I'm such a martyr

[friendly_joe]

Hi all

Been drinking socially since I was 15.

Its 13 years later.

Lost a full 6 days. Lost my brother a couple of years back. I know this is the obvious tripe and not an excuse.

I've been reading up on alternatives to AA as I've always been able to 'manage' myself.

On Saturday I had around 25 double VRBs and the longest running blackout I've ever had.

I'm looking into saving up for this as long term benefits might be incalculable. I have an IQ of 152 but _this_ part of my life feels like the only part I simply cannot control. Biological, something I've not been able to autodidactly dissect and cut away. The simple social nights with a bottle of wine is always fun, on the rare occasion that I do drink to 'manage' is what scares me like crazy.

Hi. So much for me rambling.

[betty boop]

I'm such a martyr

Hi FJ and welcome .....

I was at my wits end when I found this place, now I have my life back ...

You can do this ..........

Keep reading and posting ..............


BB xx

[Newyear]

I'm such a martyr

Hi Joe - and welcome. This has been a great place for me too. There is a lot of information available here so lots for you to read. However, I found just talking thru
problems with others here and reading what others have posted made the biggest impact on me.
I wish you well...you have to be ready to start being good to yourself.
:l
Lisa

[memarcie]

I'm such a martyr

Hi Joe and welcome.

[bird]

I'm such a martyr

Hi Joe,
This is a nice place with lots of info you dont get from aa bird

[Beaches]

I'm such a martyr

Welcome Joe,
Keep posting and keep talking. I was never a big talker until I landed here.
Good luck.

[sujul]

I'm such a martyr

:welcome: Joe--lots of smart folks here--and we're all on the same bus!!

[tipsynomore]

I'm such a martyr

Hi Joe,
I'm sorry for your loss and the horrible place you've found yourself in but you are not alone. Keep reading and I guarantee you you'll find lots of wonderful, smart people who have experienced alot of the stuff you have and I agree that talking through you problems really helps.... Good luck.

[Guest]

I'm such a martyr

Hi joe,
Think we just have to believe that when we`re really down, the only way to go is up.
Blackouts are scary stuff, but maybe this last one has done you a favour in that it`s made you evaluate your drinking and acknowledge that you don`t wish to continue as you are.

When I first came to M.W.O., I read the stories of people who had completely turned their life around and never thought it possible that I could do the same. I really have made progress this past month and know in my heart now that I can do this, but only if I truly want to, just as we all can.

I wish you much success in your journey.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

[retteacher]

I'm such a martyr

Joe: I hate the black-outs. For me, they're the worst part of drinking. I don't think I can moderate on a long-term basis. I'm going for broke (AF)! Good luck & keep coming here & posting. The Teacher

[zenvalentine]

I'm such a martyr

Hi Joe,

It has bothered me for years that intelligence is no match for the bottle, but it's only recently that I've truly accepted that there is no way I can control my drinking just because I'm smart. It is very humbling indeed.

Welcome,
Zen

[nattie]

I'm such a martyr

Hello Joe & welcome
I too lost my brother a couple of years ago so I really sympathise with what you've been through.
Hopefully with all the support & advice here you can give it a good shot.
x

[friendly_joe]

I'm such a martyr

I'm sitting here overwhelmed by the number of responses.:l

I've not been able to discuss this with any of my friends, for reasons I can't explain just yet.:new:

This afternoon I was able to source everything, except for the Kudzu. I've also cancelled an evening out ('couple of beers') to just think things through.

I thought of going cold turkey for a while, use my NLP skills (and those of my trained friends) to start reprogramming how I handle tense situations, like the one manifest over the past weekend. I have also start posting to the DrinkTracker.

I've also found the number of the yoga club I belonged to.

Things I will stick to.

• 2 weeks of cold turkey, with daily hypnotherapy sessions and the medication.
• 3 days of gym per week (I usually do 5 per week but won't be able to manage that with yoga)3 days of yoga a week, alternating

To Zen, it started as a party, ended up being something I managed to control my INTJ profile. Reptile brain overrides higher cognitive faculties.


Hi all, and :thanks: again.

Baby steps.

[out]

I'm such a martyr

Good luck Joe

INTJ also, doesn't mean whooey when you're high. judgement impaired, thinking impaired, sometimes i wonder if we do it partially to get that higher mind to just SHUT UP! None of us are really smart enough to understand ourselves, the reptilian brain is really into repetition! Glad you're here. I'm sure you'll be OK.

[friendly_joe]

I'm such a martyr

Thanks out.


I know exactly what you mean.


Point here is to apply some of these ideas and reform my habits.