Hi, I'm new here. I googled online alcohol groups and found this place. The reason-- it's 5:45 pm and I'm just getting over yet another hangover (the end of which I can't remember).
My head hurts.
I feel like s**t. Physically and psychologically.
In the past two months I've lost my boyfriend (I was in a stupid drunk rage) and slept with a good friend -- all due to drinking to the point past blotto.
I have been drinking for many years. The first time I got drunk I really, really, really liked that feeling. I don't do other drugs (mainly b/c I am big on control, and the thought of my senses freaking out is not attractive to me-- like seeing a wall melt or something).
I quit smoking 4 years ago, and I'm a pretty addictive personality. When I start something, even online games, it's hard for me to stop.
I guess that I'm a binge drinker. I don't have to drink everyday, but usually do. When I start, it's whatever is in the house until I feel that drunk feeling. Then I'll continue until I fall asleep or what not. I do stupid, dumb, assinine things when I am drunk (I don't drive when drunk, but iI make bad decisions, say things I don't mean, fight, act in promiscious ways, etc). I have at least 1-2 blackouts a month.
I can't seem to regulate it, whatever I do.
I can't figure it out. I'm well educated, I have the ability to set goals and reach them in other domains, I just seem to be like an accident waiting to happen. As the years go by the dumb things get bigger and more destructive-- like broken relationships and missed days at work.
At the same time, I like wine, I like beer, and I like to have them with friends. I cook gourmet and love all things gastro. I like the social aspects of alcohol. I like to relax, unwind, go wine tasting, etc.
I just can't seem to stop drinking once I start.
I wake up with a mountain of regret. I feel out of sorts, jittery, crappy all around.
In the ideal world I would cut down. I just don't seem to have that gene. When I like something, it's the more the better. I also hate hate hate the idea of not being able to drink.
I am embarassed to say that when I find out people don't drink I often think to myself that there's something wrong with them (lack of self control) and that they're killjoys.
I am coming to the realization that I might have to be one of those people.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm scared. Help.
Does anyone have some advice or experience to share? Can you relate to this? What do I do? I feel like a defective human being.
My head hurts.
I feel like s**t. Physically and psychologically.
In the past two months I've lost my boyfriend (I was in a stupid drunk rage) and slept with a good friend -- all due to drinking to the point past blotto.
I have been drinking for many years. The first time I got drunk I really, really, really liked that feeling. I don't do other drugs (mainly b/c I am big on control, and the thought of my senses freaking out is not attractive to me-- like seeing a wall melt or something).
I quit smoking 4 years ago, and I'm a pretty addictive personality. When I start something, even online games, it's hard for me to stop.
I guess that I'm a binge drinker. I don't have to drink everyday, but usually do. When I start, it's whatever is in the house until I feel that drunk feeling. Then I'll continue until I fall asleep or what not. I do stupid, dumb, assinine things when I am drunk (I don't drive when drunk, but iI make bad decisions, say things I don't mean, fight, act in promiscious ways, etc). I have at least 1-2 blackouts a month.
I can't seem to regulate it, whatever I do.
I can't figure it out. I'm well educated, I have the ability to set goals and reach them in other domains, I just seem to be like an accident waiting to happen. As the years go by the dumb things get bigger and more destructive-- like broken relationships and missed days at work.
At the same time, I like wine, I like beer, and I like to have them with friends. I cook gourmet and love all things gastro. I like the social aspects of alcohol. I like to relax, unwind, go wine tasting, etc.
I just can't seem to stop drinking once I start.
I wake up with a mountain of regret. I feel out of sorts, jittery, crappy all around.
In the ideal world I would cut down. I just don't seem to have that gene. When I like something, it's the more the better. I also hate hate hate the idea of not being able to drink.
I am embarassed to say that when I find out people don't drink I often think to myself that there's something wrong with them (lack of self control) and that they're killjoys.
I am coming to the realization that I might have to be one of those people.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm scared. Help.
Does anyone have some advice or experience to share? Can you relate to this? What do I do? I feel like a defective human being.
until I"m drunk then I'm no longer sophisticated of course. Cindi put it well, just to recap her suggestion to download and read RJ's book and ask lots of questiions here.
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