The Thin White Line

[purple neck]

I was a social drinker for many a year but now have a problem which I have recognised. But where is the white line which is stepped over to indicate there is a problem, is it called addiction or is it measured by quantity, are there loads of people out there who never recognise they have a drink problem.

This question has been bugging me for a while, maybe if the problem was nipped in the bud alot earlier it wouldnt now be as much of a problem for me.??

Am I making sense.

[Robert Smith]

The Thin White Line

purple neck;159624 wrote: I was a social drinker for many a year but now have a problem which I have recognised. But where is the white line which is stepped over to indicate there is a problem, is it called addiction or is it measured by quantity, are there loads of people out there who never recognise they have a drink problem.

This question has been bugging me for a while, maybe if the problem was nipped in the bud alot earlier it wouldnt now be as much of a problem for me.??

Am I making sense.

I think when you start questioning , you probably have a problem. I knew for years I had a problem but it wasn't taking enough toll on me, but now the signs are all there.

How much and often do you drinK?
:welcome:

[Guest]

The Thin White Line

Hi purple neck,
I believe that there are loads of people out there who `know` within themselves that they have a problem, but simply can`t face admitting to it and the associated disgrace that comes with admitting so.

As regards "the thin white line", I think if a person can`t `take it or leave it`, then alcohol is a problem for them. I am one such person, and so it is that I am an alcoholic...........I do not like that truth, but it is the truth about my relationship with alcohol.

Starlight Impress

[sujul]

The Thin White Line

Another consideration is what are the consequences of our drinking...? If we continue to drink despite negative consquences for our health, relationships, school/work, DUI's, etc...then we have a problem with alcohol....

[purple neck]

The Thin White Line

Sponge, I drink every day, today hopefully will be AF for the first time for a long time. I have been drinking 1 - 2 bottles of wine per day depending on circumstances.

[Doggygirl]

The Thin White Line

I think for me ALL the points mentioned by Starlight and Robert and sujul are true. As Starlight said, I think I've realized I have a problem for YEARS and years but chose to ignore it, try to hide it, control it somewhat, etc.

What truly made me start seeking a plan for change came about as a result of quitting smoking. I went through a modular thinking/writing program at ffsonline.org which asks you to think hard about what you like about smoking, why you want to quit, etc. etc. in a structured format. It's funny - there was no "new news" that emerged, but just getting what I already knew ORGANIZED and written down for good and handy reference was a huge step.

I realized what a huge ball and chain my smoking was. Each and every day. Do I have enough cigarettes for the day? (or several days if traveling) When will I smoke? Where will I smoke? Who will I need to hide my smoking from? (i.e. certain work bosses) etc.

Once I quit smoking and got past the first month or so, I realized I am at that place with drinking too, and have been for a long time. Do I have enough booze for whatever duration I need? I avoid scheduling late afternoon or evening appointments as that is my drinking time. Rather than face up to my problem a few years ago when my boss busted me drinkin' on the job, I protected my drinking and found a way to leave a high paying situation rather than admit to my problem. Blah Blah Blah.

I'm very happy to be free of the "ball and chain" with cigarettes on a daily basis. I want that same freedom from booze. Obviously I crossed my thin white line YEARS ago so I've got some distance to cover to get back on the right side of that.

Best wishes to you purple, and to all of us...and thanks to everyone here for the awesome support.

DG

[purple neck]

The Thin White Line

Thanks guys and gals these posts help to clarify this issue alot in my mind.

Lets all carry on the great crusade.

Best wishes to all.

[out]

The Thin White Line

Over the Influence...

That is the title of a book I've found repeatedly helpful. It is co-authored by patt denning, jennifer little and adina glickman. They are 3 drug and alcohol couselers that have left the 12 step, my way or the highway approach to treatment to embrace something called harm reduction. No offense to 12 step, while it may work for a few, it doesn't work for many, especially all the people in that gray area between social drinking and alcoholic. Their approach is calming and non judgemental and in a way they ask you to not be judgemental of yourself and and to try to reduce any self harm, any self harm, so if worrying about whether you have a problem is really stressing you out, put it aside for a while until you can look at it more like assessing a relationship without judging it. The relationship you have with your alcohol. What do you like about it, what don't you, when do you hang out with it the most, when did you meet it? etc My advice and others might disagree is that it is not about whether you have a problem, maybe now it's just that the relationship isn't as satisfying anymore or the harm the relationship causes is starting to cancel out its benefits. It's a much less damning way to think about it isn't it?

