when I throw it he "fetches" it and brings it back, sometimes he will even place it in your hand! He's a very clever little kitty.

Have a good day everyone,

Kitty

**sheshe** · July 4, 2007, 05:50 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Good morning! I hope everyone is doing well today.

aduggan - are you taking the kudzu? I swear - it's almost magical! Last night I said to my husband "I'm going to drink a few beers tonight", took my 2 kudzu and had: 1.5 beers! It's strange, Ifeel it more. And for some reason I can say to myself, "If I drink anymore I'm going to be stumbling around" - something I NEVER even considered before!

Also, I found that taking one day at a time rather than making a long-term committment has helped tremendously! I can say to myself that I can have a drink if I want to, and if I do I haven't "failed", I'm not a "loser", etc., etc., - all of those lovely things I think we all have said to ourselves much too often and for much too long. The only long term goal I've set for myself at this point is no more blackouts and no more hangovers. So much less pressure! At some point I may simply go AF, but right now baby steps are working for me.

PS - try not to beat yourself up for "falling off the wagon". I think that the guilt and the anger and the shame we inflict upon ourselves for slips probably contributes to the problem. Give yourself credit for every single day you have AF or Mods and try to forgive yourself for slips (probably one of the hardest things to do). We all know how to feel like crap about ourselves already - learning to feel good about ourselves is the chore!

**Guest** · July 4, 2007, 06:33 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Happy 4th July to all our friends in America!!!

Hi Kitty, aduggan and sheshe and everyone else yet to come.

Kitty, good luck looking online for a job.........chin up!!!.......something always turns up!!! Monty is sooooooooooh clever for a tiny baby kitty........he`s just gorgeous!!

aduggan, so easy to fall off the wagon, eh? Important thing is the getting back on.....well done, and good luck struggling along with the rest of us mere mortals!!! lol

sheshe, glad the kudzu seems to be doing it for you. Think the daily plan is probably best............planning way ahead seems to be inviting failure for so many. Have just had to rethink my own plan....have resorted to PLAN B, where I can split my drinks throughout wk...........find it too long to hold out `til weekend. So once again, am feeling optimistic. Without hope, we have nothing.

Have a wonderful day my friends.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

**nancy** · July 4, 2007, 07:45 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Surviving the fourth of July

Happy fourth of July!

Amanda, welcome back. Janice and Bluesky used to start the thread but they have been away recently. Retteach has been starting it lately but she is not going to be on that much in the next week and she lives in the US anyway. I think whoever gets up earliest should start it. European time zones work!

Sheshe, I really like your advice about taking small steps. It's easy to get carried away with grand goals in the beginning but it can be frustrating if we don't meet them. But I think even when we do fail we have to try to be constructive about it and just press on, try something new or try harder.

Kitty, I don't think we are in denial about the problem. I do think we can be in denial about the solutions. We may be in denial of the need for abstinence.

I hope to have a peaceful fourth of july today with not too much celebration...

**louise** · July 4, 2007, 08:27 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi all not much time this am so just want to say good going all. Yes Nancy, I agree for me its the solutions I'm in denial about. Don't like some of them or forget to be diligent about using them because I'm doing well. For example, I really need to listen to the cds, they really help me and somehow I don't find a measly 20 min. Off to a yoga class at the spiritual retreat I'm attending this week with a friend. Hugs to all. Have a safe 4th.

**Doggygirl** · July 4, 2007, 08:32 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hello everyone!

The Big News for yesterday is that I told Mr. Doggy about my plans, and the tools I ordered. (supps, CD's and...the drugs from India!). I thought he would have a cow over the Topa. But I explained about all the reading I did about it mainly here, but also by "Googling." He has seen what a HUGE help on-line support has been to my quit smoking, and I think that paved the way for the Topa Talk.

He was also very open minded (much more than I expected) about the hypnotherapy CD's. I was sure we have a couple of portable CD players around here, and I'm sure they are in Mr. Doggy's kingdom of "stuff" which is the garage + basement. So he is going to dig one of those up for me, and also buy me a pair of cordless headphones for the sleep CD.

It felt good to talk about this with him. Hadn't said much up until yesterday. I wish I could be the kind of drinker he is. Basically he's NOT a drinker. He will have a beer once in awhile (usually to seem like "one of the guys" in those situations) or he might sip on some Crown Royal at a party. But that's it - he doesn't even think about booze the rest of the time. I just have a feeling that I will have to give it ALL up...or I will be in the "prison" of thinking about drinking way too much. I'm really enjoying thining about smoking less and less and less all the time.

Anyway, that's my news for today. Another baby step in the right direction I hope.

Happy holiday to everyone in the US, and happy "day" to everyone else!! Hugs to anyone going through a difficult time.

DG

**lilaclover** · July 4, 2007, 08:42 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Everyone,

Happy 4th of July ! Good luck on your job search Kitty. Monty sounds so smart and adorable. Sheshe, sounds like you are doing well. I agree with you that we beat ourselves up too much and need to find ways to celebrate our successes. Loiuse, I have the same problem with the CDs. I like them and they seem to help, but I always have something else to do... Well a good day to everyone. Will try not to party too much today.

**retteacher** · July 4, 2007, 10:39 AM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi Everyone: This will be quick, as I've got the g-kids here. I'm remembering "One Day at a Time (ODAT)" & "Just for today I won't drink." For me, saying I won't drink for 30 days is too much.

Monday night I drank so much that I went to bed wo/washing my face or brushing my teeth. I felt like I had hit bottom w/that. Yesterday went well & today I feel strong. Good luck to everyone.

Mary

**bird** · July 4, 2007, 06:00 PM

Newbies in Need - Day 4

Hi all'
Welcome back adug. Happy 4th . I wanted to take the kids to the beach but didnt have the gas. Ended up cleaning around the house and going out to a nearby lake for a dip.One of my kids bought a blow up seal that looks just like my avatar.Ha! Kitty, I have had a couple cats who played fetch, but they wouldnt do it when they got older. Very cute. Nothing much going on. Having a nice sober evening..Bird

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