Hello

[Janiejay]

Hi all
So glad I found this site , Have been reading some of the posts, I am in a realtionship with a Alcholic who is trying yet again to get dry.

Must admit I am just about at the end of my teather with him and cant cope any more with his attitude. The drinkin gis his problem not mine.

We are suppose to be going on Holiday on Tuesday to Barcelona and Rome but I think I will be going on my own.

Would love to talk to another person who knows how I feel, Sat here in tears again as everynight .

my messenger is jayneknowlessmith@hotmail.co.uk

Please somebody talk to me

[Cinders]

Hello

Welcome and so sorry!!

From smeone sitting on the other side of the fence, I can only commiserate with how you feel. I am sure my husband has spent many hours dreading evenings out or vacations wondering what the heck I was going to do or how I was going to embarrass him when all he wanted to do was spend some quiet loving time with me.

Us alcoholics are very selfish -- a big part of this addiction.

I hope someone can help you here and give you good advice on how to get some help for him and yourself.

This site has been a blessing for me and my husband has been very supportive of my efforts here, even though the steps I have taken are still baby ones.

Good luck and best wishes,
Cindi

[betty boop]

Hello

Hi Janiejay,

I too have the problem, so I see it from the other side,

There is a section for families affected which might be more usefull to you, I really hope that you can sort this and find the happiness that you deserve.

BB xx

[Guest]

Hello

Hi Janiejay.
Am sorry you are so upset.

Finding this site has made such a remarkable difference to my drinking as indeed it is doing for all of us here.

Ask your partner to come here to M.W.O., where he will get all the help he needs. The rest is up to him...............

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress

[magic]

Hello

Hi Janiejay

Welcome,

I, too, am so very, very sorry you are again so very upset.

Life with an addict can sometimes suck, can sometimes be joyous.

We are addicts, yes, but we are intelligent, creative, empathetic (and pathetic at times), soulful, tender and loving. We are, for the most part, good people, I believe.

And, when we are indulging in our addiction we can be, CAN BE, very difficult to live with.
But you say he is trying to get dry.

If he visits us here he can gather information and support and so can you.

As for your vacation...perhaps you should take a girlfriend and leave him at home?

magic xx :schmokin:

[beatle]

Hello

Just one thing to think about (as if you don't have enough)-- your loved one's addiction is probably bothering him more than you realise and he probably feels incredible guilt about what it is doing to you. None of us wants this. The guilt is horrible.

And sorry, db2, I do not agree that it is selfish. Still, I do agree that it's his problem not yours. yet, if you love him, it's yours too, isn't it? Why else would you be writing here?

My humble advice is to be loving and caring as long as he seems to want to rid himself of this. There is a ton of information out there about addicition and its origins and curing it.

If he doesn't show signs of realising how it is destroying your lives, then I don't know what the next step is but you do also have to look out for yourself. But if you are committed to the relationship, you will both need to be ready for hard work.

[out]

Hello

what exactly are you afraid will happen...

if you go on holiday with him right now? this is not something you have to answer here right now if you don't want to, but sometimes it is helpful to spell out what your anticipated fears are. I agree beatle, i personally don't think it is selfish, i think it is self preservation, at least perceived self presevation. Your hubby is probably very aware and deeply troubled by the pain he causes you and others, but somewhere, body, mind, spirit thinks his life depends on his using and that is one of the reasons the complulsion is so hard to break. Love him for who he is and take care of yourself too. It is so hard, I know I have been on both sides of abusive drug/alcohol use.