I am still reading again and learning to approach things this way, but whenever I find myself midly or not so mildly stressing out over whether I have a problem , what kinda problem do I have, what does it mean for the rest of my life am I gonna have to completely give up my drug etc. This book puts me at ease with myself. Even if you don't give up alcohol or decide to use it differently or continue to drink 2 bottles of wine a night, you can still do things to reduce harm and take care of yourself as you figure it out. For example, continue to drink and do not ever get behind the wheel, yup that's it, continue to do your drug, but don't drive. That's harm reduction. You have already greatly reduced the amount of harm you may do to yourself or others by making 1 positve change.

These by the way are things that I struggle with too, am I a drunk or not etc. A lot of that comes from our cultural indoctrination of what addiction is ( a disease) and what your only hope of managing that disease may be may be (abstinence). Harm reduction says you don't have to label yourself anything, empower yourself to make some changes or choose not to change, but try to understand your choices a little more. This is all stuff that I struggle with to and I'm not so accepting of myself and others on a bad day, but I have a little clarity this morning. Some people may decide on Sunday that they want to be sober or want to reduce and Monday they just do it, but for most of us it's a process. What's important is that you take your own power and define or don't define tings for yourself. Glad you're here.

[purple neck]

The Thin White Line

Out, Thanks for that M8 , that does help, think I might get my hands on that book. Sounds a good read.

[Doggygirl]

The Thin White Line

Out that sounds like an interesting read, and an interesting approach. Sounds like "make improvements" rather than "all or nothing." That certainly makes sense to me.

A real turning point for me was realizing that how "others" view my drinking doesn't matter to me much any more. And believe me, I've spent so many years trying to manage? damage control? my public percpetion. I have finally reached the point where *I* am tired of booze having such a strong influence over my days, my scheduling, my activities, my thoughts, etc. This is for *me* now.

I find these threads and posts very thought provoking, and I learn a lot more about myself and where I want to go with each read. Thanks!

DG

[Robert Smith]

The Thin White Line

purple neck;159636 wrote: Sponge, I drink every day, today hopefully will be AF for the first time for a long time. I have been drinking 1 - 2 bottles of wine per day depending on circumstances.

Purple neck is a girl then?? 1-2 bottles is a lot for a lady or anyone for that matter . My habit is 10 to 11:30 in the evening and I usually drink 10-15 ounces of rum. Gotta stop
or I will have some serious issues down the road.

[out]

The Thin White Line

for doggygrrrl

"I have finally reached the point where *I* am tired of booze having such a strong influence over my days, my scheduling, my activities, my thoughts, etc."

Sounds like it is about you and what you want or don't and that's awesome. I like systems, philosophies, treatments etc that encourage empowerment and choice making rather than powerlessness. I really apprieciated your earlier post relating your cigarette addiction to your drinking. Thanks

[Beaches]

The Thin White Line

Hi Purple, I guess I told myself when I even started asking myself those questions I had a problem. People who don't have a problem don't even ask themselves questions about drinking, like my husband who can take it or leave it.

It's kind of like when you are in the midst of drinking and you stop and ask yourself "am I drunk". That's when you know you are in trouble.

I recently started talking to one of my friends about this and she said to me why would you look at drinking as a problem? It's not,it's just part of who we are and that's when I realized I was in a whole different ball game then her.

It's good to think about these things.

[gdy]

The Thin White Line

I agree with all of you. I really didn't consider my drinking much, until I went on a medical leave from work (unrelated to drinking). I quit smoking 15 months ago (2 packs a day) and since I've been on the leave (since mid May) I have been drinking earlier and earlier each day. This is bothering me big time, especially since I have a weight problem related to drinking. I sure would appreciate any help I can get.

[purple neck]

The Thin White Line

Sponge Bob, "Purple neck is a girl then?? 1-2 bottles is a lot for a lady or anyone for that matter ."

No, sorry M8 not a girl, got your hopes up did I, anyway everyone to his own tipple, Sponge you werent a sailor with the rum thing then. ?? Beaches i think youve hit the nail on the head. when you start thinking about it thats when your in trouble. Thats bang on for me.